Has anyone changed their baby's name? happy UPDATE in post 25!

[JessieBird]

(Not sure where to post this so xposted in Parenting and Life with a Babe.)

I'm going through a really difficult time right now. My new baby boy is absolutely wonderful, easy and happy, and the family adjustment with an almost-two year old has gone much better than expected. However, I'm just not connecting with my baby's name and it is interfering with bonding with him. It is an extremely emotional situation, though I never would have expected that. It doesn't help that reaction to our choice has been more negative than positive. DH and I are seriously considering changing his name and have given ourselves this weekend to make a final decision. Baby is 5.5 weeks old and has been announced to the world. I am dreading how awkward it will be to tell everyone and I'm not sure how I will ever know for sure that we are making the right decision, those are just two of my fears on a long list.

I would love to hear from others who changed their baby's name. I'd especially like to know about your feelings throughout the decision process and how people responded when you told them. I'm also curious about your reasons but that's secondary.

Thanks very much for any advice and insights you care to share.

[toughcookie]

forgive me for posting, since i didn't change my babe's name, but i just needed to respond.

you know, if it's really not working for you guys, you need to do something. especially if it's interfering with your bonding. recall instances in your life (i have these by the handful, i assume others do as well) when you waited to do something painful and then afterward said, "why didn't i do that sooner"? or, "why was that so hard, when it was so necessary"?

the baby's not going to know that you changed his name. not 'til he's a teen or older, at which time he'll probably be thinking, "thank goodness, if they hated it, i would've too". he'll just know that all of a sudden he has a loving-er mom and dad that love to coo his name to him.

stop thinking about people judging you so harshly. first: this about you and your partner and son, and this IS an important issue to get through. second: there are tasteful ways to do this: just order (or make) some inexpensive announcements of the name change, with a current photo (not newborn) of your son. you can say something simple like, ".....we celebrate in the re-naming of our son, born xxxx to joyous parents...." and then have his new name in large letters at the top of the announcement.

i guess i'm just trying to say, you know you need to do this. do it now, while it's easiest.

good luck.

[neonalee]

I agree with toughcookie. As for me, I've considered it, it's definitely not my first choice, but I don't hate my DS's name and it was the only one DP and I agreed on, so it stays.

[Lauren31]

Does he have a middle name you can call him instead that you like a bit better? I had a friend growing up named Erika Paige who went by Paige for this very reason.

[Terrilein]

ETA with Lauren. Friends of mine - a French/German couple - gave their baby a French first name and German middle name Eve Marlies. Well, everyone mispronounced the firstname so they started calling their baby by the middle name. They were disappointed, but their baby still has the much-loved first name.

[hakeber]

FWIW, Asa is a lovely name, but if you want to change it, go for it. He won't mind.

[Eresh]

I hear your dilemma. We ended up deciding on DS2's name when we took him in to the hospital after his birth ... not how we wanted to decide. We have adjusted to the name in spite of the naming circumstances though.

Anyhow ... check out this blog on Namer's Remorse. Maybe it will help you.

http://www.babynamewizard.com/archiv...namers-remorse

ETA: .. just noticed my DS2 shares the same birthday with your boy!

[hakeber]

If people ask just pretend you don't know what they're talking about.

"What? Asa? That's a weird name. Why would ever name him that?! His name is _____________. Pass the bean dip, please."

KWIM?

I seriously thought about naming my son Samuel instead of Benjamin, but within a few weeks it seemed like a crazy idea.

And I really do LOVE the name Asa.

[megapeg]

Change your baby's name, and send around a note (via email or on a baby announcement) that says:

"When our baby was born, he sure seemed like an Asa Odie, but after a few weeks, we realized that he's clearly an Odie James! We're sure you'll agree when you meet him. Thanks for understanding!"

And let that be that.

(Credit due to the Baby Name Wizard)

[Snapdragon]

I think it is so much better to do it now and people will be used to it really soon and it will blow over. Much more important that you like the name than what other people think, anyway. I have friends who struggled w- this and didn't change the name and yrs later they still grapple with not liking the name!
I changed my baby's name at 7 months! Part of it was just not sitting right with me- so I got it legally changed. NOw I feel relief- it wasn't a big deal and we actually thought about doing it for months but waited until we were really sure. we are happy about it. As for feelings, I never felt really concerned with what others thought- I just realized that it takes a while sometimes to know if the baby's name is right- and if it isn't, better to change it now than when they are older.

[Peony]

I changed a child's name at age 4, believe me, it is much easier to do it now! Short version of our story is that I loved one name, Dh would only agree to another version, I finally agreed, and that was DD1's name. It never was quite right to me but I lived with it. When she was 4, she decided that her name was not her real name, but that the original name I had loved was. All on her own. Apparently it was meant to be. It took a while but she is 7 now and everyone calls her by her new, legal name.

[BunnySlippers]

Originally Posted by megapeg

Change your baby's name, and send around a note (via email or on a baby announcement) that says:

"When our baby was born, he sure seemed like an Asa Odie, but after a few weeks, we realized that he's clearly an Odie James! We're sure you'll agree when you meet him. Thanks for understanding!"

And let that be that.

(Credit due to the Baby Name Wizard)

I totally agree.

Do what feels right

[philomom]

I adore the name Asa because of Asa Candler but if you really feel it is not your kid's name after all....


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asa_Griggs_Candler

[Kuba'sMama]

Well, I never changed my ds' name, but I wanted to all first year. I had to respond because your post brought up all those memories of the first year where i COULD NOT call him by his name. It made me feel like I made a horrible mistake. I had so wished I had gone with my second choice, but dh really loved this name and so...
FWIW, in the second year, as he became more of a person the name really grew on me! (It's Jacob BTW). I guess he didn't seem like a baby Jacob, but a little boy Jacob, lol.
Now I can't imagine him being called anything else. But now, he's upset because we never gave him a middle name, and his sisters both have one.
Oh well... he was the first one, I guess we could've messed up more than that. It seems awkward now to add a middle name, now that he has opinions and thinks Skywalker is a good middle name...
Anyway, what I'm saying--feel free to change it if you really hate it... make sure you're 100% sure though!

[mamadebug]

I didn't change my baby's name, either, but know people who have done it.

One baby (a girl) was given a first name that is typically a boy's name and a very feminine middle name. For her first couple of months, they mostly called her by her first name, sometimes her middle name, sometimes both names together. Around 2 months, the decided on using just the middle name. It totally fits her. The original first name wouldn't suit her.

Another family did a similar thing - got rid of the first first name, and then hyphenated the middle name with another name and used that as her first name. That was around 3 months or so.

Someone else I know changed their child's name when she was almost 2 years old. That seemed a bit odd to me because she clearly knew her name at that point, and it wasn't something that the child had come up with or anything like that. The mom just decided it wasn't right anymore.

Anyways, he is so little and doesn't know his name yet - I say change it if you want!

[elus0814]

This happened to me as a child. I was an infant and obviously don't remember my first name but growing up I always confused as to why I had baby blankets around with someone else's name on them. After it was explained to me I felt really funny about it for a long time. Now, as an adult, I can understand but I still like what was my name and wonder why they changed it since it would have fit me nicely. My first first name was kept as a second middle name so at least I still have it.

I guess you have to ask yourself if you are ok with the possibility of your child taking issue with it later. The other option is to simply never tell them and ask others not to tell them but that could be a difficult secret to keep and it would be awful for it to slip out.

[lunarlady]

As a teacher, I can tell you at least a quarter of kids go by a name that is not their first name, and of those about half go by something that is not their middle name either. And I don't mean nicknames. I mean totally different names. So you should call your kid whatever you want. You can legally add it to his name when he's older, if you want to.

[akind1]

Even though we had a hospital birth, we refused to officially name our son before discharge. we got flak from the nursing staff but were assured we had a year to make it official. We didn't change his name, but we did want the ability to keep our options open.

FWIW, I rarely call him by his name, but sure that will change as he gets older. He has been Bubba, Muchkin, Pumpkin, Pumpkin-Butt, Bobblehead, and Peanut (depending on who is talking to him )

I say go ahead and change it now. Names are very personal things and if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

[dakotablue]

I haven't been there, but I know a few people who felt this way and didn't change the names. It sounds wierd but the regret it. One is a 2 1/2 year old and the mom just flat out said "I don't like x's name." The other is my aunt, my cousins are in their 30's and when DS was born she told me how much she hated that she named her twins what she did. Its gotta mess with their heads a bit I think. I'd be so sad if my mom said she hated my name.

He's so young. I think if your going to do it do it now. Also, you've gotten to know him and if he asked say "just say that name didn't fit you you are X. "

Its not common, but its not wrong.

Originally Posted by hakeber

I seriously thought about naming my son Samuel instead of Benjamin, but within a few weeks it seemed like a crazy idea.

Those are the two boys name we have picked out

[livelovelaugh]

Odie is adorable! Are you considering calling him that? If so, you wouldn't need to change the name! If you like something else altogether, change it or just start calling him that. So many kids get names entirely different than their given name just because of sibling nicknames and mispronunciations, etc.! Good luck!