A little background:
Ds is 5.5 and started Kindergarten this year. Things have been rough, he has a medical PDD diagnosis but his IEP is being utilized under Developmental Delay. His IEP was actually written in May by his Preschool teachers from a previous school and the district doesn't want to write a new one until Jan b/c it has been 3 years since he has had an eval and he is due for one.
He gets PT/OT/ST and gets pulled out and taken to the resource room daily. His latest incident involved the following: On Tuesday he was standing in line in the classroom waiting to go outside and he put his hands around the neck of the child in front of him and squeezed his neck. The child then went and told the teacher. This happened at 11:00am.
At 2:00 I got a call from the principle stating that ds had choked a child to the point of the child not being able to breath and that they had pulled him and put him in the resource room for the rest of the day. Pickup is at 2:40 so I was just getting ready to leave to pick him up. The Special Ed teacher escorted him out to me and I took him home.
After piecing together the story I asked ds why he wasn't able to walk out with the other kids in his class and he told me that Special Ed teacher told him he could not walk out with the other kids because she had to "keep them safe" and that so "no one else would get hurt"
I was upset that she said the safe comment to him b/c he is 5 for one thing and I don't think it was appropriate for them to imply that he is a danger. Ds also told me that she said "I am mad at you"
Honstly I believe him on both things b/c frankly this women has been very difficult to deal with and doesn't seem to know how to handle him. I called the principle and told him that I was upset that she said that to him and of course he basically said it wasn't true and even if it was true that he didn't really care b/c it is their job to keep the other kids safe.
I told him that I would also like to be called when something happens and he made the excuse that he was busy. It took him 3 hours to call me! I don't find it appropriate that they took my child out of class for close to 4 hours and esentially left him by himself. All they did (by their own admitance) is to give him work sheets all day. They even put him in a seperate room by himself to eat lunch and closed the door and they don't have a problem with it b/c when I asked him about it he said "well the door is 3/4 window"
Moving on to last night:
My dd had a friend over and without my knowledge she was demonstrating to her friend how Haylen choked the boy in class. He was watching and went up to her and put his hands around her neck. She admits she said "do it softly" but when I walked in the room she was gagging because he wouldn't let go.
As of yesterday I had gotten in contact with Children's Mental Health, there is a gal who works IN the school but not FOR the school and she is going to try to help. She didn't think the 4 hour "time out" was appropriate and talked to the principle about it, but also mentioned that I wanted to be called and given the option to take ds home when something happens and he told her basically that NO he wasn't going to do that, and that it was his call not mine.
The biggest problem I have is that they think they can find out what makes him tick.. He told me that every child has something the works for them and that they just need to figure out which punishment is most appropriate and is going to make him stop the behavior.
The fact of the matter is there is NOTHING they can do becaused he does things unprovoked and he doesn't know why he does them and punishment does not work. When asked about why he choked the kid in class he said that he didn't want to do it but he just did. (that is pretty standart) He doesn't do it out of anger, he doesn't do it out of ANY reason he just does it.
So far in the 2mos of school he has thrown a rock at a child, hit different children 3 times I believe, punched a child in the neck, and choked a child ALL for no reason there has been no warning and nothing has lead up to it.
He has been like that his entire life though, he has always done things w/o a reason. So today I kept him home from school and am waiting for a call from Children's Mental Health to help point me in the right direction. But I feel like I can't talk to the school b/c they have put a wall up and have shut me out.
I feel like he needs a para but I am not sure what my chances of getting one are. I can guarentee 100% that he will do something else but I don't know when or what and for that reason he is a risk to the other kids. The thought of how they will react when something else happens worries me given what they did with this last incident. I feel like we need a plan in place for these situations b/c shutting him away for the day isn't working for me. He learned absolutely nothing that day. Am I right to want a para? Or do you think I don't stand a chance? Also Am I right to think that the situation was handled wrong?
Ds is 5.5 and started Kindergarten this year. Things have been rough, he has a medical PDD diagnosis but his IEP is being utilized under Developmental Delay. His IEP was actually written in May by his Preschool teachers from a previous school and the district doesn't want to write a new one until Jan b/c it has been 3 years since he has had an eval and he is due for one.
He gets PT/OT/ST and gets pulled out and taken to the resource room daily. His latest incident involved the following: On Tuesday he was standing in line in the classroom waiting to go outside and he put his hands around the neck of the child in front of him and squeezed his neck. The child then went and told the teacher. This happened at 11:00am.
At 2:00 I got a call from the principle stating that ds had choked a child to the point of the child not being able to breath and that they had pulled him and put him in the resource room for the rest of the day. Pickup is at 2:40 so I was just getting ready to leave to pick him up. The Special Ed teacher escorted him out to me and I took him home.
After piecing together the story I asked ds why he wasn't able to walk out with the other kids in his class and he told me that Special Ed teacher told him he could not walk out with the other kids because she had to "keep them safe" and that so "no one else would get hurt"
I was upset that she said the safe comment to him b/c he is 5 for one thing and I don't think it was appropriate for them to imply that he is a danger. Ds also told me that she said "I am mad at you"
Honstly I believe him on both things b/c frankly this women has been very difficult to deal with and doesn't seem to know how to handle him. I called the principle and told him that I was upset that she said that to him and of course he basically said it wasn't true and even if it was true that he didn't really care b/c it is their job to keep the other kids safe.
I told him that I would also like to be called when something happens and he made the excuse that he was busy. It took him 3 hours to call me! I don't find it appropriate that they took my child out of class for close to 4 hours and esentially left him by himself. All they did (by their own admitance) is to give him work sheets all day. They even put him in a seperate room by himself to eat lunch and closed the door and they don't have a problem with it b/c when I asked him about it he said "well the door is 3/4 window"
Moving on to last night:
My dd had a friend over and without my knowledge she was demonstrating to her friend how Haylen choked the boy in class. He was watching and went up to her and put his hands around her neck. She admits she said "do it softly" but when I walked in the room she was gagging because he wouldn't let go.
As of yesterday I had gotten in contact with Children's Mental Health, there is a gal who works IN the school but not FOR the school and she is going to try to help. She didn't think the 4 hour "time out" was appropriate and talked to the principle about it, but also mentioned that I wanted to be called and given the option to take ds home when something happens and he told her basically that NO he wasn't going to do that, and that it was his call not mine.
The biggest problem I have is that they think they can find out what makes him tick.. He told me that every child has something the works for them and that they just need to figure out which punishment is most appropriate and is going to make him stop the behavior.
The fact of the matter is there is NOTHING they can do becaused he does things unprovoked and he doesn't know why he does them and punishment does not work. When asked about why he choked the kid in class he said that he didn't want to do it but he just did. (that is pretty standart) He doesn't do it out of anger, he doesn't do it out of ANY reason he just does it.
So far in the 2mos of school he has thrown a rock at a child, hit different children 3 times I believe, punched a child in the neck, and choked a child ALL for no reason there has been no warning and nothing has lead up to it.
He has been like that his entire life though, he has always done things w/o a reason. So today I kept him home from school and am waiting for a call from Children's Mental Health to help point me in the right direction. But I feel like I can't talk to the school b/c they have put a wall up and have shut me out.
I feel like he needs a para but I am not sure what my chances of getting one are. I can guarentee 100% that he will do something else but I don't know when or what and for that reason he is a risk to the other kids. The thought of how they will react when something else happens worries me given what they did with this last incident. I feel like we need a plan in place for these situations b/c shutting him away for the day isn't working for me. He learned absolutely nothing that day. Am I right to want a para? Or do you think I don't stand a chance? Also Am I right to think that the situation was handled wrong?
