Early Admission to Kindergarten

[Jaimee]

My spirited daughter will be 4 years and 8 months old at the beginning of next school year (January birthday). In Maryland the child must be 5 years old by August 31st with a an exception period extending to October 14th with an application, interview, possible testing, etc. I believe the cut off date was moved from December 31st to August 31st because kindergarten is full day here now. Anyway, obviously my daughter doesn't fall into these categories and therefore would not be able to go to kindergarten next year. At least not without a fight.

Most parents I talk to think early admission is pushy and that kids should be allowed to be kids for as long as possible. I totally understand this idea, BUT here are my reasons for considering early admission:
*She is intellectually ready (can recognize her letters, numbers, write her name, has a vast vocabulary, etc.)
*She loves the preschool she is currently in and constantly asks why she doesn't go every day
*She is physically ready (her fine and gross motor skills have been professionally evaluated and were deemed "off the charts")
*She behaves better, is calmer in a structured environment. Too much free play equals behavioral breakdown, aggression
*She behaves better, is calmer around older kids, but around younger kids she becomes controlling and aggressive
*My dh and MIL both started school early and felt they benefited from it
*I was bored in my grade level and ended up taking classes one or two years ahead once in middle/high school

I do have some concerns:
*Would she be able to handle a full day at school?
*Would she resent being less physically mature than her peers?
*Would she resent being the last to drive, vote, drink, etc.?

Mostly I'm concerned about her behavior. Around older kids she can focus and I see her really relating and accomplishing things. Around kids she can control (generally younger kids) she focuses entirely on physical interaction, which becomes aggressive. I fear the letters home from school. I want to create a successful environment for her. I know I need to be her advocate, but I'm just not sure of the best course.

Any advice? Anyone start their kids early or start early yourself? Experiences with the application process, testing, fighting the school board, etc. as well as how it all turned out socially and intellectually are greatly appreciated!

[devon]

Have you considered Montessori? I think she could do fabulously in a Montessori environment as they are able to self-select their work, go at their own pace, and really can get quite advanced material. From a social standpoint, it would help her relate with children better as a large part is a mixed classroom where the older children help the younger children, so would perhaps address some of her 'weaknesses'.

A montessori class is also typically a full day for a child that age, so more like a traditional schedule.

My oldest was in a Montessori program and the year he turned 5, he had traditional Montessori in the morning and then from 12:30-2:30 they focused on more advanced work in a kindy type setting (not mixed age). Half the kids ended up going on to kindy and the olther half to first grade the next year.

[Jaimee]

Yes, there is a Montessori program near by that has what you describe: mixed age pre-school for the morning and academic based afternoon for the older 4's, 5's, and 6's. What I need to find out is if she would be allowed into the academic portion as a January birthday (or if it's based on ability) and whether she would be eligible for public first grade after completing the year. I assume there would be some sort of testing involved. This would be a great option save two things: coming up with $6000 to pay for it and the less structured nature of Montessori (vs. traditional school). I have a few friends with similarly spirited children and a Montessori environment has not been structured enough to curb the aggression. Of course, every child is different and I would definitely take this route if we had $6K laying around.

[meetoo]

Personally, I would not do it in your case. I'm not even sure you would be allowed to unless she was already VERY advanced. What your describing is a grade skip. Your DD b-day is 4 mths from the cut off. I think you would need to prove your child was several grades levels above already. Personally even then I would be more likely to push for s kip in 1st-2 nd grade not starting K early.
I say this as a mom has two children with birthdays close to the cut off(one child very close!). One child has already started school on time (not quite five) and the other one it's to early to tell. She will be 4.9 at the start of the school year so I imagine I will be deciding that summer. Anyway, I'm not a mom who is in the "always hold them out" camp, but I still would not do what your describing. Many parents hold out kids who are eligible for k but birthdays are close to the cut off. If your DD's birthday is already 4 months past your cut off she is not going ot be the oldest in her class. Odds are there will be at least a few children who are already 6 at the start of the school year. HTH

[tatermom]

I also live in MD and I think you'd have to put your child in private school for both K and 1st in order to accomplish what you are suggesting-- the age cutoff applies to 1st grade as well, at least in our county. Friends of our were just denied early admission to 1st grade for their daughter who completed K last year in private school and only misses the cut-off for early admission by 1 day (she has an Oct 15th bday and just turned 6 and yet they refused to place her in 1st grade and instead insisted that she repeat K). If you really want your DD in K next year, I highly doubt there is any way to do that through the public school system. On the other hand, I agree with the pp that Montessori might be perfect for your DD!

[whatsnextmom]

I have two who are young in grade but we didn't consider early enterance for either despite their abilities. We just personally didn't want them in the system earlier than they needed to be. We wanted the freedom to travel when we wanted, to not stress about sick days, homework, to allow them to learn without curriculum restrictions, ect. I'm not suggesting that early enterance is wrong for your child... just explaining why we weren't eager to make that move.

My DD started at 5 and was skipped to 1st at Christmas. She was 2 to 5 grade levels advanced all around and the school reccomended the move. She's in high school now at 13 and has no qualms about being younger at all even though she's in some classes with kids 3 to 4 years older. She just fits right in. My DS started at 4 years 10 months (our state still has a Dec 1st cut-off.) He was mature, about 2 years advanced academically except in penmanship... totally age level there. We don't regret sending him at that age but I'd be lying if I said never came up. DS is more sensitive about being younger largely because almost all the boys in his class were held back an extra year before starting kindie. I don't think it would have changed my feelings that he was ready back then but I do sort of wish I'd known how many and to what extremes other parents were willing to go with "red-shirting." I mean, there were kids in DS's kindergarten class turning 7 the same school year he turned 5!

We do see a difference atheletically. Both are quite atheletic naturally. However, in school, they are more 3rd and 4th place than the 1st and 2nd they would be with their age peers. We're not a big sports family so it's not a big deal. Plus, there are enough age-based sports teams to shine on outside of school. Still, we do see the difference when put in competitive positions with older kids in sports.

[elmh23]

My dd will be 6 at the end of the month and our state has a cut off of Sept 1, so she is one of the older ones in her Kindergarten class (we had three kids turn 5 in the first two week of school, which starts in mid-August.) She was MORE THAN ready to start last year and is in all the top levels at this point (and her teacher is working on some 1st grade stuff with her.)

But there was no way to get her in last year. No way at all. It's just not allowed here.

Edited to add that, at least here, even the private schools have to abide by the 5 before Sept 1 deadline.

[amma_mama]

It is likely a moot point, OP, if they already offer a grace period for early admission. Since your DD's birthday is way after that, I would doubt you would get any traction. I would spend the time figuring out how enriching you can make her experience next year without Kindy if you cannot go the private route, and reassess grade-skipping if /when it is appropriate later on.

We're across the Potomac, in Fairfax County and were in Arlington when DD was to turn 5, just 2 days after the Sept. 30 cutoff. They did not have an early admission process for Kindy and would not bend an inch so we did private Kindy, and even had a hard time with that as they followed the same dates. When we moved districts, we went through an informal assessment with the new school to get her into first. But, again, we missed the cutoff by only 2-days. There is little chance that they would have considered it if she missed the cutoff by more than 3 months.

[MJB]

There is a lot of unstructured time in kindergarten. I'm not trying to offend you, but I don't think any school would be happy to have a 4 yr. old with behavioral issues in a kindergarten class.
I have a son with a January birthday, and he is doing great in the right grade. He'll be 8 in January and is in 2nd. He is one of the best readers and best at math in his class but someone has to be. It's a big boost to his self esteem and he likes to help his classmates with their work. He's also generally one of the best at sports. These things are not problems.
I also have a son with a late December bday. We started him in kindergarten early this year. He is highly gifted, and was reading at a 2nd grade level before 4. He has never had any behavioral problems at school and our only issue has been trying to challenge him, as he is ahead of the rest of the class (over 1/4 of whom are already 6, and 1/4 are reading at a 1st grade or higher level). His preschool teacher was recommending early kindergarten when he was in the 3s class (she also had him for 4s and continued to help us advocate for him).
A bright or moderately gifted kid will do fine in the proper grade-for-age and if there are any concerns about readiness, I think it's better to wait. You can skip later if it is really necessary. From what you've said, there is no indication that waiting will cause her any harm.

[ChristaN]

As others have said, you might have better luck with starting her on K the following year, when she is age eligible, and then advocating for skipping 1st the next year. By that point, they will know her and what she can do and, in our experience, 1st grade is often a tough year for gifted kids. Kindergarten has a more gentle approach where the kids who already know the material usually aren't drilled with flash cards, workbooks, etc. 1st grade tends toward way too much repetition and less creative approaches to the material in general.

Our experience is in a state where the K cut-off is "5 by" somewhere btwn June to October 1 (the latest date the state will fund). Our oldest turned 5 in the last few days of August in a district with a 9/15 cut-off and started K at that point. She later skipped a grade at the school's suggestion and is now a 12 y/o 8th grader. It has worked well both socially and academically for her. Our youngest turned 5 within the last few days of Sept. and we started her in the district with the latest cut-off (10/1) and then moved her to the 9/15 district. She, technically, doesn't make the cut-off there but they let her stay b/c she had already completed K in a public school.

Like someone else said, if you go the private route for K, public schools often make the child repeat K. If it was a public school with a later cut-off, you're usually good.

I'd start with calling the state dept of education gifted and talented dept and seeing if there is any way to make this happen. My guess would be no. If you can't get her in next fall, I'd then start with trying to find the most flexible K teacher you can for the following year and a school with a history of allowing grade skips.

You could also consider homeschooling but I don't know if that is an option for your family. I'd start looking for a homeschool cooperative and/or homeschool supplement programs if you are willing to consider that option so you can meet her social needs and her need for structure.

[KCMichigan]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

As others have said, you might have better luck with starting her on K the following year, when she is age eligible, and then advocating for skipping 1st the next year. By that point, they will know her and what she can do and, in our experience, 1st grade is often a tough year for gifted kids. Kindergarten has a more gentle approach where the kids who already know the material usually aren't drilled with flash cards, workbooks, etc. 1st grade tends toward way too much repetition and less creative approaches to the material in general.



Like someone else said, if you go the private route for K, public schools often make the child repeat K. If it was a public school with a later cut-off, you're usually good.

I'd start with calling the state dept of education gifted and talented dept and seeing if there is any way to make this happen. My guess would be no. If you can't get her in next fall, I'd then start with trying to find the most flexible K teacher you can for the following year and a school with a history of allowing grade skips.

You could also consider homeschooling but I don't know if that is an option for your family. I'd start looking for a homeschool cooperative and/or homeschool supplement programs if you are willing to consider that option so you can meet her social needs and her need for structure.

Ditto above.

With a Jan Bday-- I think you will find few, if any, places that will place your DD in K unless she was VERY VERY advanced in ALL areas.

Our K is all day, but there IS a lot of free play built in the day.

My DDs did not make the cut-off date (Oct B day w/ a Sept cut off) no exceptions allowed. Academically they were ready by far and away, no questions at all by their PreK teachers. BUT no.exceptions. are made.

We will do K next Fall and then see where that goes- our area does have a good history of working with bright/advanced kids.

We are doing some HS stuff now while they do PreK (again) in the am 4 days a week.

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by MJB

I'm not trying to offend you, but I don't think any school would be happy to have a 4 yr. old with behavioral issues in a kindergarten class.
... From what you've said, there is no indication that waiting will cause her any harm.

Well, this is exactly my concern. I don't think that she is going to outgrow her need for stimulation in another year and the school isn't going to be happy having a 5 year old with behavioral issues in the classroom either. My point in all of this is to AVOID this problem- get her in an environment where she is most likely to be successful. Older kids and stimulating learning do this for her. If she is the most advanced in her class it may be harmful, behavior-wise.

Originally Posted by ChristaN

As others have said, you might have better luck with starting her on K the following year, when she is age eligible, and then advocating for skipping 1st the next year.

I can understand the school's need to assess her before allowing her to enter the next grade early. But, I guess I feel as though skipping is much more jolting on everyone than starting early. Suddenly she's the new, young, weird kid that skipped instead just being the younger one. I hear many more people having social issues skipping than I do with starting early. I just wish the school could accept some sort of private assessment (IQ test or the like) as documentation of readiness. Anyway...

It's good to hear all these experiences and to realize that it is in all likelihood impossible to get her into public K next year. I don't want to start a battle that I'm nearly guaranteed to fail. So I'll start looking into the other options mentioned.

[KCMichigan]

Originally Posted by Jaimee

Well, this is exactly my concern. I don't think that she is going to outgrow her need for stimulation in another year and the school isn't going to be happy having a 5 year old with behavioral issues in the classroom either. My point in all of this is to AVOID this problem- get her in an environment where she is most likely to be successful. Older kids and stimulating learning do this for her. If she is the most advanced in her class it may be harmful, behavior-wise.

You may be surprised.

My SPD DD showed nothing short of amazing growth between the ages of 4 & 5. Really. She is still very quirky. Last year at age 3.75 starting PreK she was very odd and had odd mannerisms, a high intensity, a need for motion/sensory, auditory sensitivities, etc. She was on an IEP for OT (among other things as well).

This year starting PreK (again-due to cut off ages) at 4.75 there was a huge improvement over the start of last year- this from an only behavioral point of view- that has only gotten better in the past few months as well.

Academically, she has learned little at school so far. But socially, it has been a year of great growth and skills. She no longer qualifies for OT and/or PT. Whatever the schools did not do to address her academic needs we did at home, they were able to teach her social skills in a large group setting. The structure and routine of school is *just* what she needed , along with an amazing understanding teacher. She and her twin were at the top of the class academically (reading & writing) last year and still are this year. Honestly, a reading/writing 5 yr old is much less 'different' than a reading/writing 3 yr old.

Does she have oddities. Yes. But do I think she will be successful next year in K. Yes. The gap between her social immaturity and academic advances is much smaller and less apparent now. She is still a bit odd socially, can seek sensory input, but her attention span and awareness of what she is doing has gotten so much better.

No matter what she will be advanced in K academically. (had we started her this year or next). At least now she will have some better social skills to handle it.

I hope that the next year will be as good for you and your DD. I have heard mostly positive grade skip stories, so I would not let that sway you too much.

[lauren]

It's also important to consider the impact of this decision on later grades. My daughter is in 7th grade and has a classmate that just barely turned 11 when most of the kids are about to turn 13. There is a pretty large developmental difference between the 11 yr old and the almost 13 yr olds in terms of interests and puberty, boy-girl stuff, etc. It's not just the academics, it's the whole picture. If I had an 11 year old I don't think I'd want him/her with almost 13's all day long. I'd want to protect the environment of the 11 yr old and not expose him/her to older middle school issues.

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by lauren

It's also important to consider the impact of this decision on later grades. My daughter is in 7th grade and has a classmate that just barely turned 11 when most of the kids are about to turn 13. There is a pretty large developmental difference between the 11 yr old and the almost 13 yr olds in terms of interests and puberty, boy-girl stuff, etc. It's not just the academics, it's the whole picture. If I had an 11 year old I don't think I'd want him/her with almost 13's all day long. I'd want to protect the environment of the 11 yr old and not expose him/her to older middle school issues.

That's my dd exactly. She turned 11 a few weeks into 7th grade and won't be 16 until after she starts her senior year of high school. In her case, it was the right decision. She does better with older kids. They are closer to her developmental level in terms of interests, existential concerns and so on. When she was younger, especially, she had a hard time with kids her age b/c their attention spans were more limited and she bored them by trying to get them to spend the entire year cleaning up trash on the playground during recess, for instance.

She is comfortable enough in her own skin to not be easily peer influenced by kids who are more advanced in terms of the sexual development, etc. That's not to say that skipping ahead is the right thing for all gifted kids. We aren't planning to skip dd10 ahead beyond some subject acceleration she is doing b/c it isn't the right thing for her for a variety of reasons. None the less, the data on grade skipping among gifted kids is generally positive socially and academically as well as in terms of their long-term achievement post-high school.

[One_Girl]

In our district they don't accept kids after the deadline no matter where they test. They will sometimes skip kids a grade up, but that is something you really have to push for. I think you should really check into what your options are before you decide on a plan. They may not let you test her in so it may be something you don't even need to worry about right now. In our area the private schools follow the same cutoffs so those also weren't an option. I think you should check into those and if they aren't an option find something you can do. If all else fails, you can get a curricullum and homeschool your dd this year then push for her to be skipped ahead a grade, or you can continue doing what you are doing and if she shows she is very advanced as for testing for skipping a grade. I really suggest not planning and worrying now because it does no good if your plans aren't going to make a difference given the realities of your situation.

[whatsnextmom]

It's also important to consider the impact of this decision on later grades. My daughter is in 7th grade and has a classmate that just barely turned 11 when most of the kids are about to turn 13. There is a pretty large developmental difference between the 11 yr old and the almost 13 yr olds in terms of interests and puberty, boy-girl stuff, etc. It's not just the academics, it's the whole picture. If I had an 11 year old I don't think I'd want him/her with almost 13's all day long. I'd want to protect the environment of the 11 yr old and not expose him/her to older middle school issues.

I do understand where the concern is coming from and it does make total sense in theory. Ironically though, while this is the common thought it actually goes against the long-term studies on acceleration. Accelerated kids tend to do BETTER socially than similarly abled kids who aren't given the option. Also, I wanted to add that most families pursue acceleration as a last resort because both the current social and academic configuration is failing miserably. In those situations, you really do have to make the best fit each year as they come. Otherwise your child can spend years not fitting in and never have the chance to build the confidence or gain social skills greatly needed in middle and high school. My DD was 11 in 7th grade. She's even a late bloomer (still hasn't started her period at 13 and in high school.) However, the grade skip turned a terrible social situation into a positive one (in fact, has always been far more a benefit socially than academically.) She thrived in middle school and continues in high school.

I'm the first to say acceleration isn't for all but I cringe a bit when I hear people disuaded from making neccessary moves at younger ages for fear of what will happen 6 or 10 years down the road. 6 to 10 years can be a long time to be unhappy.

[LynnS6]

You might want to post (or cross-post) in Parenting the Gifted Child. If your child is academically gifted, then a good case can be made for grade acceleration (a.k.a. skipping a grade) if her skills/abilities warrant it. It would probably involve some (private) academic testing to demonstrate her abilities. But there are more parents on that board who are well versed in the ups and downs of grade skipping.

It may be iffy as to whether your public school will accept K being completed at a Montessori when she's 4. For example, our dd went to a private K, and there were 2-3 children in her class who were nearly a year younger than the rest of the class. All of them were appropriately placed academically and socially. However, the local public school system was not going to accept them for 1st grade unless they were eligible for Gifted/Talented programs. Just having completed K wasn't enough. They had to demonstrate that they were academically ready for 1st grade (and more!). Many places where we live won't accept kids in 1st grade who've done early Kindergarten, but they will if they've completed 1st grade.

FWIW, our dd is a May baby and was reading before entry into kindergarten. We might have been able to enter her directly into first grade last year. We chose to enter her into K because we got the sense that socially and emotionally, she was not ready to be advanced. That might change at a later date, but right now, it was the right decision. Other people I know have started their children early and it was the right decision for them. It really does depend on the individual child.

[whatsnextmom]

They had to demonstrate that they were academically ready for 1st grade (and more!).

This is a good point. The general rule of thumb is they want an accelerated child to be a full grade ahead of where they will move into. A child wanting to skip K and go to 1st grade would be expected to be at least 2nd grade level or higher all around. It would go that they'd want an early enterance kindie to have surpassed the kindie level in their academics.

[Justmee]

I haven't read all the responses, but as the mom of 3 Feb kids in a place where there is a Dec. 31 cutoff, I can relate to the "my kid is just as ready as X, but is born after the date."

If it was a Dec. 31 cutoff, I might say give it a shot. But she's more than 5 months after the cutoff, and 3 months after the "well, we can make an exception" cutoff. My twins just started 1st grade (start of real school here), and let me tell you it is wonderful for them being the oldest. I look at the Dec. kids and I'm thankful they came when they did. I have the same issue with ds who is more than ready for the state subsidized preschool program this year, but he's too young. There really isnt' a different between him & the other kids he was playing with last year with fall birthdays, but they all started and he couldn't.

I think with a Jan. birhtday and an Aug. cutoff, your dd isnt' just going to be younger than the rest of the kids, she's going to be much younger. You are looking at a grade skip and not "early admission" to kindy. As a former public school teacher, I dont' think you will be able to do it either. Where I worked there was an age cutoff up until 3rd grade, unless the child moved from an area where the cutoff was legitamitly later. They got tired of parents putting their kids in private K as a way to circumvent the Sept. 1 cutoff.