Will NOT get ready in the morning, at my wits end - Page 2

[Awaken]

OP here- thanks everyone for the input NellieKatz, I want to respond to your PM! thank you!

His brain definitely functions differently than most people. I dont think it's ADHD but he definitely has processing issues. We have been through the whole therapy routine since he was a toddler. Never tried medication but have been on the verge of dong so numerous times. Honestly none of the therapies has been helpful and time and time again we realize that the most effective thing is for me and my dh to figure out what to do since we know him best.

Ok
-I can see that he will not be allowed to play or wander away until he's totally ready to go, only if there is extra time.

-I can see we will have to stand right there and make him to what he needs to. As much as I've been trying to shift reasonable responsibilities to them and not baby them and take it all on myself, obviously he is incapable of it so needs the extra support. Leaving it to him is just frustrating everyone.

-Today as his handwriting assignment he wrote a list of what he needs to do in the morning and will post it to refer to.

- the timer idea is a good one. I think my iphone has one, I'll have to check on that.

-I have no problem with him sleeping/wearing sweats or other pajama clothes, he usually gets hot and night and takes them off so still has to get dressed in the am.

-I'm a stickler for dental care but I can see maybe I'll have to let toothbrushing slide once in a while if we really need to get somewhere

-I'm just one of those people who HAS to be on time. Being late stresses me out big time. I don't know where that comes from. So I usually am in a frenzy if we are late and have zero patience. As usual, with this situation, I feel sicker over my own freaking out than his dawdling.

Originally Posted by hakeber

(I understand this. DS had a cavity and I wish it would make him brush his teeth but a friend of his has a gold tooth "like a priate" and he is trying to get one too.) I do this with DS and sometimes have to finish the job.

he he he, this is cute!

[NellieKatz]

Again, today, my DS was lagging in getting ready. I said "the timer helps you; should I set it again?" He said "No, I don't need it." and ran off to get dressed. I think it was (a) a matter of focus and (b) his growing sense that he can get it done. Sort of a sense of pride. I bet that my nagging makes him feel inept, but knowing he can "beat the clock" may feel good to him. I've heard more than once that 7-8 is a time of change for kids; from little kids to big kids, taking on more, needing to be trusted & all that.

It's wonderful when HE teaches ME. :-) The trick is being smart enough to watch and listen for those lessons.

[pregnant@40]

edited

[mamaduck]

Your husband's strategy of doing it for him is not a terrible idea.  The choice is basically, "Do you want to dress yourself, or do you want me to help you with it?"   The message is that its going to happen, one way or another, and there is no use turning into a drama.