Where has my milk gone!!??

[mama9]

I hope this is the right place to post.

My DS is 8 months old today. We have had a very rough ride, feeding-wise, since his birth. He has been and is EBF. We have been having allergy/food-intolerance/sensitivity issues the whole time. He reacts to whatever I eat, through my milk and I have been posting in the allergy forum for a while now.

Over the past 8 months I've worked hard to keep BF him and not give him elemental formula as the dieticians, pediatricians, doctors and allergists, and even our cranial sacral therapist have been advising me to do. I have been dairy, soy, gluten, and corn free including MANY other foods in order to BF my DS. We are having food-chemical sensitivity issues too. The mamas over at the allergy forum have been amazing with their help.

My issue is that since this morning, my milk seems to have almost dwindled to a halt. I noticed it was acting up over the past few days. I tried pumping but since DS was born I have never had great results with pumping, as in I can't pump past almost 1 oz per attempt, no matter how long I sit down try for, both breasts combined.

DS has been gradually weaning himself from my right breast. Today I couldn't pump more than 1 teaspoon from there and got 3/4 of an ounce from my left side.

There are some factors that I should mention which could have something to do with what's happening:

1) He started to cut a couple more teeth over the past few days.
2) I am starting to get waves of depression over the past week or more.
3) Lots of stress and change happening in our lives - we've just moved house for example.
4) I suspect AF may be returning, hence the sudden onset of depression with a swollen tummy.
5) My thyroid levels check out fine but I don't think they are fine. I've always had symptoms of hypo which don't show up in tests. When I had a kinesiology session a few months back, the practitioner mentioned that I had a thyroid issue that was originating from my pituitary gland (not the thyroid itself) and he also mentioned in an unrelated way that making milk was hard on my body. Recently my hypo symptoms have been returning so that's why I'm mentioning it here.

I am eating lots of calories and fat despite my restricted diet. I am drinking a lot of water.

I don't know if any one can relate to this too but sometimes when my milk comes in (such as after I gave birth and other times when my breasts become a little more fuller) I get a raging migraine headache and my muscles become inflamed all over my body. I also get numbness in my hands and fingers. I guess it is hard on my body to make milk

Please, if anyone has any suggestions or insight, I would be so grateful. I tried pumping throughout the day, I could only get out another half ounce, both breasts combined. DS seemed to be able to trigger a few let downs over the course of the day but after much more work on his part than usual. And he's on the breast a lot less afterward. When I gave him a little cup of the half ounce I expressed he drank it hungrily and was pointing to me with the empty cup and shouting as if to say he wanted more. He was trying to drink more from the cup after it was empty. I tried and retried giving him Neocate (with BM and without) but he won't take it. If I am to flavor it I have to be very careful about what I use.

Thank you so much for reading my post xxx

[Amy@STL]

I am sorry

I don't have any useful advice for you but wanted to express my sympathy. I came today to this forum to post about my supply issues. My boy is 7 mo and we have had a tough journey too. I have never had a pain free nursing session....never ! We have been to everyone imaginable....I know what you are feeling. I fought very very hard for 5 mo but after that it was sooo obvious that DS was hungry for more...So we have been supplementing few oz...and I have been trying to increase my supply by those few oz...Anyway, I just thought I will let you know that you are not alone....There are quite a few like us,for whome BF journey is far from a walk in the park.

I hope you get over your depression...Good luck!

[mama9]

Thank you

Thank you so much for your post, I felt your supportive vibes I wish so much for you to have your supply catch up for you and your little one and that you will soon be abundant with all the milk you desire! It seems that you don't have that far to go. Good luck to you!!! xxx

I would totally seek out donor milk if I could but my diet is so restricted and I have had to literally customise my breast milk, right down to the last detail, in order to get it so that he reacts to it as little as possible. It would be next to impossible to find someone with my exact same diet.

He has gone to sleep now and I just lay beside him on the bed crying my eyes out. I will do anything to help him to feed well and to enjoy his feeds. He hated the Neocate so much but he kept on trying to drink it. He actually vomited some of it up.

It's very hard to get a good perspective and 'bigger picture' right now due to feeling depressed. I'm trying to separate it so that I can put my focus where it needs to go and not on the painful feelings but it's tough.

Maybe my supply will pick up and maybe it won't. I just want for him to have the best that I can possibly give him. I just gave him a feed in his sleep and there seemed to be some more in my left breast but the feeds are short.

[Amy@STL]

That's heart breaking mama....he vomitted NeoCate? It is SOOOOO difficult to see your baby crying for more and you have nothing to offer. I have never felt so helpess before in my life than this situation....they are so helpless, they love u so much and all they are asking is their basic right - food, and I can't fulfill that much....this thought hurts me so much.

Again, I dont have any helpful info...I so wish I did...but please remember that if for some reason you have to temporaily offer him neocate, it's OK! I know supplementing is the LAST thing to do, but we are NOT those mamas , who are doing it for selfish reasons or that we are uninformed. At our age babies, we KNOW when our babies are hungry and it's a question of fulffiling a human being his primary need.

I am sure your supply will come back....I genuinely feel you should work towards getting over your depression Mama...I know it's difficult to think of bigger picture now, but I do find it helpful to remember that there are babies on other parts of the world whose moms are so poor and mal-nourished that they are given water because mom as no milk...try to count your blessings...try to become a happy mama for your baby....as much as your milk, he needs your happy cheerful heart too

[mama9]

Thank you so much. You are so right. Today I was thinking that there are parts of the world where people would be in need of something like formula but can't get it and even though I have had no intention of giving it to DS, I acknowledge how much I have to be thankful for. He is born into an age/part of the world where he won't starve to death by any means and all I can do is my best. Thank you for affirming this for me mama, you are very sweet and kind.

I am so grateful that I could even breast feed him up until his 8 month b'day and it could even go beyond today, whatever the amount is. I'd be grateful to feed him even an ounce of mama milk per day if I can produce it. I am also grateful that I know better and have had access to the information I need to make better choices for DS.

I will focus on bringing cheer to my heart and I will find ways to heal the situation, whether it's through supplements/nourishment, healing remedies, prayer, etc. I am at the threshold of this depression and I still have hope that I can nip it in the bud before it blooms any further.

Sending you soothing booby vibes!

[ktgrok]

Ok, so you were never able to pump much, and you still can't pump much. That doesn't sound like a drop in supply, or at least not much of one. sounds more like your body has adjusted to him, not the pump. I can't pump much either, but have milk enough for my daughter. I know he has food issues, but at this point maybe there are some safe solids you could offer instead of formula? Seems like it would be easier to find a solid food he tolerates than the mishmash of ingredients that make up formula. So maybe some avodaco or sweet potatos, and water, instead of formula? He's certainly at the age where he might be starting to want solids. I also think it might be your cycle starting back, in which case hang in there, it will get better again in a few days. or, could you be pregnant?