Let's take a minute to feel good

[MovnMama]

As a working mother, who loves her son AND her job, I fully acknowledge the stresses of not be a SAHM and struggle with feeling like I'm making the "right decision" every day. I think a lot of us on this board struggle with this or have in the past.

So I was thinking... I'd like a thread to share thoughts and experiences about how our lives and the lives of our *families* are successful and happy.

I'll go first - when I dropped my son off at preschool today, he was immediately greeted by his good friend, who ran to the door to greet us and wanted to play with him right a way. He was just as eager get playing too! But, he paid close attention to giving me my goodbye hugs and kisses - several of them - before skipping off to play play-doh.

It felt really balanced. Especially because yesterday, when DH and I picked him up, I witnessed them playing a pretend game together - coming up with imaginary challenges and then the friend provides the imaginary solution, like "batteries" because the boat "ran out". As he's just getting to the imaginative play and fully functional cooperative play stages this was a cool thing to see.

I felt like he loves us so much, but is really getting a full experience of life and friends as well.

[lunarlady]

My little girl, who will be 4 next week, asked me if crackers will decay when kept out. As a teacher, I was so pleased to not only hear a science word out of DD mouth, but a clear understanding of the idea that refrigeration helps slow decay! Clearly she is learning concepts either at school or with the nanny that would never occur to me to discuss with her.

Oh, and the Lego robotics club discovered my breast pump since I pump in their room at school and I forgot to put it away. They found it fascinating and wanted to figure out how it works. I rescued it before they got the faceplate off. So I guess you could say i "educated" a group of 13 and 14 year old nerdy boys in a whole new way today too. Another successful day in middle school land.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

I love my kiddos and actually enjoy my job (just not always the "military" stuff that goes along with it--if I could do it as a civilian and get the same pay and benefits, I would). Knowing that my son gets his therapies paid for is priceless. I'd have to make about $10 K a month to have the same standard of living (which is pretty bumpkis) and my son get the autism therapies, as I do as an E-5 in the military. However, DH is a SAHD, and he rocks (except for the house--somehow WoW and writing the greatest novel ever gets in the way :biggrin). However, because of his writing, I wish we could afford to put the 1 year old in daycare part time--however, finding part-time daycare for a 1 year old is about as difficult as finding a pediatric dentist that will use amalgam in the tacoma/seattle area (which we did *finally*--just have to drive about 50 miles to the university)

[amma_mama]

Thanks for this thread. DD is now 6 yo and I still struggle with this. Every mornig, I feel bittersweet as DD jumps out of the car, after a quick exchange of "I love you" and happily joins her friends in front of her classroom. She has a whole life of her own outside our family. I am proud that she is so confident on her own and still so happy at night to snuggle with mommy or daddy.

[texmati]

TBH, the best part of working is coming home to DH and DS chillin' in the kitchen/living room. They have an amazing bond-- DH get's up to work at 6:30, so he has a couple hours with DS in the afternoon before I get home. There has never been any mama preference (aside from mama= food). I feel so blessed for both of them.

[mooshersmama]

I love how accepting of our life DD is. She'll say something like, "I go to school but you're too big to go to school. You and Daddy go to work". It makes all the angst and worry seem silly in a way...its hard to explain.

But she loves school, and is so proud when she comes home and sings a song they learned or shows off a picture she drew. Before she went to preschool she was in a home daycare and loved that too. She has gotten to know our neighborhood based on where all her special places are: our home, Ana's (her previous daycare provider) home, her school, the playground, etc. It feels like we are really building a real community with her.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by mooshersmama

I love how accepting of our life DD is. She'll say something like, "I go to school but you're too big to go to school. You and Daddy go to work". It makes all the angst and worry seem silly in a way...its hard to explain.

But she loves school, and is so proud when she comes home and sings a song they learned or shows off a picture she drew. Before she went to preschool she was in a home daycare and loved that too. She has gotten to know our neighborhood based on where all her special places are: our home, Ana's (her previous daycare provider) home, her school, the playground, etc. It feels like we are really building a real community with her.

I know exactly what you mean. DS1 is the same way. To try and be apart of DH and I do in our work life, he's pretending to do 'reports' and give out instructions on how to do these reports with some old files that DH found in his office yesterday. I'm to bring home some stamps from my work so that DS can complete his work tasks.

DS loves his friends, teachers and he loves school - loves to learn. He enjoys asking how our day was as we do the same with him.

[Mosaic]

It was so hard to put my newest baby (now 6 months old) in daycare.

But I just peeked in on the webcam: DD's playing around on the floor, babbling away, and her teacher was singing them a song.

[zippy_francis]

Thanks for this thread, it is a great reminder of how much us working moms do! And how tough it can be to leave the littles when we go out into the world. But the reality is, they are just fine. They adapt and learn and make friends, and open thier life to new experiences. Many times to ones we never would have thought to teach them. In many ways, it does take a village. I cant imagine limiting my kiddos to only me and DH when there is so much to learn and experience out there. The relationships and interactions are priceless!

[t2009]

Thank you for this thread! I have two things:

Every afternoon he goes around the house saying his playmate's name (with whom he shares a nanny) when he sees the chair she sits in to eat or a book she read or her pack-n-play. It's so cute. He loves her so much & I can just see he's thriving with her and with his nanny. It makes me really think that our little family is alright!

This morning, as I was leaving I heard DS banging on the window to get my attention. He was waving & happy. I looked up again to blow him a kiss & he was gone... Just too busy to spend so much time saying bye-bye to mama!

I know I would really stink as a SAHM (it's hard, too, and I just love my career) so I'm really really grateful that we've been able to find great people to help round out his life & social experiences so far!

[MovnMama]

Originally Posted by t2009 

Thank you for this thread! I have two things:

Every afternoon he goes around the house saying his playmate's name (with whom he shares a nanny) when he sees the chair she sits in to eat or a book she read or her pack-n-play. It's so cute. He loves her so much & I can just see he's thriving with her and with his nanny. It makes me really think that our little family is alright!

This morning, as I was leaving I heard DS banging on the window to get my attention. He was waving & happy. I looked up again to blow him a kiss & he was gone... Just too busy to spend so much time saying bye-bye to mama!

I know I would really stink as a SAHM (it's hard, too, and I just love my career) so I'm really really grateful that we've been able to find great people to help round out his life & social experiences so far!

This is me too. I'm just not the stay at home type. And I truly feel that the mama who is satisfied and fulfilled in her life is going to be a better mama that one who forces themselves into a role someone else says is "right."

And I feel this way for SAHMs too... their choices can be equally fraught with guilt and if they need to stay at home to be fulfilled, then I hope they can. Working mom-hood is not for everyone, just like SAHM-hood is not for everyone. There is an awesome spectrum to the career paths chosen by moms, and I'm grateful for that too!
 

[colleen2851]

I love what I do and need to have a career! Like PPs, I think I'd lose my mind if I were a SAHM. I'm lucky to be a WAHM so some of the housework can be done during lunchtime so I don't need to do it at night. (Though, I miss my coworkers, but that's what iChat and the occasional visit to MDC are for!)

And I love that DD has her own "thing". She's having these experiences on her own at daycare ("school"), is learning so much and having so much fun with her friends there.

[sparklett]

Nice thread.  I was a SAHM for the first 11 months, then was a WAHM for  just over a year, then off for 8 months.  Now I'm a working mom again and I really love it.  DH is in grad school and is a SAHD and I gotta admit that he is a better SAHP than I was.  House is spotless, good food on the table, and DS is endlessly occupied.  With my current position, I feel like we have some good balance- I make my own hours so I can observe at preschool, attend field trips, and still do my job.  I love feeling challenged in the workplace and like I'm valued as a professional.  There's definitely some good balance happening here.  I love being able to give DH a rest on Sundays, which is when DS and I go out on a "date" together.  It's great to be able to meet DS and DH at the park after work.   

Next year we plan on having another baby and I will be staying home for 4-5 years to do my PhD.  It'll be interesting to see how that kind of arrangement works out.

Overall though, we're are at pretty happy time in our lives.