Do babes ever nightwean themselves? If not, does it always come to CIO? - Page 2

[MJB]

I night-weaned my (now school aged) boys around a year. They did cry some but it wasn't CIO. My husband was comforting them, or I was. I don't see any way to raise a decent person without sometimes refusing to give in to their desires. They also cried occasionally when they wanted a food they couldn't have, a toy at the store, even a diaper change. I just don't see this as either spoil them rotten or make them CIO. There's soooo much in between! 

Sleep is important to me. I came onto this board today, for the first time in years, to try and find some ideas of how to get my 4 mo. old to wake less, and she only wakes 2-3 times a night for ~10 minutes. But I have 3 kids, and in order to meet all of our needs I need to fit as much sleep as possible in the hours of 11pm-7am. It's a process where the baby's needs come first at the beginning and eventually, the baby can fit into the family life. 

99% of the time, a 1 yr. old doesn't need to nurse at night. They will probably want to and if that works for mom, great! But there is nothing wrong with nightweaning as gently as possible. FWIW, my oldest coslept and nursed until 5, after nightweaning at 1. 

[SubliminalDarkness]

Oh goodness... DS2 was the model high needs child. Nights were terrible. He was waking every 45 minutes, needing me to switch sides and help him latch on again. It sucked.

We nightweaned at 14 months. Basically, DH took over nights. I slept on the couch, and DH slept in bed with DS2. The first two nights are so were really rough. DS2 would cry and DH would just hold him, lay with him, walk around with him for a little bit. After the second night, I guess he figured out that daddy was what he got, so he started sleeping pretty well, only waking once or twice, and DH would just pull him in closer and they'd go back to sleep. 

I did have to sleep on the couch for about 8 months. But it was worth it. 

Getting him out of our bed was an entirely different thing.......

[wookumus]

We're in the middle of the Jay Gordon method but we're spreading it out a bit longer because DS has always been high needs and we don't want to traumatize him too much.  It just got to the point that we felt like he was not getting enough quality sleep lying next me, constantly tempted to nurse.  The first 2 nights were amazing, nursed him a little when he look up but stopped while he was awake.  He bawled for a few minutes and then passed out for 5 hours...a serious record for a every 45-60min night nurser.  Since then, it has been a rollercoaster of good/bad nights and I've been reluctant to move to the next step since I started back to work part-time but I feel like it will help all of us and since it's only 6-7hr.  I don't think it's horrible since he's almost 14 months but it's still a battle of guilt, what's most important for the household etc.  I do have hope that you can co-sleep and wean from night-nursing!

[Katie T]

My 2 1/2 yr is no where near night weaning or sttn. I am hopeful by 3 but if I refuse the boob she cries so she is clearly not ready.

[my_baby_love]

My fairly high-needs DS night weaned himself around 17 months or so.  I'm not sure exactly how it happened, he just started wanting to be cuddled back to sleep instead of nursing.  He did still wake at all his usual times, but since we were co-sleeping I would just pull him to me and he would fall back to sleep with my arm around him.  Sometimes that didn't work, and it was because he was hungry so we learned to keep a snack by the bed and I would just hand it to him without making a big fuss.  He still nursed a ton during the day, and I thought I would have to really try to wean him at night because he was one of those kids that just loved to nurse.  But somehow he did it himself with no encouragement from me.  

I have also heard good things about the Jay Gordon night weaning plan.  I have a couple friends that have used it with great success.  I am considering it for my DS2 because he is still nursing at night and I would like that to end soon, but I want to give him a chance to stop on his own.  

[Spring Lily]

My first nightweaned herself.  My second 2 didn't.  I had to tell tehm no and cuddle with them until they understood that we weren't nursing at night anymore.  They cried for about a minute, in my arms as I patted them and comforted them, and then fell right back to sleep.  I sure wouldn't consider that CIO.      I think your question about nightweaning vs CIO is like saying "does it have to be one extreme or the other?"  and the answer to that is more obvious--no, there are many more possibilities in the middle!