We are in the middle of nightweaning, and some days it seems like I have made no progress, and other days we have made great leaps forward. We coslept until about a month or so ago. I started putting DD in her crib for naps for a month before I started putting her down in the crib at night. I found that the reason I was having such a hard time getting her to sleep was because she was going to bed too late. I started giving her a bath at around 6, then dinner, then a short time to play/read books and then bedtime around 7, sometimes earlier or later depending whether she has had a good nap during the day-before that, she had been going to bed around 9-9:30, and it was taking upwards of 45 minutes to get her to sleep.. . I have learned to read her sleep cues much better..(The two books that helped me the most were Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution, and The Sleep Lady Book.) I have modified their methods for my DD. When she gets cranky, time for bath and bed. Last night she went to bed at 6:30! And this was after having a daytime nap. I started nightweaning when she started sleeping for longer stretches in the crib. Currently, I nurse her to drowsiness and put her to sleep, then she generally wakes up 1-2 times before 11. The first time, I nurse her, the second I try to soothe her by rubbing her back. If I nurse her, I time it and try to put her back in the crib after 3 minutes, unless she is really nursing (gulping), but no longer than ten minutes.. She will then wake up in the middle of the night, sometime between 2-4. At which time I take her into the bed. I am trying to get her to eat a bigger dinner because I have realized that she sleeps longer when I load her up on carbs before bed. Cheese, pasta, potatoes, beans... I try not to give her meat before she goes to bed. It is really hard, and we had a lot of tears at first, but we are figuring out what works for us. I am trying to cut out the 4 a.m. feeding, but she cries and fights me, so I am just going to go with it for now, because she is doing so well otherwise.Eventually, I hope that she will stay in her crib all night, and not have to get up at four a.m. to nurse her. But, considering where we were last month, it is a great improvement. At that time, she was waking almost every hour to nurse!
So, to sum up:
1. Try an earlier bedtime with an unchanging routine.
2. and 3. Transition to crib. (btw, this helps your sex life tremendously )
Good luck, and be patient, you will see results, even though it may seem like it is not working at first. The first couple of weeks are the hardest. Just hang in there and you and your DS and DH will be sleeping better in no time. BTW, Pantley (I think) says not to get a toddler bed until the child is over two years. I forget what her reason is.