dh got sent home from work

[CherryBombMama]

(because there is no work to be done. they will call him in a couple weeks to go back. construction. sigh.)

anyways...

HE IS DRIVING ME NUTS! i had my routine, it worked so well - got myself and the boys dressed, went out, came back, lunch, naptime for them, THEN cleaned the house/prepped dinner/etc. he doesnt understand that if i cleaned up in the morning, it would just get trashed again in the afternoon, so that would mean i would be "cleaning up" three times (cuz i pick up in the evening too) instead of two. im going crazy. it was 6:30am and he started scrubbing the kitchen! now, dont get me wrong, i love that he is helping and that i dont have to do it, but he makes it seem like im such a pig, living in a filthy house. i try telling him, its just gonna get dirty again in a couple hours, if you were at work, you wouldnt notice this, im not cleaning up the second i open my eyes ....

lets see how long before he stops cleaning in the morning lol

[LionessMom]

my DH does construction too. and it drives me nuts when he is home. but my DH doesnt help clean anything. so i would be very hesitant to stop anything that looked like cleaning. lol.

i love it when he goes back to work though. i hate having someone sit and stare at me while i am working offering up advice i dont need about how to do it better. i try to remind myself it is bc he has nothing to do and it drives him crazy not having anything to do. i try to shoo him out of the house. and into the garage or shed or something. "hey have you fixed this yet? it would give you something to do and i would really appreciate it" type stuff. sometimes it works. good luck to you! i hope you keep your sanity. mine ran away......

[Ornery]

When we've gone through periods of layoff with my DH in the winter, we've had some of the same issues. Well not same as in he would never scrub a floor, but he would tell me I needed to!

I had to just make myself be okay with his "disapproval" of my schedule or way of doing things and do my own thing as if he wasn't there. I would let him know our schedule for the next day, ask if he wanted to be included in it (for playgroups, library trips, park trips, etc) and then if not, suggest several projects that he could work on. Giving him specific things to do, for us not cleaning but more DIY household type stuff, seemed to really help him. Also telling him when that chore (whichever one he seemed to think needed to be done right that second) was scheduled helped as well.

On days where he was bound and determined to get in my way, not in a helpful manner but in an interfering manner, I admit I would go rent him a movie or video game to keep him out of my hair.

[TinkerBelle]

Who do these men think that they are to dictate when to clean and how to clean, when some of them seem to think that they are above doing anything except bringing in a paycheck?

Grrrrr.

[sunnymw]

I'm glad DH never has 2 days off in a row because I'd be driving him to work on day 2 myself and dumping him at the door!

[annettemarie]

When DH was in seminary, we almost killed each other his first year. His schedule was erratic and he was driving me nuts hanging out at our apartment. We finally made a deal that he would leave at 9, come home at noon, leave at 1, and come home at 5. I didn't care where he went-- library, class, chapel, work, the bar across the street-- but he coudln't come home. I really think it saved out marriage.

[SilverFish]

i agree with the PP about sharing the schedule with him. for someone just dropped off in someone else's life (essentially) things could look chaotic and unplanned. if you show him what your daily life looks like, then maybe he can relax a bit?

does he have any other skills? what about hiring himself out as a handyman in your neighbourhood? my husband doesn't have an erratic schedule, but if he did, he would probably love the chance to work on some of his other skills (photography, website design etc) and turn them into money making ventures. anyway, since he's obviously bored, maybe suggest he find another job to do?

[sapphire_chan]

Surely he could do the difficult, once a year stuff, like vacuuming the refrigerator coils, and degreasing the vent hood instead?

[MrsBone]

My DH is gone all the time for work, but on the weekends, he sometimes drives me crazy Luckily he never criticizes any housework or lack thereof, but doesn't willingly help out either. If I ever heard a peep out of him that sounded remotely like criticism, I'd be telling him to do it himself!

[mama_y_sol]

It's really tough when DH is home here too. He's in construction as well and has had several times of unemployement this past year.

What helps to save us is projects. If dh is home, he can be in his workshop or the garage doing something productive. He's restored a few pieces of furniture from freecycle. He built us a new fence, fixed up the garden. He will find items for FREE that are broken (freecycle, craigslist, dump) and fix them. He will also do car maintenance. Anything that I have been thinking about doing for a while gets done.

He's not a cleaner. But having him just hang around all day can drive me crazy. This way he is occupied and we can still stick to our normal routines for the most part.