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Asked "are you having twins?"

post #1 of 35
11/8/10 at 3:46pm
Thread Starter 
Ummm I'm not. She then said - It's only November, so your what, 5 months along? I said - I guess your saying I'm big, then huh?

Was that rude of her? Because I was slightly offended but when those comments are being said - I just freeze and laugh it off but then later on, I get annoyed that people feel the need to ask questions like this. I would NEVER ask anyone that. Ever Ever Ever! I just don't get it...
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post #2 of 35
11/8/10 at 3:56pm
People LOVE to ask me that.

My family especially as we do have a high rate of fraternals from the moms on my moms side of the family (a few of my cousins have had twins, 2 b/g and 1 b/b as far as I know so far) so even after TWO ultrasounds they still insisted I could be having twins. My mom went with to the third and asked that tech to double check for twins (even though I had done that at my first tri ultrasound as that was part of why I got that ultrasound)

People that do not know me or my family ... they are just rude to ask and it bothered me.

Heck, it even bothered me from my family but still.

Sorry people, just fat, not twins!
post #3 of 35
11/8/10 at 4:00pm
Person 1: "Are you having twins?"
Person 2: "Why do you ask?"
Person 1: forced to say "because I think you look gigantic" or "because I'm nosy" or an awkward "oh, just curious" while suddenly realizing the rudeness of the question.

I haven't been asked that during this pregnancy. I guess people see me out in public with five kids seven and under, the youngest of whom is almost two but looks and acts more like a 12mo old, and figure there's no hope for me now.
post #4 of 35
11/8/10 at 4:01pm
That was just rude of her! It reminds me of a time that I was shopping and the cashier asked when I was due, this was in July and I said November. She then had to tell me that I look just as big as her friend who is due in August. I tried to blow it off and said- oh well, it's my 3rd baby so I guess I get bigger alot quicker than I did the first two times around. She then says, oh it's my friends 3rd baby too. I was so ticked off, even if she thought it, she didn't have to say it!
I know it's hard, but just try to ignore the rude stuff people say. I've been asked about twins too.
post #5 of 35
11/8/10 at 4:36pm
Yes. It's rude. When I was pregnant with Ava I got it all the time. One guy asked me when I was due and wouldn't believe September because his wife was due in August and she was soooooo much smaller than I. But, I had gained 62 lbs, was on my 3rd pregnancy, am short and skinny so it has nowhere to go but out, annnnd had a ton of fluid. He was pissing me off so much I just told him it was twins.
post #6 of 35
11/8/10 at 4:38pm
Thread Starter 
I think I'm more mad at myself at this point. This same thing happened with my first pregnancy and she was a repeat offender - almost every time she saw me. I laughed it off then as I did now. I think I'm so naive to think that people really can be that cruel. I think they see a belly and think it's okay. I'm mad at myself that I didn't stop and say wow, really? The repeat offender kept saying it was only because I was so skinny before and she just can't believe it now...or was it, it's not you thats big, just your belly. I can't remember...
post #7 of 35
11/8/10 at 4:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tmama View Post
This same thing happened with my first pregnancy and she was a repeat offender - almost every time she saw me.
Ugh, DEFINITELY rude!!!
post #8 of 35
11/8/10 at 5:10pm
I am small and carried small and people STILL ASKED ME. I was like, "Uh, I hope not... they'd be awfully small!" 32 lbs gained at 41.5 weeks, twins? Really?

I swear, it's like people have never seen a pregnant person before.
post #9 of 35
11/8/10 at 5:17pm
It's rude, but it's a really common "joke" that people make. I usually just did the icy stare response.

BTW, I suffered AWFUL morning sickness and completely lost my appetite and gained a total of 7 pounds during my entire first pregnancy. A lot of people didn't even know I was pregnant, because I wasn't even wearing maternity clothes until about 7 months. And people STILL asked me that.
post #10 of 35
11/8/10 at 6:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nova22 View Post
Person 1: "Are you having twins?"
Person 2: "Why do you ask?"
Person 1: forced to say "because I think you look gigantic" or "because I'm nosy" or an awkward "oh, just curious" while suddenly realizing the rudeness of the question.
I love, love, love this! Totally using this (while in my mind saying "No, you bleeping bleephole!).
post #11 of 35
11/8/10 at 6:32pm
My mom asked me that the minute she saw me. I AM only 8 weeks and I'm about the size I was at 20 weeks with my previous two, but I'm thinking it's just the extra 'baggage' I have now.

I got asked that by a stranger when I was 7 months with my first. She kept insisting that the doctor missed something on the ultrasound and finally I just said, "Nope. I have just gained a lot of weight and am much fatter than normal." That seemed to quiet her a bit.
post #12 of 35
11/8/10 at 6:35pm
I asked someone... yesterday but I was already pretty sure it was twins. My bump looks like a medium watermelon... her bump looked like my birthing ball.
If I wasn't so sure I wouldn't have asked though. I hope I didn't come across as rude. I don't think I did because she continued talking to me after that.
post #13 of 35
11/8/10 at 6:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nova22 View Post
Person 1: "Are you having twins?"
Person 2: "Why do you ask?"
Person 1: forced to say "because I think you look gigantic" or "because I'm nosy" or an awkward "oh, just curious" while suddenly realizing the rudeness of the question.
OMG that is brilliant! I am SO using that next time!!!!! (I get asked ALL the time and it pisses me off every time.)
post #14 of 35
11/8/10 at 7:05pm
Almost as rude as commenting on a non-pregnant person's weight gain. I'm tempted to say "as rude", but people seem to think there's some kind of licence to comment on pregnant bodies, so I guess the intentions at least are slightly more benign. Maybe. I dunno. I'm sensitive about personal comments, so even though I was small and "neat" throughout pregnancy I hated hearing "Oh, you've popped!" or whatever else the public at large felt I should know.

You could always give them a distant, pitying smile and say "You know, weight gain is really not the best predictor of twins", and then regale them with information about amniotic fluid levels and water retention and pregnancy cravings and so on...
post #15 of 35
11/8/10 at 7:26pm
At the library that I frequent with my 2 year old the librarian said "wow mama, you're getting fat". "Thanks" I said sarcastically and walked away.

Sometimes I'll talk with people about how "don't you think it's funny how people feel they can comment about the size of a women's body just because she's pregnant?" That sometimes gives them the hint that it's not polite to comment on a pregnant women's size, not matter if she's "big" or "small". IMO the only safe comment to a pregnant women is "you look great!"

Or if you're feeling especially snarky to the the person asking if you're having twins you could say. "No, I'm just extra fat because I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?"
post #16 of 35
11/8/10 at 7:56pm
I get it all. the. time. I wish I had the balls to answer, 'Twins, yeah, but we're only keeping one of them.' Let em deal with that reaction.
post #17 of 35
11/8/10 at 7:57pm
I had the exact opposite issue.
I WAS pregnant with twins and random people would make comments like "wow, you look small!" or "There is no way you're X # of weeks pregnant!" or "Are you sure there are 2 in there? So and So was twice your size with her twins" comments... it really hurt and caused me to worry that something was wrong since it was my first pregnancy and I was already freaked out about my unplanned pregnancy AND multiples.

After that, I learned to just say "Wow, you look fantastic, grats on the pregnancy!" to all my pregnant friends. No one should comment on how big/small a pregnant lady looks.
post #18 of 35
11/8/10 at 8:49pm
I have found people say the most amazingly rude things sometimes when one is pregnant. I have heard it all, LOL. No one ever asked if I was expecting twins when I was and now they ask every time since saying how huge I am.
post #19 of 35
11/8/10 at 9:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nova22 View Post
Person 1: "Are you having twins?"
Person 2: "Why do you ask?"
Person 1: forced to say "because I think you look gigantic" or "because I'm nosy" or an awkward "oh, just curious" while suddenly realizing the rudeness of the question.
That is a GREAT response, wish I had thought of it when one of my students asked me. Sometimes I think people mean well, they just don't speak well.
post #20 of 35
11/8/10 at 9:18pm
Im pregnant with twins and look huge to me but get ppl saying no way you're pregnant with twins, you're too small!!!!!!
Its like people just want to be rude or something!!
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