HELLO FELLOW MOMMIES!!
I just wanted to share the
! I came across an old thread in the midst of a long search. In reading I was taken aback by how warm and comforting you all were to a fellow Mommy who had a similar, tragic, unforgettable experience much like mine. I had an incident in which my 6 week old fell off the bed on to the hardwood, while I was nursing and leaning back in the MIDDLE OF THE BED!!
At the time, my husband was out of town, I was without my car, my Dad was in the hospital and there was no one to take me to the ER. Luckily, my neighbor, who just happens to be a ped. nurse was home sick and she made sure he was ok....I have literally carried this horrid guilt with me for over 2 years.... Thinking what kind Mommy could drop their brand new baby??I have looked everywhere for any info on the particular accident and sadly, there seems to be nothing but "perfect robotic JUDGMENTAL parents on the web. "MOTHERING" came to me exactly when I needed help and even though the posted comments where not to me, I felt as if they were.
I am in the process of trying to reclaim my own life and find out what makes me.... well.... me. During this new beginning... I am determined to let go of guilt, grieve what needs to be grieved, except what i can not change and find parts of myself i've lost along the way... I had a dream last night and much like earlier reoccurring dreams I found myself awake and in tears... So at 3:30am...I realized how much of an impact this accident and subsequently the insanely rude, "better than thou" responses I've received from any other Mother has really made on me and how i perceive myself as a Mother...
I look forward to getting to know each of you and hope that maybe I can be a warm hug and friend when someone needs both!
with much admiration~
~M~
