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Another child took my DD's toy at the bank and his mother refused to make him give it back - Page 3

post #41 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
I was so glad to get to the part where you took the car back.
ME TOO! Way to go mama!
post #42 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdnaMarie View Post
Not a bad idea, considering that this can happen! I had never even imagined it as a possibility.
I wouldn't have imagined this specifically, but I have had kids at the playground swear something is theirs and their parent says after "He/she has one just like it at home!" Which you know, is often true, but they can't remember if they left theirs at home or not.

I know my kids have said "That's my ball!" at the playground, not maliciously, but because they do have a ball just like it and they think they must have left it there last time we were there. This way I can also know and say "Actually, yours has your name on it, so that one is not yours. Yours is at home."
post #43 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
I wanted to add that NYC is the only place in the United States I have experienced personally where people do shout obscenities at strangers.
I've lived almost all of my life in NYC and I have shouted obscenities at strangers.
post #44 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post
a 5 or 6 year old doesn't even want an elmo car trinket. that boy obviously enjoys taking things from children much littler than he is, and then lying about it with his mom.

that you took it out of his hand for your daughter.
I think it is good the OP got the toy back, but a child who looks 5 or 6 can still be 2 to 4. People usually assume my dd is several years older than she actually is and that has been going on for years because she is tall and has an excellent vocabulary. Even if he was 5 I still don't think that we should assume this child enjoys taking things from kids who are littler, not only because it sounds like the OP's son handed him the toy but also because kids that age really don't think about other people that much when it comes to things they really want. At that age he was probably more focused on really wanting the car and figuring out how to keep something he thought was given to him, not on whether lying is morally okay. Also, my dd loves Elmo still and she is almost 8. She was still watching the Elmo movies at five and six and loving them.
post #45 of 80
Good for you for taking it back. That's one of the most bizarre reactions I've read in a while (on the part of the other mom I mean).
post #46 of 80
I wouldn't assume any intentions on the part of the kid. He could have a million reasons, including that he was bored and it looked interesting. (Which sounds most likely to me, personally.) But he's at an age where taking stuff and stealing still happens. My issue is with the mom, because gently and cheerfully taking it away and saying, "Oh, this belongs to her. Let's give it back now!" would teach him not to take stuff, but backing him up after he's obviously taken something is teaching him it's OK to take stuff. I find it hard to believe she didn't know it wasn't his and that he hadn't taken it with him.
post #47 of 80
Quote:
I wouldn't have imagined this specifically, but I have had kids at the playground swear something is theirs and their parent says after "He/she has one just like it at home!" Which you know, is often true, but they can't remember if they left theirs at home or not.
We live on a military post in a remote town, and this happens *all the time* here. The toddlers get so upset because they really believe their toy is being stolen. DD2 once had a total melt-down because she thought someone else had her special dolly. I felt so sad I actually drove home to get her the doll (since I had someone else that could watch her). y

However, I've never once seen a parent just... blithely dismiss the other parent! Usually they gently explain the situation and tell them to give it back and that they'll get their own at home.
post #48 of 80
That's outrageous! Not making excuses, but appointments at the bank can be *very* stressful. Let's hope it was just a bad moment for the mom of that little boy.

I would be shaking in my boots in that situation. OP you are so good to your DD to get her Elmo car back!
post #49 of 80
Wow! Some people, huh?
post #50 of 80
While I don't condone what this mom did or didn't do, or what the child did or didn't do, I can see a really bad potential outcome from such a situation.

I don't think I would have physically touched the other child. You never know what a person is going to do now days.

I know I would have flipped out if some adult had snatched a toy from my child's hands (I totally would have given the toy back, but just saying).

I am kinda surprised by all those here saying how good it was to be done. Especially after the other thread, just the other day, about strangers acosting someone in the subway.

But, that is just me.

I am not usually a confrontational person, and would not likely take any chances.
post #51 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
I noticed the OP was in New York..... I wanted to add that NYC is the only place in the United States I have experienced personally where people do shout obscenities at strangers. And I have traveled a good bit around the continental United States.
I live near Chicago and I've seen it happen here. Occasionally strangers shout foul names at me from their cars because of what they assume my sexual orientation is. And then there was the lady who not only cursed up a storm, but threatened to shoot another passenger because they very politely requested she move her luggage out of an otherwise empty booth, on a full train, so that their family could sit down.
post #52 of 80
Bizare! Just one of the strangest WTF other MOM moments! Good for you OP- seems you handled yourself beautifuly!
post #53 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
While I don't condone what this mom did or didn't do, or what the child did or didn't do, I can see a really bad potential outcome from such a situation.

I don't think I would have physically touched the other child. You never know what a person is going to do now days.

I know I would have flipped out if some adult had snatched a toy from my child's hands (I totally would have given the toy back, but just saying).

I am kinda surprised by all those here saying how good it was to be done. Especially after the other thread, just the other day, about strangers acosting someone in the subway.

But, that is just me.

I am not usually a confrontational person, and would not likely take any chances.
If you steal something, it might get taken back, and that goes for children too. It doesn't sound like she yelled at the child or got mean with the child, she just took the toy back. She certainly didn't accost the child.
post #54 of 80
Wow, is that mom in for some big surprises as her son gets older! Already stealing toys from little kids and then ready with a lie immediately upon being questioned. Yikes!

So happy you handled it so decisively without resorting to her name calling. Not sure I could have been so graceful. I agree with the other posters, I know every toy my child has and I certainly know what toys he brings into a store or bank.
post #55 of 80
Another thing is that you have to think about the message you're sending to your own child. In this case, the OP taught her dd that she would back her dd up and make sure people don't steal from her if it's within her power to do something about it. I think her dd could have lost some level of confidence in her ability to help her when someone does something wrong to her if she hadn't taken the car back.
post #56 of 80
Yeah, definetly OK to take something back that was stolen/attempted to be stolen from you. Absolutely. Stealing is *NOT* ok. Nor is lieing about it. And if I *KNEW* that something was ds1/ds2's and another kid attempted to claim it? I'd totally do the same. "sorry kid, but lying/stealing is *NOT* OK, thats *OURS*"
post #57 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
I am not usually a confrontational person, and would not likely take any chances.
The other choice was to lay down and let this woman and her lying child walk all over the OP and her child. I don't teach my kids to pick fights, but I do teach them to stand up for themselves.
post #58 of 80
I don't think taking back the toy is confrontational! It's YOUR TOY! She didn't punish, she didn't engage, she didn't yell, she just took it back.

That is totally acceptable.
post #59 of 80
I would have done what you did. I am glad you took the toy back.
post #60 of 80
BTW, the woman knew her child was a thief. She never saw that toy before and now suddenly, she is in public with him and he has it. She is as much of a thief as he is. I maybe would have said something back to about what a thief she is to allow her little boy to steal like that, and I would have called her a bad mother too. You are in a bank. If anything gets called to question, there are security cameras.
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