Need a Resource please

[ThankfulMama]

I need recommendations for a book or website that discusses what my toddler is capable of developmentally. I am having trouble navigating this toddler phase because I dont feel like I understand what she is capable of and what is too advanced. For example, at what age could I expect her to wait next to me (when I ask) while I put my coat on and get my bag (i.e. understand that she can't run off in public)? I don't want to set my expectations too high or too low. I haven't found a book that discusses this, however. Any suggestions?

[crunchy_mommy]

Hmm I usually use this forum to figure out what's realistic lol!!

I also like the development tracker here

How old is your DD?

DS is 21mos & he sort of knows to stay near me but his impulse control overrides it sometimes & he tries to take off. I have a friend with a 33mo & she takes off the same way sometimes. I think while they are toddlers, they might understand a concept like waiting but are usually not consistently capable of following through.

[SpuglyRoo]

Do you mean something like this?

[ThankfulMama]

Thanks for the sites; I will check them out. DD is 17mos. I get nervous taking her out in public because she has her own agenda and has a fit when mine interferes! I know I need to respect her developmental stage, but I also want to be able to get things done and know when she is able to handle a bit more. I feel like such a rookie.

[crunchy_mommy]

Just try it out! Go to the store when you DON'T need anything, and let her wander a bit. Then spend the other half of the outing testing how she responds to a more realistic shopping situation. I can usually get DS to cooperate by meeting him halfway... I let him push the cart with me, or give him ten minutes at the beginning of our trip to run around. When he was younger he never went in the cart but now that he's more adventurous I do put him in the cart for most of the trip if I'm actually serious about shopping! He helps out by picking out avocados, or helping me choose a birthday gift, or just putting things I hand him into the cart. If you use a shopping list, she can have her own as well & cross things off. My general 'rule' is to let him do whatever he wants (within reason) as long as I'm able to give him proper attention. If I need to read a lot of labels or something, then he needs to hold my hand or go in the cart -- I don't want to risk him running off while I'm distracted.