Making new parent friends

[Aufilia]

DH and I are in agreement that we need to make some efforts to make friends with some other parents with kids our kids' age. DH's new job seems to have lots of people around our age with young kids, and I've met a couple moms whose husbands work at his office in my moderated parent/baby group. So we figured, perfect -- I've met some moms I like, the dads probably have similar interests to DH (they work at a video game studio) -- we'll invite somebody over and.....

....and what? I'm stumped. What do you do with other parents? When I was young, my parents would have other parents over and they'd play bridge. Or we'd have a babysitter and they'd go off and do... something. Dinner and a movie? I have no idea.

What do YOU do with your parent-friends? Especially if they have young kids.

One complicating factor is that DS's bedtime takes over an hour, and it's no good putting him down awake, I have to rock him 'til he's asleep. I have no idea if he'd go down well for a babysitter because we've never had one.

[Bellabaz]

We have friends and thier kids over for dinner or lunch. They come over a bit early so kids can play and adults can chat or have a drink. Everyone eats, more play and talk. Plus everyone then leaves before bedtime. So solves that problem.

Once we know them better and if we have the interest in common we go hiking and picnicing together. Meet up at a playground and go for coffee or lunch. If its warm where you are have a barbeque. Go to a kids museum.

We don't do much adult with out kids time. Actually, I don't think we ever have since dd1 was born. We have gone out on our own just the two of us but I don't think we ever did anything with other adults only. So I have no advice on that end, especially if your kids sleep routine is complicated. For me I prefer doing things with kids also until we know the parents well enough to know we have some stuff in common. If you don't no biggie but its less awkward with kids around.

[jeslynn]

We usually go to the park, have a picnic with the kids, shopping at the mall, movie with the kids, etc. Just find out some common interests and what their kids like to do and find something in common!

[philomom]

Sunday brunch is what we used to do.

Picnics, too when the weather is nice. So much less clean up involved in case your house has a case of the messies.

[Aufilia]

Originally Posted by Bellabaz

So I have no advice on that end, especially if your kids sleep routine is complicated. For me I prefer doing things with kids also until we know the parents well enough to know we have some stuff in common. If you don't no biggie but its less awkward with kids around.

Our kids are 4 and 1, and the people I'm talking about have babies or young kids, too -- think 9-18 months. They all nap, and my youngest is ready for his bedtime routine at 5:30pm, so dinner is complicated if it's at home. And bedtime usually is 30 minutes of "prep" followed by 40-60 minutes of rocking and nursing, so I couldn't just sneak off from a dinner party to put the kiddo to bed.

Originally Posted by Crrrunchberrie

We usually go to the park, have a picnic with the kids, shopping at the mall, movie with the kids, etc. Just find out some common interests and what their kids like to do and find something in common!

The kids in question are all too young for movies or having common interests, aside from the park, which isn't a good choice for 6+ more months.

Originally Posted by philomom

Sunday brunch is what we used to do.

Picnics, too when the weather is nice. So much less clean up involved in case your house has a case of the messies.

Sunday brunch might be good. And picnics will be fun in better weather...

[crunchy_mommy]

Well would you be able to push bedtime back by an hour or two just for these relatively infrequent occasions? Or would that mess everything up? I can't imagine getting a kid ready for bed at 5:30pm lol but if you can be a little flexible with that, you'll have more options... otherwise, aim for a weekend lunch or something.

We rarely get together with parent friends (meaning couples, I do get together with other moms regularly!), but when we do we just have a simple dinner & sit around and chat. No need to make it complicated. Have everyone come over right after work for an early dinner (can even order out or something) & just get to know each other. I would invite just one or two families over at a time at first, so that your kids don't get overwhelmed and so that you can really get to know the other families.

You could also all head out to the zoo or a (kid-friendly) museum or whatever on the weekend. I personally would avoid movies at first because you won't be able to talk to them during the show & then they'll have to rush home for the kids so you won't get to really know them.

If you're thinking more of a 'parents night out' type of thing, just invite them out for dinner, or to some local event going on (comedy show, gallery opening, whatever you're into)... or just say, "Hey let's get together Friday night, anywhere you've been wanting to go?" and let them lead the way.

[dawncayden]

We had success with doing a weekly meal out with 2 other families. We would pick family friendly restaurants and usually meet for dinner around 5pm and stay until 7pm.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

We just hang out at home. However, most of the people were our friends pre-kid. But brunch, lunch, afternoon "playdate" type of thing. C'mon over for a drink and pizza on Saturday at noon. Or invite to a mutually enjoyable, kid-friendly thing, "We're going to the XYZ fest on Sat you want to come?" or "the kids love the local children's museum/zoo/bouncy place etc wanta go some time?"

[shanniesue2]

The parent's group at my church does a variety of things... there is a play group every Thursday midmorning (I work so I rarely get to go). Then one thursday/month they have a potluck and childcare is provided for the kids. Also, once a month there is the working parent's group in the evening during adult RE time after the Wednesday evening service. Childcare is also provided during that time and the parents just get together to talk about whatever is on our minds (we also always have wine at that meeting--we're UUs, what do you expect ) There are also playgroups for each individual age group... like we go fairly regularly to a "class of 2026" group. My church is very intentional about the parents building community with each other as well, so that as the kids are growing up, we know and trust the families that our kids are hanging out with... it's very "building a village" type mentality. And finally, once a month the parent's group also has a "Parent Irresponsibility Night" without the kids. Everyone is responsible for their own baby sitter and the parents all go out and do something fun. There has been a wine tasting night, there was a Luchadores festival at a local mexican restaurant, and this month there is a recipe exchange night (apparently an annual thing... I am new to the church).
I my church!

[rightkindofme]

Yesterday we hosted a game day. Folks came over and we played card/board games for a few hours. It ran 2-6 and was totally fun. The kids ranged in age from 2 months to 2.5. The kids mostly ran around doing their thing. There was always 1-2 parents tailing kids while the other grown ups played whichever game was currently happening.

[pianojazzgirl]

Well, we do all kind of different thing, but definitely just hanging out at someone's house is top of the list. We do brunch, lunch, dinner, have tea, whatever. The kids play and we hang out, eat something, have a drink, etc. It depends on what friends we're talking about too. We're friends with one couple who we often BBQ with (season permitting). We also have some friends we love to play board games with. We have friends who will regularly stop by in the afternoon, have a beer, and then we'll either order in dinner together or they'll leave before dinner.

What about inviting another couple over for brunch on the weekend? That way it doesn't interfere with your bedtime routine. Another fun thing to do is to have a potluck - it's gets everyone involved, yk?

I ask this without snarkiness, I promise... how do you deal with having bedtime starting at 5:30? Like, how do you do deal with doing activities and socializing? Sorry... honestly just curious - no offense meant at all. Our kids go to sleep around 8, and so we have to be home by 7:30 at the latest to make that happen, and I find that difficultly early a lot of times.

[Norasmomma]

Pizza party, bring toppings you do the dough-the older kids would enjoy it(my 4 year old loves making her own pizza). BBQ, Sunday brunch, lunch-we've done all these things. For us dinner is hard because our friend's with kids are super strict with naps and bedtime, us we just go with the flow. The day hang out is easier.

[berry987]

If you'd like adult-time only, invite a couple or two over for a dinner party. Have them get babysitters and you just put your DS to sleep and come down and join the party. We do this with our friends - and we switch off who's hosting. The nice thing about having people in your home versus going out to dinner is that there is more time to really talk and hang out. Sometimes evenings like this will go for 3-4 hours. Its never formal - just an easy meal and drinks. You might eventually have to get a babysitter so that you can go to someone else's house, but most babysitters don't mind rocking babies for hours on end! If you want to balance parenthood with a social life, your son will have to get used to babysitters at some point or another.