HELP!!! Daycare is a disaster

[tammylsmith]

My 6 month old ds just started in daycare last Monday. He has a strong, healthy attachment to me, but is extremely sensitive. He is my second, with dd having no trouble in the care of others as an infant, mostly because as the first grandbaby, my inlaws were happy to watch her as often as possible. With ds, I have been at home to care for him, so the offers for babysitting just don't come in... even my husband doesn't watch him one on one like he did my dd (he is starting a business, and entirely consumed in a way that makes that kind of one on one time much more difficult at this point... not to mention we have another child who needs attention now too)

I only need him in for 3 hours per day so I can help my husband with the workload and do some work from home. It is such a PERFECT situation for me, if only I could get this daycare thing to work!! Ds starts wailing the second I leave. I leave the care providers with a bottle of warmed milk, extra milk, a sippy cup, his favorite blanket, etc. It is a small center, and he gets lots of attention there, but he wants none of it. He only has eyes for me (which normally warms my heart but in this case is a major problem) I have been sending him from 12-3, during the time dd is in prek. He naps and nurses right before we go. I tried to see if he would let them feed him his baby food today but he wanted nothing from anyone, and screamed until I came to get him.

Help!! What do I do? Is there anything I can do? I really want this work situation to work out for me!! I want him to settle in a little, but don't know what to do.

They offered to let dd go to pre k in their center (she attends public prek) but I think she would miss her friends and teacher, as well as the hustle and bustle of going out to specials and the playground, etc (the daycare center has prek too, but is small, and in a church basement, so it just doesn't have the same facilities). I would hate to take her out and have her regret it. But I need ds happy too.

Any thoughts!?!

[lunarlady]

Changing DD wouldn't hap DS deal better. All it does is save you time. So I would leave her where she is. As for your son, how long has he been in care? One week? I find it takes my kids 2 to 3 weeks to really adjust to a new care situation. So if it is new, give him time. What helps is making things as consistent and predictable as possible. Same bat time, same bat place. So every care day follows the same routine. Hopefully in a week or two he will settle in and calm down. Does he cry the whole time you are gone or just at drop off and pick up?

[tammylsmith]

He's only done it a week, but he screams as soon as I leave and has been entirely beside himself and inconsolable pretty much for the three solid hours I left him. They called be back early today out of concern that he was too worked up. he won't take a bottle or sippy cup from anyone there, and nothing seems to comfort him. He was so distraught on Fri. that he wouldn't go to my husband at all in the evening and kept me up all night nursing. I was thinking of trying him for just an hour in the morning tomorrow, when the other kids are all up and playing rather than napping. Then he won't be looking to nap, and might be able to bond with the care providers? This doesn't help my work schedule, but I was hoping to help him build on some success.

[mommyabroad]

Would they wear him in a sling or Moby? Or strange as it may sound, would the care provider visit you in your home to spend time with your son? Sort of a transition phase in a familiar environment? Shorter times earlier in the day to start might also help. Gradually lengthening as he adjusts.

[tammylsmith]

Originally Posted by mommyabroad

Would they wear him in a sling or Moby? Or strange as it may sound, would the care provider visit you in your home to spend time with your son? Sort of a transition phase in a familiar environment? Shorter times earlier in the day to start might also help. Gradually lengthening as he adjusts.

All good ideas, and I did offer my mei tai, but in truth, my son is the only baby, so I'm pretty sure he is in arms for a good portion of time. Hadn't thought of the home visit, but I'll keep that in mind and ask her. He is sounding pretty croup-y today, so I think he isn't feeling well, which must be contributing.

[tammylsmith]

Well today went really well! I am so happy. I had dh drop the baby off at 9 am, since the "big kids" (2-3 year olds) are all up and playing then, as opposed to napping (at 12, when I dropped him off before). I think it helped that dh did the drop off, and ds was so happy today! Now, I still need the care to be in the afternoon, because that's when dd is in pre k... but I'm thinking we can ease into that by dh doing drop off one later each day and then maybe settling at 11:30.... so the kids are still up and around, but I get my afternoons free.