Is co-sleeping for everyone? I wish it worked for us. DS is 10 months old.

[nabisco]

My DS slept in our bed for the first 8.5 months, at which point we reluctantly started putting him in the crib for the night. He sleeps much better now. He gets solid blocks of sleep and is generally well rested in the morning.

However, I believe in co-sleeping and want to bring him back into bed with us. Every time I try it, though, he seems unable to settle down (moves around in bed, reaches out to me, pulls my hair, gets too close to the edge, etc) and he is cranky and tired the next day. What's up with that?

It's starting to get cold and I want to bring him into bed again, fearing that I can't monitor the temperature in his room or crib. He is 10 months old now.

For those of you who co-sleep (past infancy), is this kind of movement the norm? How does it work for you? Are your LOs mobile in bed? Do they rest soundly? Perhaps I just don't have realistic expectations... but co-sleeping during infancy worked wonderfully. Is it possible that he has outgrown co-sleeping/bed-sharing?

[bluets]

for starters, we had a queen bed with a "snug tuck" bolster pillow along the length of the bed. i would alternate sides for night-time nursing (because of daycare, ds was a night-cycler).

gradually we moved (long story) to a futon on the floor (*). with ds now almost 6yr old, we're still mostly doing that, with his crib mattress beside our futon. (i guess we're getting a lot of use out of that crib mattress after all!).

8-10 months were VERY wiggly, especially during nursing. that's when i pretty much decided to restrict nursing to a dark room (our bedroom), lying down only, and i'd sandwich his legs between my legs. careful what you wish for.... ds now likes to snuggle with me in the middle of the night with his legs sandwiched between mine. *sigh*

i vaguely recall that it took quite some time to get a system that worked in that young toddler age.

once you got used to it, it will all change. again.

(*) we started with the bolster pillow on the regular bed. then at mobility, we got rid of the bedframe. then after a back injury, we got rid of the mattress/boxspring and moved a futon mattress into the bedroom.

[an_aurora]

My 15 month old is no longer co-sleeping. He sleeps much better/longer/more soundly in his crib and who am I to argue . We started with the crib for naptime and to put him to bed at night, and I'd pull him into bed when he fussed to eat. Now I'll pull him into bed and he'll lay on me and snuggle for a few minutes, but then will start fidgeting and flopping around like he can't get comfortable. Then I'll put him in his crib and he will sleep another 6-7 hours. It's great! I haven't had this much sleep in years!!

Neither of my girls ever fidgeted and flopped quite like he does. They both co-slept until about 2 and then moved to their own beds at their own speed. For awhile we had both girls in bed with us (1.5 yo and newborn/young infant) and it was a little cramped!

[lach]

Neither of my older kids like cosleeping as babies. My DD started liking it when she was maybe 18 months, and sleeps with us pretty often now. My DS has never made it through a night in our bed, no matter how hard we try, since he was a newborn. He totally needs his personal space.

[Teensy]

Ya know, if you poll adults you will find some who have trouble sleeping when their DPs are not home in bed with them, and others who sleep much better when they have the bed to themselves.

Being one of the later, I say, leave the child alone in his own bed. Is the crib in your room? If not, you could put it there if you would feel better about to monitor him.

But based on your description he is sleeping "much better" in the crib, so why wouldn't you let him rest in the place that best meets his needs?

[akind1]

DS is 11 1/2 months and like OP, he sleeps better and longer stretches in his crib, and so do I! the first few nights were rough (on me) because I missed him. But now it is great! If you want him closer, I would create a separate sleeping space for him in your room.

[VillageMom6]

I am a big believer in sleep solutions that make baby and parents happy. I'm also a big believer in "don't wake a sleeping baby". If your little one is sleeping well in a crib, hip, hip, hooray!

[cappuccinosmom]

What the others said.

Your baby just may be a personality that likes some space, and if he gets chilly, he'll wake up and holler for you.

Aside from temp. monitoring, at 10 months old what is it that you worry he'll be missing by sleeping in his own bed?

[Tattooed Hand]

We moved DD to her own little mattress pushed up next to the side of our mattress (all on the floor) and that is working great.

[nabisco]

Thank you. I guess I needed to hear that from people who also believe in co-sleeping. When we started sleeping separately, it was hard for me, because I loved co-sleeping and missed him and felt distant. I tried it in a desperate I'll-try-anything-to-get-him-to-sleep phase, and felt urged by friends/family who don't believe in co-sleeping, so I always wondered if I was doing the right thing. But most nights, he sleeps pretty well, so I guess we'll stick with it or some variation of our current arrangement. I may bring the crib back into our room for winter. Or we may put the mattresses down on the floor as other said. Thanks for all your ideas and advice!

[octobermom]

Huge cosleep advocate here but.... their is absoulutly nothing wrong with a baby who peacefully sleeps in their own space.. I have 2 children who have proven that fact..
Our first.. Started out in a bassinet co rooms but not cosleeping (it was dangerous don't ya know) but I soon discovered nursing in bed and started cosleeping it went really well till around ohh 3 months...
then shes wouldn't settle I wouldn't settle so I started side carring the crib I had the allusion of cosleeping but honestly we still slept "seperate" as she' wiggle over to her side..
by 8 months we had her toally back into her own crib (but co roomed)
by 11 months shes was in a toddler bed in our room perfectly capable of comming into our bed if shes wanted rarely did..
by 22 months shes decided she'd rather sleep in her own space in her own room..


Enter baby #2 a much more umm snuggly baby yet she has pretty much started out every night in her "crib" (fisher price NB rocker cradle and soon her regular crib) shes sleeps around 8-10 hours peacefully then wakes and we cosleep the rest of the night.. IF I try to cosleep with her from the start shes gets fussy and wont sleep..
She also takes one nap a day in her crib If I jsut try holding her ect shes jsut doesn't sleep as well but shes does cosleep for a mini nap in the afternoons..


Deanna

[Bebe's Mom]

I agree with the other posters. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. We coslept until 12 months and then transitioned DD into her crib, haven't looked back. She still comes into bed when she wakes up in the morning, around 5 a.m. Then we nurse until we get up. I am trying to cut down on that session...DD sleeps better in her crib and so do we now. I think cosleeping is great, but if a baby doesn't sleep well in your bed, it is a bit counterproductive. Babies who sleep are happy babies, regardless of where they sleep. Maybe when he gets older he will prefer your bed, and then you will be trying to get him out of it, LOL.