DS is 21mos old & I still don't go out at certain times because I know he'll cry. Also, for over a year we almost never drove more than 20 minutes from home because DS & I could really only handle 20 minutes of crying.
Honestly the worst things anyone has ever said to me are something along the lines of, "He's not as bad as you think," or "He doesn't seem high-needs" etc. NO KIDDING, because I've arranged my life around trying to help him be as happy as possible. I know what he likes & how he likes things & if I do things *just right* we can get through an outing with minimal crying. No one really knows what he's like at home. I know people are probably just trying to be comforting by saying he's not that bad, but it's really invalidating for me to hear & makes me feel like an inadequate parent.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, I'm having a bad day... bad week really... I guess I'm just saying, you never know. I think the nicest thing you could say to your friend would be, "When is your baby happiest? When would be the best time for us to get together?" Maybe her child is HN, maybe not, but obviously she's struggling and if you value this budding friendship, I'd try to work around her needs a little more if possible. I also think it's great that you're trying to find social outlets for her, but don't forget about yourself!!
