Pregnant with triplets. Anyone else have HOM?

[charis4]

Hi!

I've been a MDC member for a while, but don't post much. I'm 20wks pg with triplets and after reviewing the available research we've decided to plan a vaginal birth unless there are medical indicators that we should do a cesarean. We've found a great OB who is totally on board and truly understands the benefits of vaginal birth, delayed cord clamping, breastfeeding, etc and is completely supportive. We're seeing a perinatologist concurrently who isn't supportive of vag birth for triplets, but she's an excellent high risk doc and I feel well taken care of having both of them coordinate my care. I'm a childbirth educator and birth doula so I have a good handle on my options for pregnancy and birth and trust my doc to intervene as little as needed.

I plan to breastfeed (I basically bf'd twins last time, my nephew got exclusively my bm for 5 months along with me bf'ing my own son), I cloth diaper, etc. I'm having a hard time finding triplet moms that I have very much in common with. I've gotten a LOT of static for planning a vaginal birth unless otherwise indicated, planning on bf'ing all 3, planning to CD all 3, etc. I guess I'm just wanting to say hi and see if there are any triplet or high order multiples mama on here.

I look forward to getting to know you guys and to all the great advice I'm sure you have to give!

Morgan

[~Adorkable~]

Congrats and welcome to posting more.
I'm jealous that you have found a doc so supportive! Wish I could for my twins. I'm rooting for you all.

So you also have twins? How old? Sounds like you are building an amazing family!

[charis4]

No, I don't have twins, I have a 16 dsd, a 4yo ds, and a 2yo dsd. The triplets are GGB, which will even out the sexes in the family.

When my 2 yo was born, my nephew was born a few days before and has a severe genetic disorder which prevented him from breastfeeding. My sister was never able to get the stimulation she needed to nurse, even with a pump, so we gave my nephew my milk for 5 months. Because of that, I know I can make enough milk for twins, but hopefully I'll be able to make enough for 3 this time around!

Morgan

[~Adorkable~]

ah sorry read too quick, was eating at the time and preggo brain an all. i look forward to hearing more as your adventure goes along.
ther was a mom nursing triplets around here not that long ago, it certainly can be done.

even if they might not be totally on the same page as you in styles, have you looked into your areas parents of multiples group? many areas have good ones and they can be helpful for a lot of day to day learning in the BTDT category

[Red Pajama]

I use motherease cloth diapers, and I know there was a story there about cloth diapered triplets.
I wish you much luck with your pregnancy and beyond!

[hergrace]

I have triplets.  I wanted to try for vag birth, exclusively bf, cloth diaper, etc. but eventually had to compromise on all of those.  Other mamas on here have compromised less. There are mamas who have posted here who homebirthed triplets and mamas who have exclusively bfed. Triplet mamas tend to be extremely busy, so we don't post as often as you might like.

My best advice to you is plan for your ideal, recognize the reality of where you actually are every day, and be prepared for things to change.  And be easy with yourself if you aren't able to fulfill all your dreams. 

I am glad you have found a supportive OB who is willing to try for a vag birth. I had a supportive perinatologist, and it really helped my peace of mind during my pregnancy. I did develop complications at 30 weeks that meant my babies had to be delivered by c-section at 33 weeks, but I was glad that it was an entirely medical decision.  I am sure we saved the life of one of my babies.

Almost all triplets are premature. Prematurity makes bfing hard.  It isn't always impossible, but you need a huge amount of support to make it work.  You need other people to do everything for you so that you can do nothing but feed your babies.  I didn't have enough help for that.  In the end, I pumped for as long as I could and gave my babies as much mamamilk as I possibly could. 

We didn't cloth diaper because there were not enough people available to do laundry and we couldn't afford a diaper service.

One of the things you will find on this forum is that many moms have been unable to implement their dreams for one reason or another. If you succeed where we have failed, we will cheer for you, and if you struggle, we will support you as you figure out what you are able to do.  The twin mamas, bless them, tend to think that we are amazing just for getting up every morning and doing the best we can. 

I don't post here often, but I check in several times a week.  If I see triplet related posts, I do my best to respond quickly. 

Hugs, and best of luck with your pregnancy.

[hergrace]

Originally Posted by oAdorkableo 

even if they might not be totally on the same page as you in styles, have you looked into your areas parents of multiples group? many areas have good ones and they can be helpful for a lot of day to day learning in the BTDT category

In my local MOMs group, there are a couple of twin moms who are very AP and it was good to talk to them.  And, I found it worth joining for the sales. And, talking to moms of twins with older children was helpful because I didn't know any triplet moms with older children.  I have been lucky and have found a great group of triplet moms that meets a couple of times a year.

It doesn't help now, but I have found that once we got through the first 18 months, I had more in common with lots of triplet moms than during the early months where the differences in parenting can be so obvious.

[ladydodson]

just popping in to say hi! i love hearing about your birth plans...i had been wondering.

[charis4]

Thank you all for your well wishes and great advice!

Its funny, but I already know probably 1/3 of the local MOM group. I moderate a local infertility support group and many of the women have gone on to have twins with ART. In fact, I went to Vegas a year ago with a bunch of friends and I was the only one without twins! We all joked that it was just a matter of time. We've done IVF for all our kids, so we knew there was always a possibility of multiples, but apparently I just had to outdo them all and have 3. Its kinda scary that all my twin friends are in awe of the fact that I'm having 3, not a confidence builder! There's only one other triplet mama in the group, but there's kind of an informal group of triplet mamas in the area that network, so I've been talking a lot online with them also.

I completely agree with you, Kate, its very important that I have goals, but that I'm flexible when it comes down to it. I'm a childbirth educator and a birth doula and that's something that I encourage with my clients. Plan for the best but do your research, know your options and alternatives, be positive, but if x-y-z doesn't work out, you can't beat yourself up! Part of being a good parent is prioritizing where your energy and resources go. I'm going to plan on breastfeeding them all for as long as possible, but I'm guessing that what we'll end up with is me feeding 2 while the 3rd gets a bottle and rotating them through. With cloth diapering I have fewer options, my other kids have been so sensitive to paper diapers (even 7th gen, etc) that we HAVE to use cloth or they get horrible rashes. It would be nice if the triplets aren't the same way so I'd at least have the option of paper, but I'm not expecting it.

I feel like I've got everything as planned as I can, but you can't plan for everything! That's one of the reasons that I just adore my care provider. He really believes in the benefits of vaginal birth, delayed cord clamping, etc, so I feel comfortable that we can make decisions on the fly and that if he thinks something needs to be done, its because it really does and not because of fear of liability or other non-medical concerns.

Thanks again for the support, its much appreciated!

Morgan

[hergrace]

Morgan,

Wow, you sound way more on top of things than I was at 20 weeks.  It's hard to be without other triplet moms who are even thinking about non-mainstream parenting choices.  Is the APmultiples yahoo group still active?  There used to be a few triplet moms on there. I haven't checked to see if there is active discussion in almost 3 years, so I don't know what you would find there now.

[ladydodson]

Originally Posted by hergrace 

Morgan,

Wow, you sound way more on top of things than I was at 20 weeks.  It's hard to be without other triplet moms who are even thinking about non-mainstream parenting choices.  Is the APmultiples yahoo group still active?  There used to be a few triplet moms on there. I haven't checked to see if there is active discussion in almost 3 years, so I don't know what you would find there now.

yes, it is still active. i think one triplet mom posts regularly.

[Kathryn]

Another triplet mom here. :) I had a homebirth with my trio at 36+4. They were good sizes for me, but I still had a bit of trouble with breastfeeding due to a teeny mouths vs giant boobs, mastitis, thrush, and a uterine infection. I ended up having to start supplementing with formula and donor milk at 6 weeks, but was able to continue pumping for several more months. 

We also CD'd for a long while, but eventually dropped that due to other stresses. For quite a while, I was really upset at myself for my 'failures' with them, but I'm getting over it as much as I can now. :)

I, unfortunately, never really found any other MoM's near me that were even remotely similar to me. I did join the yahoo APmultiples group and got great advice on there. I hope you're able to find other moms close to you!