Angry and sad all the time

[bambii22]

I don't really have many people to talk to. I'm staying with my mother right now. When ever I try to talk to her about something she tells me its not her problem. We used to be incredibly close. I lose my temper a lot. I "bottle it up", hoping it will pass. It usually does but with some aftermath. I have the most beautiful little boy. He's such a sweet heart. A little snuggle bunny if you will. He's "a good baby". He doesn't really fuss. He's content and happy majority of the time. But when he does gets fussy, my patience is tested. Then he cries. It makes me upset. I know I shouldn't be. It makes me feel like a failure when my LO cries. Like I'm not doing something right. He's easily calmed so, I don't know why I take it so personally. He plays with his toys and squeels and laughs at random and when we play. It warms my heart to see him smiling back at me. I don't want to be upset with him. He's my baby. And I love him dearly. He's 5 months old and I am BF. I read somewhere awhile back its supposed to be healing in some sort of way. Its been very nice. But I've gotten a lot of grief for it from my SO's family. They tell me he shouldn't be nursing so often. And that if he were on the bottle then we could do more. That the amount of time he's on the boob is unhealthy. Whenever we're over SO's family members house the make us go into another room. IDK. I have so much more I would like to get out. I figure this would be a good start. Any words of encouragement or advice would be GREATLY appreciated.

I've been on Citalapram but am not good at taking pills on a daily basis.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I'm going to ask him for a referral for a therapist.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read.

[neveryoumindthere]

*hugs*

It's sad that other people feel it's their business how you nourish your own child, especially since it's the healthiest way. I know for me I was super defensive with my first 2 when ppl made comments. After a while though, I would just say "This is what works for our family right now". It was polite enough and kept their mouth shut. How could they argue what was best for my family?

Are you getting any time alone at all? Some time to do something fun just for you?

Even the most calm mom gets worked up over hearing her baby cry. I do think it's super common. Their voices were made to be super irritating in teh beginning to get mom's attention, because it's the only way they can communicate. In a little while he'll be able to use words and the whiny/crying will taper off.

couldn't read without responding
gtg put my 3 to bed.

takecare!

[bambii22]

Thank you neveryoumind.
No I really don't get much time to myself. Only when my Lo is napping/sleeping or when my mom holds him briefly. SO is little to no help. He claims that because he works all day he's tired. And that I'm lucky I get to stay home with DS. Not that I'm not greatful, I would love a few hours. SO complains whenever I ask him to take DS. I kinda have to make him. SO does love him and I adore seeing them together. DS perks up whenever he even enters the room. SO has a problem *ehem, that comes before us though. He deny's it. I see it as very obvious. But I digress. I like taking DS out to Target or where ever we need to go. He loves seeing new places and squeels at new faces

[vanessab23]

hey mama-- big hugs to you.

i have been there, don't have much time but wanted to say that with the situation you are dealing with between your mom and SO, you are holding up better than i would have.

come up with some good lines like PP said about how to answer those nosy people that will (not rudely) keep them from bringing it up again. b/c if you are anything like me, the more i heard it the more worked up i got, so someone could just look at me funny and i would start spewing pro-breastfeeding stats LOL

lastly, i understand that prozac is a good med for those who may not be great about taking it every day-- my grandma is on one now and my mom chose that one since grandma is pretty forgetful. ask your doctor? it has something to do with it's half-life.

again, HUGS.