Email I want to send to Son's teacher (but won't)

[JollyGG]

I give up.

The fact that his current Math group is inappropriate for him is so clearly obvious to his father and I that we can't image that you don't see the same thing. You obviously spend time talking about T, but his father and I actually spend time talking TO him. I'm tired of beating my head against a wall trying to get you to see that you are hurting more than you are helping. He is feeling less successful and more stress being made to repeat materials. The solution you have to his issues of focus and inconsistent work are making the problems worse not better and you don't see it.

So I give up. I give T permission to give up as well. I plan to let him know that his current Math group is his math group for the foreseeable future. There is nothing he can do to change that fact. I'll let him know that he can't win. From here forward he can put as much or as little work as he wants into Math on any given day.

Maybe the freedom from the pressure to do well so someone will recognize he can do more, will free him and he'll soar. Maybe he'll just coast along. Maybe he'll chose to daydream, fail to turn in work, etc. But it doesn't matter which he chooses. It's not like he's learning anything new anyway. If he chooses to "check out" I'm going to let him because at this point he hasn't been given very many better options.

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There we go. Now I got that out and I can write a more constructive response to his teacher who says he can't move back to the higher math group because he only got an 80% on the chapter test and he started crying during the timed multiplication fact test from frustration with his whole situation.

[ryleeee]

couldn't read and not respond. poor little guy
<3

[Mackenzie]

That sounds like I would type out (and HOPEFULLY not send... ) That has GOT to be frustrating...

[JollyGG]

No, I didn't send it. I wrote something more constructive, or at least less bitter sounding. I still don't think it will do much, but for now I'm still trying to work with the school and get issues resolved.

But it did make me feel better to get it all out.

Anyone else want to write up their own email they will never actually send to their kids school feel free.

[JollyGG]

This is what I actually wrote back:

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Has anyone spoken to him directly about what is going on?

I have seen a lot of frustration coming from him this week concerning Math. He is very frustrated repeating the same materials and feels that he has to do everything 100% perfect to have any chance of being moved to a more interesting group which puts even more stress on him. (no wonder he feels this way since the guidelines that we were given and did share with him basically said as much). So a simple mistake writing a question down wrong or forgetting a $ sign has him very upset and when asked what is wrong he will tell us how stupid he feels because he knows how to do this but still makes mistakes. But in almost all of the cases they are not errors on the concepts being taught.

Were his mistakes bringing him down to 80% mistakes on the concepts being covered or where they careless errors?

I invite you to speak with him about how HE feels about math.

I understand that your goal is for him to feel successful, but the lower math group is clearly not accomplishing this goal. Have you seen more or less frustration from him after the change in Math groups? In his old Math group was he ever reduced to tears by his errors?

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Hubby says that considering what I wanted to write it was rather restrained, but he still thought it had a bit more bite than it probably should have.

[ChristaN]

So, did they move him from a higher math grouping to a lower one to reduce frustration? Is there anyway to have him moved back if you agree that you don't hold them responsible for him potentially getting lower grades than they might like?

[LittleBattleAxe]

Not sure how things work at your school. If my attempts to work things out had been fruitless, I would come in before school started on a Monday morning (being prepared to wait) and ask to see the principal, I would state my intention to wait as long as necessary; I would thank the principal for meeting with me and state that as of today, my son needed to moved to a different math class, or I would be pulling him from his present math class every day to teach him myself. I would also give evidence of my attempts to solve the situation, and I would offer the caveat that the new math class would be a trial of 6 weeks, and if after that time he was not performing in accordance with the standards, he could be placed into the lower level class.

And I would stick by every single word, including showing up the next day at math time and pulling him (for an "appointment," if necessary), finding a quiet place, and working on math with him during that allotted time.

In general I have had few problems with the kids' school but there have been times when it has only been by levying demands that things have changed; left to their own devices they were not proactive, but reactive.

[JollyGG]

I'm not ready to pull him from Math just yet. But it's an option I have seriously considered. I'm willing to try and work things out to everyone's satisfaction for a little while yet. But I am seriously thinking that dispute the many wonderful things about this school, and there is a lot I do like, it may not be the best fit.

I'm just not sure what a good option would be otherwise. My husband and I both work full time, and my son is in many evening activities that he would be quite upset to loose to spend time on schooling making homeschooling a poor fit for my family right now. And of the schooling options this really is the best one right now.

I have some thoughts and things I can do if this schooling situation doesn't work in the back of my mind. But for the time being I'm really focused on trying to make what we have to work with work better.

Basically, I'm trying to practice patience. Though it's certainly, not my strongest virtue.

[straighthaircurly]

Dear Principal _____:

What are you thinking? No staff support for the 2nd grade team in math? Don't you realize the minds being wasted. There are children who have already completed the 2nd grade curriculum and some of 3rd grade. And you expecting them to sit quietly while the class spends 5 weeks getting through the 1st unit of 2nd grade. Seriously?! DS needs to spend 5 weeks reviewing problems like 1 + 0 = ___ 8 - 1 = ____ ?! Why have you put all the schools extra support resources in to the 3rd-5th graders and left everyone else out?

When the teachers approached you with solutions, you simply told them "No". What's up with that. I know of 2 families with gifted children from my son's 1st grade classroom last year that did not return this year because the school does not offer enough differentiation. We love this school for so many reasons, but if there is no improvement in what you allow teachers to do for gifted kids we will find ourselves shopping for a new school.

[JollyGG]

Originally Posted by straighthaircurly

Dear Principal _____:

What are you thinking? No staff support for the 2nd grade team in math? Don't you realize the minds being wasted. There are children who have already completed the 2nd grade curriculum and some of 3rd grade. And you expecting them to sit quietly while the class spends 5 weeks getting through the 1st unit of 2nd grade. Seriously?! DS needs to spend 5 weeks reviewing problems like 1 + 0 = ___ 8 - 1 = ____ ?! Why have you put all the schools extra support resources in to the 3rd-5th graders and left everyone else out?

When the teachers approached you with solutions, you simply told them "No". What's up with that. I know of 2 families with gifted children from my son's 1st grade classroom last year that did not return this year because the school does not offer enough differentiation. We love this school for so many reasons, but if there is no improvement in what you allow teachers to do for gifted kids we will find ourselves shopping for a new school.

So, did it help to get it out?