Explaining vaccine choices to kids...

[kythe]

I delayed vaccines with both of my kids and I have never gone for routine flu shots. I had H1N1 last year, and my daughter had the flu also, though we didn't have her tested for which type. Her case was mild in the way that the flu can run, but from her perspective it was awful and she wants a flu shot this year.

I really don't think its necessary since she isn't in a high risk group, and I don't believe the flu shot is as effective as claimed. But she just believes if she gets the flu shot she won't get the flu, simple as that.

She's 10, and part of me wants to let her make some of her own decisions about her body. She is certainly old enough to be responsible in many ways. But I really don't want to get her the flu shot and I haven't been successful in explaining the downsides. What would you do? When do you start allowing your kids to make their own decisions on vaccines?

[japonica]

I think, at age 10, even as mature and intelligent as many children are (and your child likely is), they cannot always fully appreciate all the complexities involved with issues like vaccines.

I know I've heard quite a few times that even with teens, the part of their brains that deals with reasoning and analytical skill is still developing well into their early 20s.

Perhaps there's a way to explain to her that just because people get flu shots, it doesn't mean that they won't get the flu. You could talk about how effective (or ineffective) it is and then talk about alternative ways that she could stay healthy. Then she could choose from these ideas which ones she would like to incorporate (vitamin D, hand washing, adequate sleep, healthy foods, elderberry, vitamin C, whatever). That gives her some choice in her own health. Maybe frame it as well that a flu shot is but one recommendation, one option, out of many ways to stay healthy, so she has all these others to choose from.

My DD is just turning 6 years old and she's starting to ask questions about it. We walked past a flu clinic in the local shopping mall when we were back in Canada last month and she asked why all those people were getting needles. I said, "Because they think it will keep them healthy." That was enough for her at that time. Even as she gets older, her father and I are responsible for her health (and that of her brother) and we will have the final say on vaccines until she is of age, although I imagine we'll have some talks down the road about hep B, meningococcal disease etc. risks and safety once they're in their teens. And after they turn 18, if they want to have yearly flu shots, boosters, whatever, it's their choice.

Good luck!

[onetrumpeter]

DD is just three and is pretty darn aware of flu shots - questions about what they're doing (she can very well see they're having needles in their upper arm so I have to be pretty forthright). I'm feeling SO not ready to explain why we do things "differently" and it's frustrating.

[bamamom]

I would absolutely allow a 10 year old to make that choice. After all, she is the one who suffered with the flu last year, and she wants to avoid repeating that experience.

Nothing strange about that. And you can say "Hey, the shot doesn't always work, so it's not a guarantee, but if you choose this I won't stop you"

And what if you don't allow her to get it and she contracts the flu again? She could really hold that against you, I would think.

At 10 I think a lot of girls are getting ready to turn that corner towards making choices for themselves.

[JavaJunkie]

If I were in this situation, I would let the child get the shot. I would also take the child at her word about how badly the flu affected her, and how sick she felt with it, and respect that. The flu obviously was a bad enough illness for her to cause her to want the vaccine this year. You may think it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't your body going through it. So you can't really know exactly what it was like, but you can believe her when she tells you that it was awful and that she wants the shot.

[Naomi]

One of the phrases I see here an awful lot is "trust your gut, you know your body best."

At ten, I think she is hitting the point where she knows her body and should be learning to trust her own gut. Her gut is telling her that she will be better off with the flu shot than without it this year, and I think you should respect that.

[littlemizflava]

my dd is 8 she knows what bad things are in vaccines. how everyone thinks that they will give 100% protection. how it is better to boost your immunity they rely on something that is life threating. does she know that we get stronger from things like the flu? does she know that there is many different types of flu and she can still get one of the ones not in the shot?

i would show her different ways to keep her healthy. things we can take and do to keep our bodies form getting sick or from getting really sick.

i would never let my 10 year old deside to get a vax or not. vaxes dont protect.

[ammiga]

I would not let a 10 yo make that choice. Maybe she wants one because her friends all get one. Maybe she really thinks it will keep her healthy. At any rate, what if she has a bad reaction or long-term issues with it? If my mother let me make a potentially lifelong decision at 10 that she believed was harmful, as an adult (and now mother) I would be irate. We have parents to do our parenting until we are old enough to understand the long-term ramifications of our actions. Children simply do not have that kind of foresight.

Like a pp suggested, if her main goal is to stay healthy, show her other ways to keep the flu and other illnesses at bay (diet, lifestyle, hand washing, vitamins, sleep, etc.). That is a great life long lesson you can teach her!

[xelakann]

Originally Posted by bamamom

I would absolutely allow a 10 year old to make that choice. After all, she is the one who suffered with the flu last year, and she wants to avoid repeating that experience.

Nothing strange about that. And you can say "Hey, the shot doesn't always work, so it's not a guarantee, but if you choose this I won't stop you"

And what if you don't allow her to get it and she contracts the flu again? She could really hold that against you, I would think.

At 10 I think a lot of girls are getting ready to turn that corner towards making choices for themselves.

Yes, this.

Just like anything, provide her with information about the vax the pros and cons and explain why you don't want her to do it, but after all of that if she still wants it I'd let her do it. And to say the least I am NOT a fan of flu shot. However, I am a fan of helping my children develop a healthy self-concept and respecting their decision I feel helps nurture this.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by ammiga

I would not let a 10 yo make that choice. Maybe she wants one because her friends all get one. Maybe she really thinks it will keep her healthy. At any rate, what if she has a bad reaction or long-term issues with it? If my mother let me make a potentially lifelong decision at 10 that she believed was harmful, as an adult (and now mother) I would be irate. We have parents to do our parenting until we are old enough to understand the long-term ramifications of our actions. Children simply do not have that kind of foresight.

Like a pp suggested, if her main goal is to stay healthy, show her other ways to keep the flu and other illnesses at bay (diet, lifestyle, hand washing, vitamins, sleep, etc.). That is a great life long lesson you can teach her!

Letting your child choose drugs that can cause serious harm is not the same as letting them bear the consequences of being slightly chilly at recesses because they did not want to wear the long sleeves you suggested. It is our burden as parents to make these decisions for them. What would you say if they had a serious reaction? "Well, it was your decision ."

[carriebft]

Of course the other side of the argument is if she gets the flu again, how will she feel? There are complications associated with flu, and, like others have said, I agree that kids have a right to feel illnesses are different for them than how we perceive them. (one big reason I would never intentionally expose my kids to illness)

However, if she really did have h1n1 last year, would she would then have immunity, correct? I am unsure of how long influenza immunity lasts to a particular strain once you have it. Perhaps look that up and present it to her. that would leave the H3N2 virus and an influenza B virus as the ones she could benefit from with the vaccine.

[Emmeline II]

.

Edited by Emmeline II - 11/16/10 at 12:39pm

[bbrandonsmom]

 No one said it. Ask her if she gets the vaccine and yet still gets the flu, how did it help her? 

I would not let a 10yr old make that decision. Another pp mentioned adverse reaction. What if she developed GB? How in the world would you explain that it was her decision to get the flu vax, and well, now she's worse off from it. You can present the facts to her about the vaccine, as well as the history of it. A 10yr old is old enough to understand key points. She may be hearing all the news media talking about it already. The flu is not fun, but she can still get it, make sure she understands that, as well as the other side effects. 

 Focus on health, and how she can stay healthy. That's my opinion. My ds is 5.5 and started asking me why last year, people were lining up for shots at the grocer. I told him why, and why we do not vax. But in a way he would understand. Just have a talk with her and see what she says. Perhaps give her some info to read over and then tell her to bring her questions to you. Get it out in the open more.

[Mommyintraining2]

I tell my children what the ingredients are in each vaccine, what they do and the potential they have for harm.  Just knowing what's in the flu shot may be enough to change her mind.

[kythe]

At this point, it seems the decision has been made not to get the flu shot.  She mentions it occasionally, so sometimes when we are out I will say, "If you want to get a flu shot, now would be a good time".  Yet somehow she never wanted to at the right times.  I think she got the idea from friends at school, as well as the fact that she had the flu last year and doesn't want to be sick again.  But it isn't something she seems to have strong feelings about.

I brought it up at dinner last night and told her if she really wants to get a flu shot, it needs to be very soon since we are already in flu season.  I also told her that there are other ways of protecting ourselves from getting the flu, like frequent hand washing, avoiding people who are sick, and taking vitamins with echinacea (she has taken a children's form before).  Also, there are several strains of flu but the shot only protects against one, so we can't guarantee that we won't get the flu even with the shot.  She said, "okay" and seemed happy with that.

If she does get the flu again this year, I'm sure it would influence her perspective again.  I can still explain that we make the best choices we can with the information we have, and we still don't know for sure that a vaccine would have prevented it.  If she has stronger feelings about it next year, it may be best to go ahead and let her have the flu shot then.

[Mommyintraining2]

Nice explanation, Mama!

[Otto]

Originally Posted by kythe 

Also, there are several strains of flu but the shot only protects against one, so we can't guarantee that we won't get the flu even with the shot.  She said, "okay" and seemed happy with that.

Three. The seasonal flu shot has been two A strains and one B for some time.

[kythe]

Originally Posted by Otto 

Originally Posted by kythe 

Also, there are several strains of flu but the shot only protects against one, so we can't guarantee that we won't get the flu even with the shot.  She said, "okay" and seemed happy with that.

Three. The seasonal flu shot has been two A strains and one B for some time.

Hmmm.  It does seem that way this year.  I had heard the H1N1 vaccine was mixed with the regular flu, but didn't realize there were strains of both A and B.  I guess they are improving. :)

I worked at a flu shot clinic the year the flu shot wasn't very effective because they had chosen the wrong strain to innoculate.  I haven't kept up too much with it since.