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Frugal or gross?

post #1 of 63
Thread Starter 
My MIL is very very cheap. She is extremely weird around food and will save two green beans in a small container. As she has aged, it has gotten worse.

Lately she has been doing something that really bugs me. She brings over an appetizer she served elsewhere that wasn't finished.

So for instance, she will bring over half a cream cheese type spread and the crackers left over from bridge night.

What do you all think? Appropriate or not?
post #2 of 63
I can see doing that with family.
post #3 of 63
Was it her appetizer? I would be fine with MIL bringing over an appetizer she made or an opened box of somethign she had. If it was leftovers from somebody else that she saved and brought to my house, then I would think that was weird. It doesn't make a lot of sense logically, but that's what I would be comfortable with.
post #4 of 63
Or, the other day she brought over a opened box of fat free fig newtons.
What's wrong with an opened box of cookies or crackers? I can see not wanting the dip that other people had been using (maybe), but I don't understand your issue with the fig Newtons.

You didn't toss them when she was there, did you?
post #5 of 63
I wouldn't have an issue with that either... if the food is still good.
post #6 of 63
We eat our leftovers that we make for parties, if they don't dry out or spoil. With family, I don't think it's gross.
post #7 of 63
The cheese spread might bother me because it would have been out and sort of breathed over, but the opened box of fig newtons wouldn't (although I'm sort of with you on the fat-free bit, I don't see anything wrong with bringing the rest).

We're into leftovers at my house though. Free food, as long as it's not unsafe or whatever, is nice - I hate all that stuff going into compost. Plus it's a nice treat. I do sometimes save the two leftover green beans if I have soup planned; everything goes into it.
post #8 of 63
This actually wouldn't bother me at all -- like the PP said, I'd be okay if it were a family member.
post #9 of 63
Thread Starter 
Just to clarify on the Fig Newton's-I probably shouldn't have mentioned them since my reason for not eating them is we simply don't eat store bought cookies.

And no way did I throw them out when she was there.
post #10 of 63
Originally Posted by Rose-Roget View Post
We eat our leftovers that we make for parties, if they don't dry out or spoil. With family, I don't think it's gross.
I might pass on the spread, depending on how well she keeps food.
post #11 of 63
I don't have a problem with an opened package of cookies or crackers, but I wouldn't have eaten the dip either -- it likely sat out for hours on bridge night.
post #12 of 63
I think it's gross and tacky to boot.

I would never bring half eaten food over to anyone's house for a pot luck or anything like that or any gathering where people are all asked to bring a dish.

But if she is just stopping by after her bridge group meets, as a very informal thing, I think it would be fine. Probably still gross to me and I wouldn't eat it (I'm not a big fan of most leftovers), but not tacky in that case.
post #13 of 63
I don't really feel good about eating something that has been sitting out among strangers, even if my mom did make it. Sitting out isn't so bad depending on the food, IMO, but as someone else said "breathed over"... *shudder* If it had gone to a group of people I know well and came back half eaten, I'd probably eat it.

It's gonna be a personal line everyone is gonna draw for themselves. I'd say "yucko" as well in your situation, but I wouldn't have wanted to hurt mom's feelings and pitched it when she was gone. I'd also have pitched the creepy fat-free store bought cookies. I don't think it's anything anyone needs to feel bad over, you or your mom. Just chuck the unwanted stuff on the down-low or convince her to keep it for herself.
post #14 of 63
My mom would absolutely do that. I wouldn't find it odd at all. But, that's how I grew up.

My Grandmother saved EVERYTHING. She didn't even have trash, because it was either saved, eaten, or composted. She would even cut up jello boxes and save the cardboard.
post #15 of 63
If there is a potluck or something formal and she is bringing this as her contribution, that's tacky. But not gross IMO. If she is bringing them over more in the context of "Hey, I had some of this leftover and I can't use it. Maybe you can use it so it doesn't go to waste.", then I think that is perfectly normal and not gross. My family does that type of thing all the time.

ETA: I forgot to comment on the green beans. If it was really only two, I'd probably ust eat them. But I do save leftovers, even if the portion was quite small. Why not, it's perfectly good food and will be fine reheated with tomorrows dinner.
post #16 of 63
LOL.. I was just reading an article about how much food we throw away in this country. My bigger issue would be EXPIRED food. The kind I constantly find at my moms house. I would just cut off the portion of the cheese that had been exposed and use the rest. Like cutting the mold off a block of cheese.
post #17 of 63
It would depend. For example, if she made the cream cheese dip and had put some out for her friends but then left another portion in the fridge as back up but it didn't get put out and then the next day she brings that leftover dip with some fresh crackers, I think that is perfectly acceptable. Now if she puts out cream cheese dip and crackers for her friends, then throws plastic wrap over it at the end of the night, puts it in the fridge and then brings that to your house the next day for the party I think that isn't really appropriate. Although I wouldn't think it is gross if she ate those leftovers herself, I do not throw food away unless it is actually spoiled.

The cookies wouldn't bother me as long as they were properly stored and not expired.
post #18 of 63
Originally Posted by Rose-Roget View Post
We eat our leftovers that we make for parties, if they don't dry out or spoil. With family, I don't think it's gross.
yeah... and my family covets 7 layer dip so much that we will travel to where it was served to eat it.

(Like come on over, we have left over dip). Especially to my mom's. I don't think it's weird.
post #19 of 63
It'd be weird to me if it was a special occasion, but among family or close friends I don't see anything wrong with finishing up leftovers together.

post #20 of 63
An opened box of dry goods (cookies/crackers). Why would that be gross? We don't eat whole boxes of things in one sitting, and I certainly wouldn't toss an entire box because we'd eaten 2 cookies and now the rest were from an opened box.

The dip, I wouldn't say "gross", really. I would want to know how long it was sitting out. If it was for 1/2 hour, and then refrigerated, I'd be OK. If she was serving it a small portion at a time, and the rest stayed in the fridge, no problem there. I'd only worry if it had all been sitting out at room temp for several hours.
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