Did I "under-react"? - Page 2

[kathteach]

I'd be upset at the staff who left the zipties carelessly behind.

[elmh23]

I don't think you under-reacted, but I could see how a parent with out all the info would have a minor freak out!

[Lisa1970]

Depends on the nature of it. Was your son held down and forcibly tied? Or was he sort of playing with the other kids and tied? Makes all the difference.

I was mortified the other day when my son told someone I had tied him up! I was horrified. I quickly explained that he was reading Calvin and Hobbes and pretending Hobbes did it and wanted me to do it to him so he could pretend Hobbes did and he was Calvin. See how that is totally different from bullying?

In otherwords, if your child was bullied, you should be upset. If not, let it go and let the other parents know he was just playing.

Please consider too that sometimes, a child will not admit they were bullied, when they were, because they fear the bully or they want to be friends with the bully, etc.

[EdnaMarie]

If it's like it sounds to me, that they were all playing a game and did not realize the permanence of the ties until it was done, and then they were all upset (i.e. it was not a targeted attack but a friendly game that went too far and they all agreed that it went too far) then no, I would not be upset, either.

Leaving the zip ties was a careless mistake, but accidents and mistakes happen.

I probably would have reacted in the same way.

Some people over-react. I don't know, life is just not... exciting enough? I don't know! Certainly I would speak to my child about the coat thing, and if it happened twice, yes, ask to speak to the other parents, but accidents happen.

[Toolip]

I'm just having a hard time imagining why it took them 15 minutes to get it cut off. I'm glad it wasn't too tight to be causing him pain that whole time.

I think you reacted perfectly fine! We all need a little understanding and forgiveness and one time or another!

[Autumn Breeze]

Originally Posted by Toolip

I'm just having a hard time imagining why it took them 15 minutes to get it cut off. I'm glad it wasn't too tight to be causing him pain that whole time.

I think you reacted perfectly fine! We all need a little understanding and forgiveness and one time or another!

Probably just how long it took to walk to get scissors/wire cutters and walk back. I can see it taking that long at the school my son attended. They would have found an adult to run had the child been hurt, and i imagine the same would be true for the OP's child.

I do not think you under-reacted at all. If anything the parents saying they would be 'furious' are perhaps over-reacting a bit?

[Momily]

I think your reaction was fine.

I also think the rumor mill might be turning this into something else. Parents might be hearing from their kids that "Lucy tied Johnny to the soccer goal, and he was there ALL recess! Ms. Soandso had to cut him off with WIRE CUTTERS!" and picturing something completely different. By the time they speak to you it's been built up in their imagination and they have a hard time shifting from "emergency" to "oh, typical kid stuff".

I might even go one step further and call the other child's mom. If you're getting this much flak she is too, and would probably appreciate hearing from you the way your son tells the story, and that you aren't mad.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Wait, it took WIRE CUTTERS to cut the zip-tie? Why not just scissors??

OP, I think I would have done exactly the same thing.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama

Wait, it took WIRE CUTTERS to cut the zip-tie? Why not just scissors??

OP, I think I would have done exactly the same thing.

My guess is they were the industrial thickness type. The thin ones can be cut by scissors, but we used to use some at work that were thick enough that we needed wire cutters for them.

[lach]

I'm guessing that the parents are going off of information their children told them, and their children saw this as a Grand Dramatic Experience that was far more exciting than anything else that had ever happened at recess. So they went home and lord only knows what they told their parents about what happened... I can definitely imagine it being quite the harrowing tale of playmate torture and adult ineptitude as everyone runs around trying to save your poor son who is quickly losing consciousness or whatever.

I think that the school handled it quite well (maybe going a little overboard... the letters seem like overkill, honestly), and your reaction was sane and normal.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by lach

I think that the school handled it quite well (maybe going a little overboard... the letters seem like overkill, honestly

from what your ds told you, sending a letter to the other family doesn't make sense to me.

[mamalisa]

BY Friday the story will be that they had to call the fire dept to have them use the jaws of life to remove him from the goal  

I wouldn't have gotten upset either.  Kids do dumb kids things, no harm no foul.

[Alyantavid]

Definitely didn't underreact.  It doesn't sound like the girl meant any harm and it wasn't a huge issue.

It would take something major for me to email/call another parent to find out the rest of the story. 

[blizzard_babe]

Normal kid mistake, normal parent reaction, hooray for normal.

Plus, now a whole class full of kids know how zipties work. Consider it a life lesson.

[Cavy]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1325607/Dinner-lady-sacked-told-parent-daughter-bullied.html

You sound sensible and the school has acted reasonably, too, imvho.If you want a textbook example of how a similar incident could be handled terribly by the school, look at link above.

[ecoteat]

Oh, man, do I understand this. I teach in a tiny school (60 kids K-8) and the gossip and drama can be crazy. I had to deal with a pretty serious bus issue recently that I only knew about because one kid told his mom, who told another mom, who told the babysitter who also happens to be a sub, who casually mentioned something to another teacher. By the time it got to me no one knew what had actually happened and it turned into a huge problem. So by the time we got to the bottom of it, there were lots of people who thought something quite different happened and they were all gossiping about it. I so hope that the one kid's parents didn't get any "concerned" calls or emails from other parents.

I think you, the school, and the kids all handled the whole thing just fine. Sounds like a non-issue to me, really, other than maybe getting on the staff to not leave their equipment in kids' spaces.
 

Originally Posted by delphine 

One of the things I like about this school is that, because they are so small, the kids in all of the classes know each other and many of the families know each other also. The negative impact of that is that sometimes they are very much into everyone's business and there seems to be a good bit of gossip that goes around.