Hubby now says he wants a "jr" if it's a boy!

[JFTB1177]

I DON'T!!!!! No offense to my DH, but his name is soooooo common, and besides I want our child to have his/her OWN name, kwim? I thought we had 100% agreed on our boys name, and lately DH has been making little jokes about how he wants a boy baby to be named after him and even calling the baby "hubby's name, jr"!! He's not being super pushy about it but I thought I made it clear I am NOT a fan of "juniors". I mean I won't name a daughter of ours after myself! And again, I thought we both really liked the boys name we chose so this is just throwing me off. And lastly, we have 2 boys already and IF we were to do a junior shouldn't the first born be the junior? There are just so many reason I don't want to name our child DH's name. And- bottom line- just not a fan of DH's name although that part I would never tell him b/c I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, you know?

Advice?

[nova22]

A friend of mine named her 7th child (3rd boy) after her husband. She hates his name so she calls him something else (e.g. husband's name is William; baby's official name is William but everyone calls him Will...for the sake of privacy I won't give real names but that's what they did).

We have seriously considered naming this baby after DH if it is a boy, but in the end we couldn't bring ourselves to do it. I know a lot of people love having that namesake but after working in a job that involves lots of registration forms and parent contacts, it can get confusing.

[NaturalMama311]

Originally Posted by nova22

I know a lot of people love having that namesake but after working in a job that involves lots of registration forms and parent contacts, it can get confusing.

Not only can it get confusing but it can affect your credit and other stuff too. My Dad is a junior and constantly had to keep a close eye on his credit reports because things were always showing up on is credit that belonged to his Dad.

[Calee]

my sister and her husband had picked out a boy's name. Boy was born, and in the hospital, her DH confided in my mom that he really wanted a junior, but was afraid my sister would be upset. Mom encouraged him to talk to her about it since it was important to him.....

He did, and it surprised my sister, but she agreed. His name is VERY VERY common, but it was a very important thing to him. The son is now nine, and I can't imagine him being called anything else, and he really loves having the same name as his dad. They do call him by the actual same name, but there are many options for nicknames. You can shorten the actual name, use the middle name, or come up with something totally different! (I know Juniors that have been called by their initials, I know a "Trey", Chase, Champ, Buddy, all of whom are juniors, but their parents picked a nickname they liked to refer to them as)

All that to say, I think that having a junior can be important to some guys, and he may not have said anything before because he was afraid of your response. I would, personally, take some time to really think on it and consider it and see if there is a way to make it work for your family....

[JFTB1177]

Originally Posted by nova22

I know a lot of people love having that namesake but after working in a job that involves lots of registration forms and parent contacts, it can get confusing.

This is SO true and I'm going to remember that when he brings it up again, thanks!!

[MyFullHouse]

Woah! Deja vu!
I just went through this a few months ago. And 4 years ago!

The only thing that got through to dh was, eventually, my tears. In all fairness, it probably hurt him just as much as doing it would have hurt me, but he didn't cry.

While I do genuinely feel bad for crushing him, I know he does like the name(s) we eventually chose, and his bruised ego won't last (and hasn't lasted) anywhere near the lifetime I would have had to use a name I didn't want at all.

[sonshine_rae]

We didn't want a junior.. but my DH still kind of liked the idea of them being named after him...

So far we've just used middle names, first child has DH's first name as a middle name, 2nd child has DH's middle name as a middle name. Third boy we got desperate and gave him my first name as a middle LOL! 4th child is still in a huge debate especially since we won't know the gender till birth ha..!

[WifeofAnt]

I had one worse. My ex wanted a 'the 4th'. He can't even stand his name and wanted to name a future son after him!

My grandfather, father, and brother all have the same name. Instead of making Jrs though they decided to change the middle name. Its a paperwork mess. Mental health records, prescription medications, credit mistakes, an arrest warrant, ect.

Could you comprimise and make his name the baby's middle name?

[philomom]

DDDC to say that I loathe juniors. My dad and brother share the exact same name and they are always getting each other's mail in the same town. My brother doesn't think its funny to get that AARP magazine in his mailbox when he's just 30.

I married a Jewish guy.. they don't believe in juniors. I strongly believe each child should get their own name and their own identity... not be like my little brother who has been "little Charlie" all his life.

[Jenne]

Way out of the box here...who says a junior has to have the same name as senior? why not do the name you agreed on and tack junior on the end? dh gets his junior, you get the agreed on name, kiddo gets a plethora of choices for what to be called...

or you could keep the first name you agreed on and give kiddo one of dh's names as a middlename...

Jenne

(typing one handed whilst holding a sleeping baby.)

[camprunner]

To me it would come down to respect for DH. I love mine and would try very hard to accommodate the request. It might come in the form of "Ok, BUT I like this particular nickname best..." but I would accommodate. Does your dh ask for a lot? Is he controlling of everything? Relationships are about compromise and really names tend to grow on you.

[hannybanany]

Ah, yes. My DH is a Jr, and wants a "third". No, no, no! He has a very common name, he and his dad already use the nicknames for the name, and I hate the middle name. I told DH that if we have a son we can use his name as the middle name. That's as far as I'm willing to compromise.

[kawa kamuri]

both my dp and his brother are named after their fathers. they both go by middle name. i'm not a fan, either. i would never do that to my son.

[FarrenSquare]

Psh, they already get the man's last name - why do they get full control over the first name, too? If DP wanted our baby to share his first name, then it would definitely be holding my last name!

[kawa kamuri]

Originally Posted by FarrenSquare

Psh, they already get the man's last name - why do they get full control over the first name, too? If DP wanted our baby to share his first name, then it would definitely be holding my last name!

mine have both surnames - his and then mine, no hyphen.

[JFTB1177]

Originally Posted by camprunner

Does your dh ask for a lot? Is he controlling of everything? .

No and no. But we have always agreed that we would both agree on the name. Granted, I basically named our first two kids, but he was totally able to veto any name he didn't like (and he did tell me which names he did NOT approve of). He's not being pushy about the "jr" thing at all but has been bringing it up more and more... the thing that really bothers me too is that we had already picked a boys name that (I thought) we had 100% agreed upon!
I just don't want to name my son my DH's name, I don't. I feel bad but I wouldn't force a name that DH didn't want.

ETA: A problem with using DH's name as a middle name is that all of our kids' names start with the same letter. Mine and DH's name also start with that letter, so it wouldn't sound right.

[WifeofAnt]

Oh, and argument I heard a while back. The thought of calling out your DH/son's name during sex... *shiver*

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by JFTB1177

But we have always agreed that we would both agree on the name. Granted, I basically named our first two kids, but he was totally able to veto any name he didn't like

Yes, I do think both parents should agree on the name, so that means either parent has "veto power." That only seems reasonable to me.

& like another poster said, baby already gets the Dad's last name!

Did you bring up the hassle with mistaken identity? That's a practical thing to consider, aside from all the other reasons (it being a common name - and I too dislike both names that are modern trendy common & traditional boring common & the issue of baby having his own identity, needing an actual "Name" to be called to differentiate. While it may be cute to call a little kid, "Billy" or "Johnny"- such juvenile names aren't so cool as a teen & adult, so that's still a problem.

If you want to name baby AFTER someone, maybe look to your parents or grandparents? My son is named after my Grandfather & we're looking to pick a middle name after DH's Mom for our DD due in March. (Wow, first time I ever typed "DD"! ears)

We also picked a middle name for our DS that was after a famous computer scientist who also had a role helping the allies win WWII. It sounds great with his first name, but I like that it also has meaning & he's named after another admirable man. & it alleviates the problem of naming him after one of us.

[dakotablue]

I had this problem with Dh. Very common name...like been in the top 100 for like 100 years.

Honestly, I came to the conclusion that I had to let Dh have this if he wanted it. He is named after his father (different middle name) and I think it was kinda expected. I let him chose the name and he chose to name our DS after my grandfather. If he had chosen different I would have called him by his middle name. My grandfather went by his middle name BTW since there were others of his name (none alive now)

If this hasn't been a lifelong want, then I'd consider talking him out of it. Otherwise, I don't feel right taking that away from him, just as he wouldn't take away my dream of one day naming my son after my grandfather (we plan on having a lot of kids so assumption on more than one boy)


Oh and mistaken identity When Dh and I got married he went on my car insurance. When he called to cancel his they asked if he also wanted to cancel his life insurance policy. Dh didn't have one . They had canceled his dad's insurance. Plus side, his dad bought him a car when he was a teen and when Dh wanted it in his name it already was FIL just gave him the deed.

[allisonrose]

My hubby goes into this as well. He's kind of a jr: his father's first name is his middle name and everyone calls him by that name (no one calls him by his first name). So then our son would kind of, sort of be a third. I told him no for our first son. Now we're expecting our second son so the issue came up again. Hubby's justification for naming the second one after him: to avoid middle child syndrome if we decide to have a third child. I said no again.