Asked "are you having twins?" - Page 2

[goldingoddess]

Honestly, I lie to people when they ask how far along I am. I say a month ahead of what I am because I know that getting the 'you're so big' comment would ruin my week. Call me crazy, but I do it to protect my feelings.

[weliveintheforest]

Originally Posted by Strong Mama

Im pregnant with twins and look huge to me but get ppl saying no way you're pregnant with twins, you're too small!!!!!!
Its like people just want to be rude or something!!

I think people think small is a compliment

I haven't gotten the twin thing, but I got lots of "You look ready to pop!" which was really unpleasant.

[Mamatoabunch]

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest

but I got lots of "You look ready to pop!" which was really unpleasant.

I dislike that comment the most.

[3xMama]

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest

I think people think small is a compliment

I haven't gotten the twin thing, but I got lots of "You look ready to pop!" which was really unpleasant.

I hate hearing "You look small!" I'm somewhat heavy so hearing "you look small" is like hearing "Wow, you're so fat I can hardly tell you're pregnant!", at least to me.

I think that the only acceptable comments anyone should make to a pregnant lady about how she looks is either that she's glowing or that she looks fabulous. No further elaboration required.

[Family4Christ]

I guess people see me out in public with five kids seven and under, the youngest of whom is almost two but looks and acts more like a 12mo old, and figure there's no hope for me now.

[babygrey]

I'm short and small-framed. I show early and I carry ALL in the front- despite not gaining much weight. I swear, with my first two pgs, this was one of the most annoying comments and it happened all. the. time. I wasn't ever actually upset about being so big, so it didn't bother me on that level- it just bothered me that complete strangers would feel the need to discuss my size and weight gain.

At first, I used the "why do you ask?" response, but it turns out strangers in my area have no filter. They'd say "oh because you're just SO BIG" I'd try to just smile and say thanks, but that gets wearing, so by the end of DD's pg, when ppl would ask "are you sure there's only one in there?" (haha... ) I'd say "well, sometimes, you just never know, do you?" and walk away.

Gotta tell you, this is a bright spot of my twin pg- being able to deadpan "yes. I am having twins." The shock on their faces is priceless. Seems, around here, people really aren't expecting you to say yes. (which, somehow makes the comment seem all the more rude to me...)

[MyFullHouse]

To me, that's the same as asking random strangers when they're due, only to put them in the position of admitting they aren't pregnant! Either way, the offending party is implying the woman is large enough to be carrying a baby that doesn't actually exist.

Allowable questions:
"When are you due?"
"Do you know the gender?"
"Are the kids getting excited?"
"How are you feeling?"

Allowable follow up responses:
"Congratulations!"
"That's nice!"
"Let me know if you need anything!"

End of story!

[splath]

I get the "You look like you're ready to pop" daily, and have since I was about 6 months.  I also get people that argue with me about when I'm due (um, I think I would know), and then ask me if it's twins.  It's almost made me want to be a hermit.

[nova22]

It's so annoying; if you're pregnant, you can't make ANYONE happy. You're either too big, too small, eating too healthily, eating too much junk, doing too much, doing too little...ugh!

I shared the link to my maternity photos with my MIL and we were talking on the phone when she looked at them. She had this soft, breathy voice and she said: "Ohhhh, look at the kids...aren't they sweet! Oh, look at Veronica, what a cutie. And Ohhhhhhhh, look at you! You're....HUGE!" I said in my most sarcastic voice possible, "Gee, thanks." She said, "What, are you offended? I'm huge too, you know." (She is trying to lose about 10 pounds, by the way, and no one is CALLING HER HUGE. There is a bit of a difference.) 

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest 

I haven't gotten the twin thing, but I got lots of "You look ready to pop!" which was really unpleasant.

That is by far my least favorite comment. I am usually pretty polite despite comments that rub me the wrong way, but I have a hard time being civil after hearing that. I respond with "I'm pregnant, I'm not a sheet of bubble wrap," or "I'm pretty sure that's not how babies are born."
 

Originally Posted by MyFullHouse 

Allowable questions:
"When are you due?"
"Do you know the gender?"
"Are the kids getting excited?"
"How are you feeling?"

Allowable follow up responses:
"Congratulations!"
"That's nice!"
"Let me know if you need anything!"

End of story!

AGREED. Even some of those allowable questions can get annoying after being heard every.single.day by complete strangers, but they are a whole lot better than any type of size comment or personal judgement or (has anyone mentioned this yet?) tales of how terrifying their own labor and delivery was.

As far as I'm concerned, the things people can say to me without me getting annoyed are:

"You look great!"
"You look wonderful!"
"You look amazing!"
"You look beautiful!"

End of story. I'm not vain, but I do feel like a giant greasy smelly lump when I'm pregnant. Compliments cheer me up a bit and make me think maybe I'm being too critical. Maybe.

[mylilmonkeys]

I'm carrying twins, too, and got the "too small" comment a couple weeks ago.  I've ballooned since then.  Wonder if my commentor will be more approving if we run into each other again? 

I've been getting the "How are you feeling?" a lot!  It's starting to drive me crazy.  Let's see, pregnant with #s 7 and 8, dh working full time and in school full time, running ragged trying to keep up with my middle school kids and make sure my younger kids are getting all their homework done and at least a little bit of attention....Really, you don't want to know. 

[Hope4six]

Splath, don't you wonder why people think they can argue with you about your due date?  It's not like we're ignorant or something.  I'm only 4 months along, and I've already gotten the twins comments, and the look of shock when they ask my due date.

I'm not sure why so many feel compelled to comment to pregnant women, since so many of those comments are either negative, or easily construed as negative (let's face it, we're over-loaded on hormones!).

I had a really horrible day a couple weeks ago.  I heard all sort of comments, ranging from the nicest "wow, baby has really been growing!" to "are you really sure there's only one in there?"  The worst?  "I heard you're having twins."  Um, hello, how would you have heard that?  Was that supposed to be a lead-in line for me to follow, with "Yes, of course, please congratulate me?"  I simply looked as puzzled as possible, which made them change the subject.  I hadn't spoken to this person in months; wouldn't a simple congratulations have been enough? <sigh>

To the OP, yes! so many of us have been there, and because of it we've learned the nice things to say to pregnant women.

[WifeofAnt]

My dad called me 'Moby Dick'... (if MDC censors that its the really big whale).  Yeah, thanks Dad.  He seems to think I'm going to have a 10 lb baby too.

[sonshine_rae]

I think most people just 'don't think' .. brain's are turned off or something.

Somehow they .. not using their brains.. find it highly amusing to tell someone they look like they are having twins, or say in a threatening tone 'do you know if it's twins or not' ...... my 5 yr old blabbed to some random lady in a store that we were having another baby and her immediate response was 'oh maybe it's twins this time' ........ I was only 8 weeks along and NOT showing.  I just kind of laughed it off.. sigh

That's something my FIL has said in three of my pregnancies.. still waiting to hear him joke if it's twins this time or not.  Might just tell him we don't know :P ha!

[pearl2]

The last pregnancy there was a woman who would not stop with the comments. We were at a faculty meeting and she asked me AGAIN very loudly, since she had an audience, if I was sure I wasn't having twins. Of course, other women were horrified for me. I just looked her square in the face and said, "Why don't you crawl up there and find out for yourself since you are so hellbent on asking me that question 4 times a week? Report back to the group what you see." There was a small applause as her face turned beet red. Serves her right. I suppose she had said several comments to other pregnant teachers, as there were about 4 or 5 of us. One of them I didn't know very well actually thanked me in the hall the next day. 

As for the "popping" questions, I have been known to say, "Watch out! I bet my water might break all over your expensive shoes there. I hear amniotic fluid is hard to clean!" Then they usually slink away. 

I have had and will have many more opportunities in life to be a sweet, uplifting, gracious woman. Pregnancy is NOT one of those times for me. 

[Twinklefae]

Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch 

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest

but I got lots of "You look ready to pop!" which was really unpleasant.

I dislike that comment the most.

Me too.  Last time I got into an argument with some childless man who would. not. believe. that I was due when I was.  "There's no way you'll make it!"  Hahaha.

Couldn't make him understand that a) he was wrong and b) if he was right it wouldn't be a good thing.