Am I wimpy or normal?

[momtoS]

I am pregnant with number three in January. I have a three year old and a six year old. We have school, ringette, swimming, music, playgroup, volunteer stuff, fundraisers, etc. PLUS cleaning, laundry and cooking etc. PLUS the constant fighting, screaming, etc that two sisters have.

I can't stand it. I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown. My skin feels like there are bugs crawling around under it. After hours of screaming, fighting, pretending to be dogs, fighting to get dressed, get undressed, bathtime, etc....I feel like I am going to come UNDONE.....

So should I just suck it up or do others feel constantly overwhelmed????

[babyjelly]

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[DaisyMay]

No - not wimpy - just having an understandably tough time of it. Parenting and juggling can be tough at the best of times, let alone when heavily pregnant. Is there anything you can do to take the pressure off just a little bit? Like maybe getting a mother's helper in a couple of hours a week to help you with chores or with the kids? Any family or friends nearby who can help? I know that I always feel awkward when my friends who have kids themselves offer to take mine for a couple of hours to give me a break and feel I ought to be able to cope on my own, but I've been trying to learn to gratefully accept help that is offered (and of course offer it in return when times are easier for me and I am able) Also I try to be a little bit selfish when I'm pregnant and just not offer to do the extra stuff that maybe I would normally do (ie volunteer stuff) because I know if I overload myself then I'm not really going to end up being any help to anybody. Again, saying no can be really difficult if you are used to saying yes, but you owe yourself to make life as easy for yourself as you can. Even some of the extracurricular stuff with your kids could maybe be put on hold for a couple of months - they really wouldn't be missing out in the long run and if it meant that you were a calmer a healthier mom to them, then everyone's a winner (unless actually getting them out of the house and doing their activities helps the day go more smoothly). Also, try to get a bit of time to yourself after the kids are in bed just to unwind - even just half an hour to chat with another adult (partner or friend) after being with the kids all day, or take a bath or read a book. Forget about the housework and your day.

I know these sorts of things are easy to say and often much more difficult to implement. I wish you all the best in any case, and with a 2 yr old and 4 yr old and number 3 on the way, I certainly know how you're feeling!

[Beverly]

Originally Posted by momtoS

I am pregnant with number three in January. I have a three year old and a six year old. We have school, ringette, swimming, music, playgroup, volunteer stuff, fundraisers, etc. PLUS cleaning, laundry and cooking etc. PLUS the constant fighting, screaming, etc that two sisters have.

I can't stand it. I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown. My skin feels like there are bugs crawling around under it. After hours of screaming, fighting, pretending to be dogs, fighting to get dressed, get undressed, bathtime, etc....I feel like I am going to come UNDONE.....

So should I just suck it up or do others feel constantly overwhelmed????

I feel like this at least half the time (and lately, after the kids have all been home from school on a week-long break, it's pretty much constant). No advice here, I'm afraid, but plenty of commisteration.

[camprunner]

I feel your pain. I started having panic attacks and asked my midwife about them. She said "You are probably doing too much stuff." At first I was thinking "No way! We always do this" But then, I started thinking about it. I am a homeschooling, WAHM who also takes her kids to soccer practice and two co-ops, park day, church activities, and I was taking classes on the side for my job. Ok, so next spring, we probably aren't going to do co-ops and if we do, I'll do one and be something that is insignificant like hall monitor if I can. I have a little over a week to go in the class I'm in and I'm not signing up for another. We'll keep soccer (but it just ended for the fall), but dh helps more with that than the other stuff. I'm going to take it easy for my sanity and everyone else's since most of our activities are over 30 min. a way.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I don't think you're wimpy - nor do I think you should suck it up. You're doing too much -- a happy childhood is not from being schlepped from activity to activity while your mom drives herself crazy cooking, cleaning and volunteering!!

Besides, if you have girls - you need to be modeling self-care for them NOW! The advice you need is right in front of you...tell yourself exactly what you would tell your daughters if they came to you saying they were on the verge of a nervous breakdown, coming undone with imaginary bugs crawling on their skin.