BFing, TTC and no PPAF yet @ 15 months - Page 2

[mamaharrison]

This is a great thread, mamas! Thanks for sharing all of your stories with me :)

We really want to be ready for another baby--we have been connecting with our spirit baby for a few months now and can't wait until the time is right. We aren't going to do anything either way~~~it is up to our daughter and her future sibling(s) to decide when the time is right :)

I do really struggle with the idea of a large (3 years) age gap between kiddos because I am 30 now and we really want 5 biological kids, but I also struggle with the idea of making any decisions that will put my nursing relationship at risk before my DD turns 2.

*sigh*

whatever will be will be.

[kismetbaby]

Ah, surrender, that's the hard part isn't it?!  Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading this thread. My LO is only 14m, but I am starting to feel anxious to know when my ferility will return. DH is ready for #2 right now. . .but I'm pretty concerned about DS loosing his milk supply before the age of two.  But jeez, I just wish I knew whether AF was on her way or wouldn't return till night weaning, or full weaning or whatever. I hate the uncertainly! Argh.  I don't think DS is ready for any sort of separation from his nursies though, so I suppose it's good that AF hasn't returned. 

I've been feeling this past week like I'm gearing up to ovulate again, but have no real idea if I will or not. . .I need to try and let go a bit. Anyway, thanks for all the ideas and support here!

[wembles]

We were ready to TTC when DS was 12 months, only I still hadn't had my first PPAF.  He was still nursing day and night.  When he was 15 months and still no sign of AF, I decided we would gradually night wean.  When he would wake in the night, my husband would go to him instead of us bringing him into bed with us to nurse.  I still nursed him to sleep at the start of the night, and again when he woke up in the morning.  After a month of that, we were down to only nursing upon waking (and during the day at will....).  My husband was a huge help in putting him to sleep, as well as going to him in the night when he would wake.  

I also started taking Maca daily.  I really think the Maca and night weaning worked for me--I started feeling crampy and bloated about a week after I started the Maca.  AF showed up 3 weeks later.  Yay!  After my first cycle, I started charted BBT and CM.  I also used the cheap internet ovulation tests.  I got pregnant when my son was 19 months old.  He fully weaned at 21 months old (my milk was almost gone, and it was SUPER painful for me, so I stopped offering....and he stopped asking).  It was much harder on me than him :)

Good luck!!

[juniper_mama]

I haven't had time to read all of the posts but I wanted to chime in with a couple points - sorry if any of it is redundant.

4. On KellyMom there's an article called Return To Fertility that states "any abrupt change in nursing is more likely to bring back fertility than a gradual change, regardless of nitght vs day nursing." So what would be an abrupt change? What if I tried to limit nursing to just nightime for one day only (like a fun family day with too many exciting distrations for DS to think about his boo boos)?

This was the case for me.  At 13 months I went back to work 2 days per week and at first I was expressing so DS could have milk while I was away.  But he didn't like to drink it from a cup or bottle so I stopped since I wasn't too uncomfortable for the eight hours I was away and bam, the first day I did that, my cycle resumed.  I knew it was coming because I'd seen the change to fertile quality cervical fluid for several months but it took that day of not nursing for my body to get over the hump.

I was just raving about this book in another post but I highly recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler as a terrific book on charting your cycles.  One of the best and most empowering books I've ever read.

[outaplacemama]

My 4 year old son was the result of IVF infertility treatments; genetic issues, I have trouble conceiving a pregnancy "compatible with life."  I got my PPAF when he was 14 months old; he was still BFing and was not night-weaned.  We were not TTC, as we knew that it would be unlikely given my genetic issues.  That being said, I got pregnant that very first cycle.  Talk about being blown away.  He's now 2 1/2 and I'm still in awe of my little miracle.  Sometimes, things are just bigger than us and all of our efforts to control them. 

[Kraysmommy]

Well, I have been TTC while nursing forever.  It's really hard not to get depressed.  When DS was 3 months old I got PPAF and it blew me away.  How could that have happended with constant BFing, no time away from baby, BWing, etc?  We tried until our 16th cycle while charting, temping, etc.  The 16th cycle was a success for us and now we have DD1.  We have been TTC since AF returned at 11MPP with her.  2 miscarriages later and here we are.  DS is almost 4, DD is almost 2, and we just keep getting period after period.  Acupuncture, chinese herbs, charting, and temping and we have no luck here.  She rarely nurses during the day, but does still nurse at night.  I have had PPAF since January '10 and two miscarriages...01/10 and 08/10.  I still won't wean DD who has severe food allergies but my heart cries out for one more.  I am almost 36 and DH is ready to quit.  He has no wanted to have another for quite some time but only did so to make me happy.  Now with the loses he is ready to be done.

I have long since quit replying to these threads, but here I am again.

Baby dust to you all!!! 

[Christalena]

This is such a great thread!  So much wisdom when women get together and share experiences, thank you all for sharing your experiences!

I first want to recommend the book Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Sheila Kippley.  I'm sure most of you have heard of it or read it, but I would recommend checking it out if you haven't yet.  I read it when I got my PPAF when my son was 4 months old - I was devastated, I felt like I was doing something wrong!  Her research in this area shows that the 7 standards that generally affect fertility with breastfeeding are 1. Breastfeed exclusively for the first six months of life; don’t use other liquids and solids, not even water. 2. Pacify or comfort your baby at your breasts. 3. Don’t use bottles and don’t use pacifiers. 4. Sleep with your baby for night feedings. 5. Sleep with your baby for a daily-nap feeding. 6. Nurse frequently day and night, and avoid schedules. 7. Avoid any practice that restricts nursing or separates you from your baby.

http://www.nfpandmore.org/The%20Seven%20Standards%20Summary.pdf

My DS did not have solids until 6 months of age, and certainly not water until much later; we were still nursing at least every three hours around the clock; we co-sleep and nursed-on-demand since night 1; I was laying down with him/nursing him and taking a nap once/day; he did occasionally have pacifiers, but we took them away once I read this, as she advises that that may bring back BFing amenorrhea, but it didn't change things with us, and he never had bottles; we never tried or encouraged a feeding schedule, the approximate every-3-hour around the clock was definitely set by him by this age, though I would nurse more often when he wanted; we were not separated from each other for longer than a half hour or so occasionally, except for once for a 2-hour period when he was 2 months old.

My hope in providing my experience is to perhaps help shed more light on some of your situations, as a sort-of "flip side" of the coin.

I do not believe that I ovulated with my first two menses.  My third cycle was very unusual for me: I had a 17-day period.  I have never gone more than 5 or 6 days with a period in almost 20 years of having them!  I do not chart, but I am pretty in tune with my body, am aware of mucus changes, and have a condition that causes ovulation to be mildly painful for me, so that I can feel when I am ovulating (due to harmless bleeding internally when I ovulate, I am even able to tell which side I am ovulating from.)  We conceived on this cycle.  We had discussed it in advance, deciding that we would let it happen if it did, and were OK with whatever timing God brought our way.  

My biggest concerns were: 1) Would our son (7 months at the time) be ready emotionally for a sibling only 16 months younger? 2) Would my body be too stressed to have pregnancies that close together? (Not a major concern, as I knew that millions of women ahead of me had done that and then some!) and my biggest concern was 3) Would my milk supply get too low or dry up altogether too early for my son's benefit?  I knew that my goal was to go at least 2 years BF if he didn't wean before, and even longer if it seemed beneficial to both of us.  However, I felt that since I could not know the answers to when the "best time" was for these, I would let nature take its course.

Adventures in Tandem Nursing was a great read and still is a reference for me, another highly recommended book!  My milk did start to dwindle around the time my son was 10 months old (about 3 months into PG), and I was so sad!  I really began to question the wisdom of our decision, to not try to prevent a pregnancy with NFP.  As it began to dry up, he began to lose interest, but I was determined to see that he had the chance to continue to nurse, so that he could make it to two years minimum if he wanted, and so that he and his sibling could experience sharing Mama with each other in this special way.  So, we continued to nurse.  There were a few days when I would offer multiple times and he would latch on, only to get off after a couple minutes.  (I know that 10 months is a common age for some to experience this, even with a full milk supply, and I was not taking it as a cue from him to wean.)  After a while, milk was dried up, but he would still nurse to sleep at night and before his nap.

Lately (I am "past" due, c'mon ANY TIME now, baby!! ) my son has begun to return to nursing with a vengeance!  Some have suggested that he can sense the change that is coming.  I just know that I am thankful we have maintained this special means of connecting, and that he will soon benefit again from Mama's milk!  Also, I know that the advantages of Tandem Nursing will be worth it, for all of us.  As some mentioned earlier though, dry nursing is NOT usually a pleasurable event!  Also, as the weather has gotten colder and the air dryer lately, it feels again like it did when we first started, almost 1 1/2 years ago, that grit-your-teeth-and-bear-it feeling for the first 10 seconds or so.  

It'll be fun to see what his reaction is when my milk comes back!  Although, if he decides for some reason that he does not like it, I will not push it.  I just don't imagine that will be his experience.

I know that it is the opposite situation of what was first asked about, and I promise I did not come on here to hijack the post in any way!  As I said, I offer my experience only for the benefit of hearing a variety of experiences on this topic.

My prayer is that each family would experience whatever is brought their way as a joy, and that in hindsight they can see that their timing turned out to be the best for them!

Blessings to you all.

[crazykittymomma]

 Great post! I'm 18 months PP with no PPAF yet. We've been TTC for 7 months now and I'm getting really frustrated! I took a round of vitex (one bottle worth, three capsules a day) and now I've moved on to progesterone cream (1/4 tsp rubbed on thin skin twice a day for two weeks, then break for two weeks, then back on) on advice of my midwife.

I'm not willing to wean my DD so I'm really hoping the progesterone works.

[luvbugs]

First of all, good luck and God bless you all! We were in the same predicament 3 years ago. My dd was 18 months still heavily breastfeeding and I was just at the point of starting to wean her so we could start clomid again. We needed that for me to ovulate for her. With only 4 periods a year at the most and rarely actually ovulating, luckily the clomid was all we needed. It was August and we planned to start weaning in September and start clomid in November. Sept came and I found out I was pg! We were all completely shocked, especially since I had had 2 periods total since dd birth. Dr was blown away. So I do believe that God will be there for you too! Luckily I didn't have to force dd to wean, she did it herself at about my 5th month. Then after ds was born and she saw him nursing, she asked for some. I let her nurse and surprisingly she said 'yuck!". But by then she was on to fresh greens being juiced for her every morning. Juiced kale and apples taste a wee bit different than breast milk apparently!

But I can't believe how many of my friends have had problems with secondary fertility. I swear it is the crap they put in the foods now a days. Bikram yoga also helped I believe. Any type of yoga to open the chi flow..

Good luck to you all, you all sound like beautiful parents!