Please and thanks, ladies

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It sounds like your seatbelt is not locked. In many cars, you can lock the shoulder belt by pulling it all the way out, and releasing it. It should "click" as it ratchets back in, and then you will not be able to loosen it without unbuckling the belt. You would do this after installing the seat, and then tighten it further by pulling any slack out of the lap portion, while pushing down on the seat. If you have an older car, your seatbelt may not "lock", in which case you will need to use the locking clip which came with the seatbelt. I am not an expert at how exactly to use a locking clip (You carseat manual should explain it, though) but I am sure someone else on here can explain.
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I agree that something is wrong, because I can install our MR in 2 minutes. it's should just be: pull seatbelt through slot (the one that threads under the legs), pull tight, and lock seatbelt (either using the car's seatbelt locking mechanism if it has one, or a locking clip (check the car's user manual, the carseat's manual has instructions on how to use a locking clip, if you need the clip and don't have it they are available at most stores that sell carseats). sometimes it takes two people to do the install, just because it's hard to reach over the carseat, but it's possible to do it with just one person.Â
A lot of times police officers and firefighters are well-meaning and want to help, but that doesn't mean they are CPS techs. You should defiently try and find someone local who is a tech and can help you. At a real car seat check they have you install the seat they don't do it for you so you will leave knowing how to do it. That's how we are taught in training so I would be concerned anytime you go somehwere and they don't do this 
I had a similar issue with mine in my forester. We used a latch plate and also twisted the buckle around once before fastening the seatbelt. The little twist was what helped make it fit tight. It was a bit of a pain to force it to latch that tight, but very well worth it( the seat won't budge and inch now). The tech I saw also said to take a swim noodle and cut it in half width wise and shove it under the bottom to get the angle just right for rear facing. If you want I can take a picture of what we did to make it work if it will help.