Having a hard time with DSS's AS special interests

[SilverLace]

My SS had AS and ADHD.

Anyone familiar with AS knows that "special interests" are areas of hyper-focus (sometimes fixation). I think of them like phases that we all go through but more amped up and sometimes odd in some way.

Anyway, when my SS was first diagnosed, his special interest was violence. This was very distressing for us (especially me). I'm a GD, non-violent kind of mama/person and here was this boy who only drew/played/talked about horrible, violent things.

I know some people think this behavior is normal in boys, or that is can be redirected.... but it is totally different in AS.

Now his special interest is being vegan. He is an underweight 11 year old who cannot safely prepare food for himself. In some ways I can respect where he is coming from... I was vegetarian for many years and we strive to have awareness about food at our house on a number of levels.

The irony is that as his mom's he eats "vegan" meaning super sugar-y processed cereal and at our house he doesn't want to eat eggs from our backyard chickens.

Anyway, tonight he got upset and told DH he was a "species-ist" for calling our cat an animal, insisting that "cats are people".

I guess I'm totally sure why I'm posting this... it is just really frustrating and it is really the only thing he will talk about. We have been encouraged to set limits about special interests, but when it comes to food he refused to eat, or if he won't talk otherwise it gets really difficult.

Anyone else with AS kids whose special interests are so out of ordinary (even for AS)?

[AllyRae]

What's weird is that out of several dozen kids on the spectrum that I know, at least half want to be vegetarians/vegans at some point because the thought of hurting an animal makes them upset. The way it was explained to me is that often times, children on the spectrum can understand/relate to animals before they can relate to people, and so many children on the spectrum develop a great love for animals. Of course, not every child on the spectrum does, but I've noticed that it's far more common than people realize.

Could you teach him to eat a healthy vegan diet? Obviously eggs aren't vegan. But you can teach him what a healthy vegan diet is...help him to prepare meals with beans/lentils/tofu/etc. Actually, of all of the "fixations", this is one that I'd encourage since it can be very healthy.

My DS (also on the spectrum) will eat meat, but he won't eat fish because he once had pet fish and now he gets upset if he sees fish on the dinner plate. We were watching a show on Vietnamese cooking, and they were cooking a whole fish and DS lost it...he couldn't stand knowing that fish was being cooked. At one point, he wanted to be vegan, but when I showed him what a healthy vegan diet consisted of, he didn't want anything to do with it (he hates eating veggies...apparently he didn't understand that vegans actually eat vegetables. : He thought he could get away with just eating fruit and crackers. Doh! )

Our rules about special interests are:

-They must not be harmful to self or others

-If they are healthy, we will assist him with those interests (in terms of diet, or exercise or a sport)

-If it's something media related (like star wars), he can have that as his interest, but we will put limits on it...he can't watch every episode of star wars every week.

-If it's something that's expensive, he will help use his money to feed the interest.

-If it involves something living, he better be visiting it at a zoo, because we will not house rodents/snakes/reptiles/tarantulas. :

-Other than that, he can have his special interest as long as he doesn't allow it to consume him 24 hours a day--he must be able to go to school and be involved with his family without his obsessions getting in the way (we were having huge issues with that before...we put limits on it, and now everyone's happier.)

[Linda on the move]

My DD went through a phase where her special interest was vampires. Drove me batty!

anyway, could you get the kid to eat nuts? they are vegan, healthy, and fattening. We also push the olive oil on our skinny child ( who is not our sn child). I think that healthy fats are the way to go.

Can you expand on his obsession by getting him involved in a group that he would like, such as PETA? Would he enjoy a trip to the library to research? Volunteering at an animal shelter? Learning to cook from a vegan cookbook?

The advice I've gotten is to start with the special interests, but try to move out a little from it.

sorry you are going through this.

[Kreeblim]

Edited by Kreeblim - 11/21/10 at 1:38pm