This may sound silly, but I am all worried about the baby. Ok, here goes. Right now I am worried as it is not moving as much. Just a couple of days ago it was super active, and it has been really quiet since. It will still poke back when I poke it (sorry to call it "it", but I don't know the gender). It had been getting more active but has just gone into quiet mode. Even lying on my back or eating is not getting much activity. Is this normal? Maybe it just changed position?....
...Or maybe, maybe I have been a bad mom and harmed it (ok, here is where my brain goes nuts!) So I think about the cold smoked chicken I ate one day forgetfully (well it was my friend's chicken that he, a butcher, killed smoked and prepared, but I forgot that was on the "no" list, then there is my fresh raw milk that I evilly drink every morning, it was a hard call to make, but I believe it to be better for the baby (my own sheep, I milk it and monitor the cleanliness, but what if I missed a speck of something and now the baby has listeria, but haven't women drank raw milk and thrived for centuries before corporate laws and pasteurisation got us?) Or maybe I had a bath that was too warm a couple of weeks ago? Or something.
Anyway, the baby is quieter now and I am worried that I have done something bad. Maybe I am nuts, or maybe a change in patterns is something that I should worry about. I think the responsibility of motherhood is starting to get me: what if I do something wrong?!? I would never forgive myself. So many big decisions and so many conflicting opinions. I try my best (I also try not to be an anxious nutcase but right now I just need to go with and vent - sorry & thanks!).
Ok, that's it. Basically the babies activity has changed and I am all worried. Thanks for listening!