it's going to take a miracle, or a LOT of good MDC advice...

[spughy]

I need help.

Here's the sitch: I am 38 and my cycles have recently started changing - from a normal and predictable 28-day cycle with ewcm around day 14 and about 4 days of bleeding with AF, to a 26-27 day cycle with ewcm around days 10-12 and 2-3 days bleeding. Also, my breasts have stopped being tender the week before AF. I suspect I may be heading towards (if not in) perimenopause.

If that's not bad enough, my DH is on effexor, and hasn't been able to ejaculate in... hmmm.... I can't remember how long. Maybe around a year ago? His libido is pretty non-existant, but he's happy to hop into the sack and give it the old college try for the purposes of procreation. Except, without his boys making their exit, it's not that helpful (I have a good time, so it's not completely a waste .)

And we want another baby. We're realizing that it's not "just going to happen" anymore. So, any and all advice on how to deal with both his and my situations is welcome.

[BathrobeGoddess]

Moved to infertility...good luck mama!

[happysmileylady]

Are you asking what the next step might be in the world of fertility assistance? Or are you asking how to deal with accepting not having any more kids?

I am going to assume the first, since that's the one I am better equipped to answer I dealt with secondary unexplained infertility for 6 years and eventually needed an IVF to have my second.

The first thing I would suggest, since it seems that his meds are a problem, is checking with the doc to see if there are other meds or other treatments he could try, instead of the effexor. Also, have him go to the doc to be sure that his problem IS the meds and not a seperate problem that just happens to coincide with the meds. And if none of that helps, perhaps there are some other meds out there that can help with that particular problem specifically.

As for you, conception can absolutely still occur with an earlier ovulation date. If you think your hormone levels are a little off though, you might want to see about getting them tested.

[dot1]

I have had some similar things with my body (though my cycles are much longer...they got a few days shorter and periods a bit lighter than in past). http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1271673 is my post if you're interested. I'm 38 too.

Have you seen your GP for an initial hormonal bloodwork (Day 3 - FSH, LH, Estadriol, TSH)? They can start the bloodwork asap and then refer you to an OB. With your age, they shouldn't hesitate to refer. This will give clues about your ovaries.

I'm guessing dh hasn't done a semen analysis if the boys won't come out to play! But that would be important before you do too much.

About the meds, is it possible for him to switch? Wellbutrin is well known for its lack of sexual side effects...in fact when dh tried it for a while his libido shot up! SSRI's are thought to have a negative effect on fertility...but I can't recall if it's due to problems ejaculating, or if they affect sperm.

Hope it goes well. Keep us posted

[dakotablue]

Dh had some trouble with effexor. Lowing the dose worked for him. He came off of it totally now.

Could you try caste tree berry? That helped regulate me a bit before we tried intervention with DS (he was clomid with hcg tigger)