Talk to me about "princess" stuff - Page 2

[tjlucca]

My DD is 5 and we have avoided the Princess obsession thus far, in terms of commercialism. We have no Disney Princess anything, or any other commercial obsession, Dora, whatever else. We don't have TV in our house, haven't since DD was born. I am positive that we wouldn't have been able to avoid it otherwise. We spend time with like-minded parents who do the same (these connections took time and effort to make). DD does want something sparkly and shiny sometimes. When this happens, we go to the fabric store and pick out some stuff to make a skirt or dress or whatever, but she doesn't wear them often because we are very active and there is little one can climb in a frilly skirt.

DD asked me once (at Target) about the Disney Princesses, on a band aid box or something, as we don't go down the toy isles ( I usually buy toys on-line and then when they come in the mail, she is super excited and surprised), anyway, she asked " can I be like those ladies? can I have that?" I said " Sweetie, you are more than that, fluffy dresses are not what make you pretty. You are beautiful because you have a heart full of love and a smile that brightens our home and family, etc.. She accepted that and hasn't asked since. That was two years ago, I think.

Also, we unschool. I wouldn't even bother trying to avoid the Princess mania in public school.

[carmel23]

My DD has always *loved* fairy tales, and does love the idea of princesses. The thing is you don't have to let Disney own it, yk? We read stories about real princesses from all over the world. She likes to dress up in play silks as her "princess" dress. She pretends that her baby brother is a prince. :

If we go to a play cafe with dress up clothes that are disney princesses, it doesn't matter if she plays with them, to her it is just a beautiful dress. Her friends talk about the different princesses, but that is from another child, yk? Not the disney marketing. Her cousin has some disney dresses and they just dress up and make their own games, and stories.

Honestly, I think you can control how and to what depth the exposure is. If your child watches snow white does that mean you have to buy every princess thing, watch tv, etc? Of course not. You are the parent. You can let it in or not.

She knows that there are 'princess' merchandise, but we just don't buy it. But then we don't really buy toys except for birthday and Christmas...

It also helps to be a TV free home, and her school bans commercial characters as well... so her world isn't really made of princess this and that, except in her imagination. And our school *is* a public school. (public schools are not this monolithic thing where they're all the same)

[bodhitree]

So far my DD has no conception of princesses--she hasn't seen any of the Disney movies and we did veto all items of clothing with the word "princess" on them. My main issue with the princess thing is that it seems to me that one of the main effects of it can be to communicate to young girls very early on that their main job in life is to be a pretty princess. There are enough other places in our culture where they're going to get that message, so I'm going to try not to import it into my home more than necessary. There's nothing wrong with taking joy in self-adornment, but there is something wrong when so much energy goes into being "pretty" instead of all of the other possibilities for using our time and developing our potential as human beings. (Can you tell I was a women's studies major? ) I don't think the princess thing has to play out like that, but in many cases it does.

Another issue for me is what PP mentioned about the whole "I'm a princess and I have a bad attitude and it's okay" kind of sassy t-shirts. I do not allow those in our house. Hate them, hate them, hate them!

[sarahjhill]

Our concern is related, but slightly different. Our daughter (4) doesn't want to take off her princess dress, ever. It was made for her by our neighbor (it's NOT natural fibers, which is not ideal, but it's also not disney).

Seriously, she insists on wearing it from the moment she gets home from school at 1PM, until she goes to bed. all day on weekends. we sneak in a washing as often as possible. but she doesn't want to wear any other of her (quite lovely, mostly all-cotton) clothing, in favor of the princess dress & long skirt. Anyone else been in a similar situation? What did you do? Maybe someone's been through the same thing with a regular outfit...? I would appreciate additional perspectives on this one...

[a-sorta-fairytale]

I have a non girly girl. She has always liked trucks, balls, sports, swords, karate, superheros etc.
She HATES pink and anything girly. She hates barbies and dress up and princesses. She likes blue. She does like glitter
She tried one dance class and refused to go back - she has been doing karate for over a year. She liked superheros from a very young age.

She does have a dress up bin and will use it when other girls are over.
She will get a pedicure with me a few times a year

She is 6 1/2 now and her favorite things are:
scoobydoo
superheros
art
karate
wrestling
science
math

My son came out of the womb with a sword and a ball
He also loves blue and superheros and swords and balls and trucks.
*HE* will wear the tutus i bought for dd She only wants to wear them if he does. He finds they are not only sparkly but also good to holster his swords.

[hildare]

princess stuff is not a given.  i think it's a little easier if you are tv free or not sending children to preschool or day care, etc.  but it's not automatic.

[lookatreestar]

yup, my dd is not into the princess thing, she doesn't know any of the disney ones and i am fine with that. i would be fine if she did like princess stuff or wanted to play with dolls. its just not her!

[broodymama]

DD1 (4) has a spontaneous princess obsession.  Frills, twirly dresses, sparkles, everything.  She has a crown (her felt birthday crown with her initial on it) that she wears everywhere.  As long as she's dressing up to her standards of princess (felt crown, 100 sparkly hair clips, skirt AND dress AND leggings all worn together) and not just blindly imitating something she's seen then I don't really care.

[pearl2]

I will have 2 little girls under 2 soon, which means they'll grow up and probably be into the same things or fight over them. So if one decides she likes princesses, then I will whip out my sewing machine and make them some incredible dress-up costumes to at least avoid the commercial polyester grossness. I'm thinking I'll do some playsilks and felted figurines, too, and maybe make some wands out of the recycle bin with aluminum foil. 

I'm not going to lie--I'm just excited about the crafty aspect than anything else 

[elmh23]

Originally Posted by tjlucca 

 but she doesn't wear them often because we are very active and there is little one can climb in a frilly skirt.

 

Not according to my daughter!  She loves hiking and camping in her frilly dresses.  She'll go bouldering with her dad in a dress and leggings.

Just because a girl likes frilly, doesn't mean that she doesn't like doing that stuff too.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by elmh23 

Not according to my daughter!  She loves hiking and camping in her frilly dresses.  She'll go bouldering with her dad in a dress and leggings.

Just because a girl likes frilly, doesn't mean that she doesn't like doing that stuff too.

Yep, this is my DD, too.  She has 2 big brothers, so all of our stuff was gender neutral/ boy by default.  She just has her own personality-- and loves sparkly, fancy stuff.  But that doesn't stop her from playing in the mud, riding bikes, climbing trees and rocks.  I was a total tomboy growing up, and still largely am.  So I don't know where my girly girl came from--it is just her nature, because it is not the nurture side of it at all.  She very early (14 months?) rejected her brothers' hand-me-downs and will only wear certain things from her brothers' wardrobe (if it is red, mostly). 

Oh, have y'all with girly girls seen the Fancy Nancy books?  They are really cute and sweet, and are a sparkly "girl" that are not disney.

[bella99]

Um, yeah, my mom tells countless stories of sending me out of the house in a dress and tights (her choice or clothing and mine) and me returning covered in dirt and mud and with holes torn in my nice tights.

I dress my daughter in girly clothes, not always dresses necessarily, but definitely girly stuff.  I'm not surprised or bothered when its covered in mud, food, boogers or anything else.

[tjlucca]

Originally Posted by elmh23 

Not according to my daughter!  She loves hiking and camping in her frilly dresses.  She'll go bouldering with her dad in a dress and leggings.

Just because a girl likes frilly, doesn't mean that she doesn't like doing that stuff too.

My DD gets frustrated when she wants to climb, but has a dress or skirt  on that limits her movement. She has asked to boulder in her underwear before ( so as to do away with the skirt).

[junipervt]

DD is 2.5 & has no idea what a princess is. We don't do character books, toys, or clothing. & the only TV she watches are old muppet VHS tapes. FWIW neither my sister or I ever went through a pink princess phase. Both of us refused anything pink & frilly. DD likes to dress up, but her favorite dress up is a hat that looks like her papa's.

[EdnaMarie]

We do tons of dresses and I expect holes in the knees.  Boys get holes in their knees, too.  I want my girls to know that how they dress, girly or not, does not affect what they can do and whom they can be.  Well.  Not most of the time.  You do have to wear a swimsuit to swim...

Originally Posted by bella99 

Um, yeah, my mom tells countless stories of sending me out of the house in a dress and tights (her choice or clothing and mine) and me returning covered in dirt and mud and with holes torn in my nice tights.

I dress my daughter in girly clothes, not always dresses necessarily, but definitely girly stuff.  I'm not surprised or bothered when its covered in mud, food, boogers or anything else.

[mouso]

We didn't escape the princess thing, even with downplaying it. She loves fairies, princesses and anything that is shimmery, glittery or is pink/purple. 

So did I. I wouldn't wear anything but party dresses and mary janes for several years as a kid. But I also loved to get dirty and run around and go on (pretend- haha) time travel adventures and camp and wanted to be Laura Ingalls more than anything else in the world, too. 

So while my DD is obsessed with being "fancy" she is also the kid who revels in dirt and art projects and was pretending she was Woody from Toy Story the other day. She has never been into dolls or doll houses or other "girly" things. In fact, the lovely Plan Toys doll house we bought her is in the garage, at her request. 

My 15 m.o. DS plays with the play kitchen more than she ever has. She likes the workbench better. 

I guess if I focused on the fact that she likes princesses and even the Disney ones it could bother me. But I tend to see it as ONE of the things she likes. And if I deny her, she is the type of kid who will become obsessed with it.

She did see Bratz in the store the other day and asked for one. No way! But I am looking into the Only Hearts girls and may get her a Barbie if those aren't what she wants. I am unsure about the Barbie, but I had tons growing up and I don't think they were awful for me, so I may get her one. She wants one- so she can "Do art with her and read books and also pretend she is lost in the woods." 

[carmel23]

I don't like barbie because of how plastic she is.  The Groovy Girls dolls by Manhattan toys are nice and not .... gross like bratz of barbie.