Am I uptight about amount of sleep for 20 mth old????

[kfillmore]

I have a active 20 month old who is not the best sleeper. She takes time (usually 1/2-3/4 an hour) to get to sleep and wakes up a lot at night (wanting to nurse) and she tosses and turns a lot. She is usually asleep by 8:30, hopefully before and naps for 1 hour sometimes more on her own, more if I nurse her.

I am a nervous wreck (and have been for...a year?) about her getting enough sleep. I am always adding it up (and going by books that say she needs 31/4-14 hours a day) Every morning I get uptight about her napping and I start getting uptight again around 4 or 5 pm. I feel always under so much pressure. I feel extra horrible because for the last two-three months her naptime hours are less regular (somewhere between 11:30 and 2:30) I always aim for 11:30 nap and 7:30 pm bed. Things always seem to get in the way, either fun things we want to do (which I stop enjoying once I feel like she should be sleeping) or sometimes doesn't seem tired, or is over tired (I can not always tell) also takes forever to get to sleep, esp nap time.

This is one of the most stressful things for me. I feel worried all the time about it. Anyone have any thoughts, advice , experiences??

[Latte Mama]

My DS is several months older now but over the summer I didn't let naptime stop us if we wanted to do something fun. For example if we wanted to go to the zoo, we'd get ther at opening time (10 am) and stay until about 1. If he started getting sleepy, I'd put him in the back carrier and he'd nod off there.

How much night time sleep is she getting?
I do like it when my DS gets his nap in but learned to let go if it doesn't happen. I think it also would depend on your DD's temperament when she doesn't nap?

[April Dawn]

I really don't think you need to stress so much, especially if she is not acting tired during the day! Worry about how she feels; don't worry about what some parenting book says.

Edited by April Dawn - 7/6/11 at 8:54am

[happysmileylady]

Here's the thing about average number of hours of sleep they need. It's an AVERAGE. Meaning some kids might need more and some less. Just like adults-the average is 8 hours, but my DH is pretty irritable if he doesn't have at least 10 hours, I am good to go on 5 to 6 each night. And some days, they will need more sleep, like if they are sick, and other days they might need less.

I wouldn't worry about a particular number of hours, rather pay attention to your child. If she's acting tired, it's time for some sleep. If she's well rested and happy, then she doesn't need a nap or to go to bed. Just like it's better to follow the child's lead when BFing and feed the LO when she's hunger, it's best to follow the child's lead when it comes to sleep.

That doesn't mean a routine isn't good for little ones. It's not a bad thing for the child's nap to occur around the same time every day and bedtime to be around the same time. I only mean that the routine should be based on the child's individual needs, not the clock or amount of sleep kids are "supposed" to get.

[mamadelbosque]

Stop stressing. Seriously. If she seems fairly well-rested then be happy and relax about it. DS1 napped well till he was over 3 yrs old its just been over the summer that hes dropped his nap (which was a solid 1.5-2 hours from 2-4ish). DS2? Meh. If he gets an hour or so nap around 4ish I'm extatic. He generally sleeps from aboug 9pm-7am. So whats he getting overal? 11 or maybe 12 hours of sleep? And hes *FINE*. (He's 15 months fwiw). At DS1's age, he was still napping ~10-12am AND 2-4pm!! AND going to sleep from 9pm-7amish!! So thats, what? An extra 3 HOURS more sleep on average than ds2?? Some kids/people just do peachy fine on a LOT less.

[maptome]

DD (15 months) recently went through a drastic change in sleep.  I even took her to the doctor because I couldn't believe it was purely behavioral.  She used to sleep 12.5-13 hours per 24 hour day.  I used to be stressed because I thought that that was way less than "average".  Yes, I was (still am) obsessed with adding up total hours of sleep.  If DD is asleep without me, I can't breathe because I'm so stressed out about her waking up.

Now she's on about 11.5 -12 hours of sleep, and I give up.  The doctor told me that she needs a minimum of 10 hours of sleep, 11-12 is ideal for cognitive development, but some kids her age still do sleep 13-14 hours.  It's hard not to want them to sleep more because sleep is good for them and easy on us!  Also, DD is not an easy sleeper.  She needs all her ducks in a line for her to fall asleep.  Wakes often.  I think these kind of behaviors add to my stress.

I'm learning to deal with this, too.  Remember, you can't control her sleep.  If she doesn't seem exhausted, then she's probably okay.  Remember those numbers are averages.