toddler freak-out moments, but are they really learning? - Page 2

[loraxc]

DD started asking to learn to read sometime around 3, I think. I bought some BOB books and followed along with my finger as I read, and we talked about phonics and played on Starfall, but that was all. I don't think she actually had the ability at that point. She just understood that reading was powerful and exciting, YK? She continued to ask sporadically till 4ish, but "teaching" didn't really get us anywhere, though I certainly didn't try very hard. In the end, she learned to read as a late 4. I don't think we really taught her at all at that point, though, oddly, I can't quite remember. The process happened very quickly once it started in earnest.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by loraxc 

DD started asking to learn to read sometime around 3, I think. I bought some BOB books and followed along with my finger as I read, and we talked about phonics and played on Starfall, but that was all. I don't think she actually had the ability at that point. She just understood that reading was powerful and exciting, YK? She continued to ask sporadically till 4ish, but "teaching" didn't really get us anywhere, though I certainly didn't try very hard. In the end, she learned to read as a late 4. I don't think we really taught her at all at that point, though, oddly, I can't quite remember. The process happened very quickly once it started in earnest.

Ooh, that reminds me! I've got a bunch of early (K-1) leveled books squirreled away. One of the perks of being a curriculum specialist . I should get them out. They're not great literature (I'd much rather read him good books regardless of their level), but if he asks me to teach him, I can bust those out and just read them. Thanks for the reminder; I grabbed them last year thinking, "He might need these someday."

He loves Starfall. We're currently on a Starfall hiatus because it was driving me batty. Maybe it's time for Mr. Starfall to make friends with Mr. Headphones. 

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by blizzard_babe 

in reading (vs just letter memorization), it seems like there's this point where it's a whole different skill and i have to draw the line and say, 'nope, everything across THAT line is teaching and everything on THIS side of the line is just following along and providing support.'

I think our whole society over-thinks this. We assume learning to read requires a structured, sequential, adult-led, top-down approach. And if that's the assumption, it's no wonder you second-guess yourself in offering that to a toddler. But for gifted kids who are destined to read early learning to read requires nothing of the kind. (In fact, I'd argue that the majority of all kids require nothing of the kind if we'd just let them honour their own developmental timetables and not push them into early academics -- but that's another thread.)

Anyway, if he asks for help learning to read just say "Sure, what do you want to know?" If he can't articulate any specific questions, just point out to him how much he already does know and that he's already on his way to learning. The questions will come as he is ready for the answers. 

Miranda

[captain optimism]

My son did some of these things at this age, though he was not able to make the connection between letters and reading until very recently! I envy you the signs of early reading. Even now that my son is old enough to read, he continues, as he did when he was little, to ask to have things read to him repeatedly so he can play with the ideas. As a toddler and preschooler he was definitely interested in memorization.

He showed understanding of the things that interested him. Some of the things he learned at three and four he retains now and other things he's completely forgotten. Some were things I taught him for fun on my initiative, like little poems, and some were things he wanted to know, like facts about the Beatles or penguins. Anything to do with arithmetic or funky math tricks, he's retained.

I really like Moominmamma's answer:

Anyway, if he asks for help learning to read just say "Sure, what do you want to know?"

That's a great answer! You will never regret the time you spent engaging with your child and enjoying their excitement about what they're learning, even if they don't "really" learn it--retain it and continue to use it until it's age appropriate, or whatever "really" learning means to you. You aren't exploiting her, you're exploring with her. If she is able to layer and use this stuff as she grows, great. If not, she's having fun with you, and that's also great.

[majormajor]

just wanted to quickly jump in and say your DD reminds me of my DD1 at that age. i was actually semi-convinced that she's psychic and just reading my mind. it seems easier to rationalize than the alternative sometimes!

as far as reading goes, my DD progressed really slowly. she was reading 3-letter, CVC words at 2.5, and only now, at 5.5, is really starting to read everything fluently. i've never tried to assess her grade level, so i can't tell you when she was reading at what level, or what level she's at now for that matter, because i don't think it matters. my philosophy is very hands-off for  the adults, hands-on for the kids. i'm a big believer in playing in the dirt and whatnot. also, i think i was something of a late bloomer intellectually, so my expectations for the kids are probably influenced by that.

that said, i always try to give her what she needs. so, when she got into anatomy, we got a kids anatomy book, and when that wasn't enough for her, we got an adult one.

anyway, i am sick today and not thinking clearly, but the point i wanted to make is that as strange, scary, and exciting as it is, you kind of have to accept that you don't know what it means for them for the future, so there's no sense in trying to figure it out. just keep giving her what she needs from you and you'll do fine!

[Rlin]

I have an almost 2,5 y old as well, and he wants to learn how to read. He already knew all of the letters, but discovered his friend (who is 6y) knew how to read. So, he told me he was going to learn how to read as well. He had some major tantrums when he discovered it wasn't something you learn in a day. He told me it was difficult and he needed to practice. He made everyone read everything to him, books, signs, store names, and made us sound them out. (" all letters, one by one"). We never sit down with him to teach him how to read, but he's figuring it out slowly. He makes words with his magnet ABC, tries to spell his name. Tells me which sounds are in words. He hates it that reading goes slow for him, so he's memorizing a lot of words, but he uses them to figure out bigger words (he knew bot = bone in Dutch, and managed to read robot this way). We just answer questions, read to him whatever he wants. Like with every other thing he wants to learn, we just follow his lead. (we also have an adult anatomy book out for him, because the childrens one didn't answer all his questions ;) ).

My mom told me I figured out how to read by myself around 3,5y old, she just answered my questions. I apparently taught my brother (2y younger) to read and he could read around 3,5y as well. We both turned out pretty ok, so I try not to worry about DS too much..

[ellemenope]

Thank you so much for all the great suggestions. I really loved what Roar said.  That really resonated with me.  I saw a placemat with the presidents on it the other day.  We are definitely going to pick one up for Christmas.  DD will go ape-crazy for that.  It might make her whole Christmas!  She will also be getting (finally) a United States Puzzle for Christmas.  I imagine that will make it funner to talk about all her states.  We have been so apprehensive about taking the plunge and buying these "learning" tools.  But, DD is begging us, and there is only so much I know and can relate to her strictly orally.

I counted the other day how many presidents she knows.  She is up to 31.  She can recognize them visually, and what is interesting is that it does not have to be the same picture of the guy for her to remember.  But, her forte is facts.  So, the way we play her president game is by either asking her which president was impeached and resigned, and her answering, Richard Nixon, or by asking her what Gerald Ford did, and she will answer that he pardoned Richard Nixon.  And, then she will go on about how he was a handsome man who played football.  (Seriously, not the most intellectual stuff, but she LOVES it.)  But, I feel so limited, because I have no idea what Chester A. Arthur did!

She jsut loves these presidents.  She listens to NPR just to hear Barack Obama's name!  Last night she overheard Calvin Coolidge's name on the radio and went crazy.  We were walking arounf the bookstore and from across the store she spotted Abe Lincoln.  And then she yelled "its a founding father!" when she saw a painting of the Virgin Mary that was done in the same style as the old paintings of the George Washington and John Adams.  The other day she came up to me and gave me a wry smile and simply said "John Qunicy Adams," a president she had not previously seemed to know, and walked away.

As far as reading goes, we are not concerned.  She does not ask to learn to read.  She does love letters and letter sounds, but a desire to learn to read ends there.  I agree with everyone's advice.  i think I would just answer her questions.

Still, these presidents consume only a very very small part of our day.  She has been enjoying the time she is getting to play with her cousin.  She loves telling her that she has been playing with something first even if she hasn't.  She is devouring Christmas lore.  She has memorized all of Santa's reindeers' names.  She has this imaginary world consisting of three talking snowmen.  She want to read the Polar Express 25 times a day.  She is going to be a flower girl this weekend in my sister's wedding.  And, she is peppering me with questions requiring complicated answers all day long like "How come when I flip this switch that light goes on?"  I am no mother of the year because I am like "it just does."

So, I am trying to play around with this new embed feature.  Here is a video I shot in the car of DD saying the pledge. Hope it works. She will NOT perform for the camera at all, so this is the only way to capture it.  I have to be sneaky.  We just moved across the country and every now and then she's see a flag...

Edited by ellemenope - 12/10/10 at 11:48am

[excitedtobeamom]

My son loved Starfall and www.Readingeggs.com at that age.  He also enjoyed www.headsprout.com when he was a little older.  I would definately get out the early readers and follow her lead.  If she asks to read show her how.  I just answered questions and my son basically taught himself to read at three but I answered all his questions.

[annettemom]

My son taught himself to read using phonics at 19 months old (maybe younger, who knows?). He would randomly read words on boxes or signs for a few months and we wondered (but who expects their baby to be reading?). We also noticed at that time that we couldn't spell words that he knew (like D - O - G), because he would know what we were talking about.  Now, he is 2.5 and my friend--a former Kindergarten teacher--says he is reading at least at a first grade level. We bribed him with a cookie to read a few sentences she wrote on paper. I never taught him, and even now, when I make attempts to teach him anything (or try to figure out how well he is reading), he mostly ignores me. Sometimes he will read sentences or even paragraphs out of easy readers like Dr. Seuss or "Are you my mother?". The scariest thing is that he appears to be comprehending what he reads, not just decoding.  We finally gave him a mouse a few days ago and he instantly mastered drag-and-drop, and now goes on starfall throughout the day. It's weird, but it makes him incredibly happy. When he loses interest in starfall, I plan to introduce him to headsprout. At the rate he is learning to read, I wouldn't be surprised if he was at a 3rd grade reading level by the time he turned 3. 

I think it's a parent's job to offer exposure and then to follow their children's passions, whether that be learning the names of presidents or building block castles. If your son wants to read, then why not give him the tools so that he can teach himself? Or if he is willing to sit and listen to you teach, then why not? He will either want to continue or not. If he wanted desperately to play the piano, would you refuse him lessons? If he begged to put together a 100-piece puzzle, would you tell him no?

I don't think we should let a fear of "hot-housing" or public disapproval keep us from letting our children follow their dreams. I spent almost a year of my son's life not supporting his desire to read because I thought "he was too young". He learned anyhow, and I lost all those moments when he could have felt loved and supported in pursuing something he was passionate about. Please don't make my mistake. 

Also as an aside, my son's expressive abilities, although advanced, have always lagged behind his cognitive abilities, so he is not as verbally adept as some of the other children described on this forum. Every child has their special talents and gifts, you know? I love hearing about everyone's kids, and I'm often incredibly impressed. I often wonder what my next child will be like, and what interests and gifts they will have. :)