Baby snatchers! - Page 2

[akind1]

My ILs are like this exactly! I appreciate the hands free time, but
I usually nurse as soon as we are there. it gets my baby time in and the delay distracts enough of the baby snatchers that there isn't such a push.

Also, one trick at large family gatherings, we get there early, before most of the other relatives, so the host gets a few minutes of baby time before the rest of the family and before they have to start focusing on "host" duties. and the baby gets to have time with people as they trickle in, so again, avoids the big push of people to hold him.

I think the passing around is why DS has so little stranger anxiety and why he just loves people. or is part of it anyway. I know I get to take him home in the end!

FWIW, I get to change the diapers, because, as neat as they are, no one else wants to mess with cloth!

[new2this]

I don't have a problem baby snatchers. I am usually the one saying here ya go when we walk in.

[Mackenzie]

I never had a problem with it, even with babe number 1. I can't see people wanting to love on my child as a bad thing.... provided that it is not upsetting to the child (ds2 fell into this category for a year ) then I don't see the problem. And honestly, I am quite flabbergasted at those that leave the baby in the car seat and other measures to keep access limited. I can't see how a seat is a better option than a persons loving arms...

[Asiago]

If you arrive with baby in carrier or sling it works out well as baby can then get settled in slowly without being wisked off. This is usually our routine. Once baby feels comfortable you can pop him out of the carrier and watch his body language to see if he wants to be held by someone. If my son doesn't want to be held by someone I won't betray his trust by forcing it. As an alternative I put him on the floor to play and then adults can play with him on the floor, he's more comfortable doing that with certain relatives than being held in their arms.

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by Asiago

If you arrive with baby in carrier or sling it works out well as baby can then get settled in slowly without being wisked off. This is usually our routine. Once baby feels comfortable you can pop him out of the carrier and watch his body language to see if he wants to be held by someone. If my son doesn't want to be held by someone I won't betray his trust by forcing it. As an alternative I put him on the floor to play and then adults can play with him on the floor, he's more comfortable doing that with certain relatives than being held in their arms.

This sounds like the best, most solid advice!

OP, I hope you don't feel like your concern is invalidated by all the posts saying that other people are glad to have someone else hold the baby. It's okay for you to feel like you do!! I feel the same way as well, and whether it's because I'm a first-time mom or whether it's just my personality, I know where you are coming from!

[tzs]

Originally Posted by new2this

I don't have a problem baby snatchers. I am usually the one saying here ya go when we walk in.

same here. although the IL's could pretty much care less. or at least, they make a big stink about how they never get to hang out with her but whenever we are there they are absolutely hands-off....especially if there's eating involved. ugh!
i guess the grass is sometimes greaner

[JudiAU]

Slings are useful. Also, don't release the baby. "Oh she just needs a few minutes to adjust to the crowd." It doesn't matter if a crowd of one.

[PuppyPanties]

Thanks everyone, for all the great advice and support!!! I needed to know I also wasnt being a crazy over protective mommy

I have NO problems telling my family/friends 'no' or any of my terms with DD, but when it comes to my DH's family i'm such a chicken/pushover, and I dont like stepping on any possible toes

and to clarify, I don't mind the other family members holding DD, I just don't like her getting whisked out of my hands as soon as I walk through the door without being asked if they can take her! I feel like I should hold onto her until we settle in so she doesn't have so many changes at once, she's always funky anywhere other than home. Also, everytime she starts getting passed like a hot cake (at a larger family function, with 10+ more people), she has mood issues and doesnt sleep well that night.

I like the sling/carrier idea, but I dont think it would work with me sticking her in our Ergo from driveway to front door. (unless if she were asleep) Hopefully she'll grow to love the maya wrap soon, That would be easier to use.

And I do admit, I should bring up this problem. But I couldnt figure out a way to nicely say "don't touch my child until she seems adjusted" in a nut shell. They all already think i'm an over protective parent (hey, shes my first child and shes only 3 months old!)

I think nursing as soon as I get there would probably be my best bet! Plus, DD with a full belly will make for a happier baby with the IL's and family. Maybe I can has DH or SIL to explain to the family how I feel if I end up not being able to do it myself.

Thanks again SO MUCH for the support.

[katelove]

Originally Posted by PuppyPanties

I like the sling/carrier idea, but I dont think it would work with me sticking her in our Ergo from driveway to front door.

I do think this would be worth a try. Because it's only to the front door at the moment cos someone takes her at the door isn't it? So, if you were able to avoid that you'd actually be holding her for longer. Maybe you could have the ergo on in the car (just the waist strap) and pop her straight in. Then you could carry the nappy bag or whatever in your hands so it just looked like you put the baby in the carrier so you could carry everything else

[newmamalizzy]

I felt this way at first, too, especially when DD and I were really struggling with BFing and it felt like everyone else got to enjoy her while I only got her when we were about to have a painful, awful, frustrating battle. Nowadays (7 months into SAHM-hood with a WOH partner with looong hours), I am often the one tossing the baby at my mom before even saying hello. But then I love watching DD with other people and having her look at me from a distance. It gives me a fresh perspective on how adorable she is!