So frustrated with the system!

[jillybeans]

This is kind of a rant.

We don't vax our kids, but when we had to take 2yo FD to a doc appt (with her caseworker) the CW told us she had to get the flu shot. I protested, but she said it was "in the book" So she got it.

That was two weeks ago. Today I pick up FD from her visit with Mom. We get to talking and I mention her new doc, that she'd had the flu shot, etc etc. Mom flipped. She had NOT planned on getting FD the flu shot and even though FD was completely vaxed, had planned on stopping all vaxes from here on out. It just makes me so sad! She was so angry at DCW for "not asking".

Have any of you run into a similar situation? It's so frustrating that both the bio mom and my dh and I agree she shouldn't be vaxed and the "system" requires it. *sigh*

[heatherdeg]

I'm not sure it would have mattered even if the DCW had asked the mother. In fact, if the child's been fully vaxed and bm is planning to stop, I'm wondering if they will attempt to bury her with it on the grounds of medical negligence, mental instability, whatever.

Sad, but horribly possible.

We had to fight about flu shot with our ad (who was a ward of the state, but a SafeHaven baby placed with a goal of adoption at 12 days old). She was under 6mo and not attending daycare--so why did she need the shot? In the end, the ped wrote up that it wasn't recommended under 6mo anyway. That's how crazy it was.

In NJ, there was a case where the bps were losing rights and were allowing relatives to adopt. All of them with the exact same religious beliefs--which were anti-vax in nature. Because the state was facilitating the removal and adoption of the kids (even though it was within a family unit), they were delaying the adoption finalization pending the child being vaxed. (I'm not sure how that one ended).

[marsupial-mom]

We vax but that would make me angry too. Medical decisions are supposed to be the legal parents/guardians untill/unless rights are terminated. Even if I didn't agree with birthmom's wishes regarding optional medical treatment like the flu shot, I'd follow them!

Our first Foster baby went to the hospital for a serious illness (RSV + he had a heart condition). When that happens, they're supposed to contact the birth family so they can come visit and/or make important decisions. Our caseworkers didn't bother getting ahold of the family and neither did the hospital even though they had the info. I almost called them myself but I was worried it might jeopardize our foster license. If I'm ever in that situation again I'll contact the family. It's too important!

Can you imagine? You're kid could die in fostercare and some caseworkers wouldn't contact you right away. This system has a ton ofroom for improvement!!!

[jillybeans]

Our bio mom didn't even know her daughter had been moved to a new home (was with the last 12 weeks) until I showed up to drop her off at a visit and she was like "who are you?" grrr

[Polliwog]

In my area, the parents often don't get to make those decisions. The ones that I'm allowed to decide (like flu vaxes,) I decide. The ones that need approval, DSS has the authority to make those decisions. But, I've been lucky, I've never been asked to do something medically that I didn't think was the right thing to do.

[bella99]

Unless the bio-mom had explicitly removed consent for the child to be vaccinated, it probably wouldn't have matter that she "planned" to stop. Quiet honestly, I'm sure there was some level of assuming implied consent there, because the child had been fully vaccinated up until that point. Sometimes for certain medical procedures, the bio-parents are involved in the process of getting consent, but not always.

I worked with a bio-mom who had attained a religious exemption for children regarding their schooling with regard to vaccinations (kind of ironic in a way). When the children were removed from her care, it would have taken a court order to get the kids vaccinated by the local DSS, because the refusal was already on file (that's the difference I think). DSS never bothered getting the court order, but their vaccinations were updated after her rights were terminated two years later.