sahms, what do I do?

[craft_media_hero]

Hi, mommas.

I'm currently an overwhelmed student mama with two part-time wahm/wohm jobs, a homeschooling 7yo dd, and a 3.5mo ds. I am realizing that my current situation is not working out.

I was a sahm for most of my pregnancy, and then received two "great opportunities" for work, and started a new semester of online classes soon after the baby was born.

Now both jobs are not cracking up to be all they promised, and I'm really feeling torn and resentful because I just want to really dig in with my kids

My dh was unemployed which was part of my motivation in working, but now he has a pretty promising "temporary" position which he'll probably be able to transfer into something permanent.

One job is just one night a week, and the kids stay w/ dad, but I have to do a lot of prep stuff during the day when dh is away, and I simply cannot get out there (I have to work in the cold garage, my "studio") to work for any period of time with the baby---as soon as I get started, he wakes up from a nap, etc. So this is my fun job but less stable, my contract goes month to month.

My other job is more stable and I make more $, but less fun, more bureaucratic, less self-led, and in general just lately. I was originally hired while pg with the understanding that I would be able to bring the baby until he was 6mo; well they reneged on that and though I can bring him in for really short (like 15 min to drop off mail), now my boss is asking me to do 4 hr. inservices sans baby.

We have no real family support for daycare . . . I guess I'd feel different if I could drop them off with gramma for a half day.

Honestly, I don't want to do either job anymore and just don't know how to back out! Plus dh is not 100% on board with me solely sahm-ing; he's totally fine with paying all the bills, mortgage, etc. but we both have student loans which I pay as well as other needs, too.

I keep saying to myself, oh I'll just hang on til _____ but then I think, geez my baby will be 10mos by then; I don't want to basically miss out on his first year because I'm trying to force in this work time . . . and in the meantime (which seems like a long time!) I'm just not excelling where I most especially want to be excelling, at home with my kids!

I know this is really long. TIA if you got this far.

[ShwarmaQueen]

No advice, just a

I had to go back to work when DD was 7 mos and it nearly killed me, so I know what you're going through. You do what you gotta do to survive though.

[happysmileylady]

What about trying something like a home party company? There's all sorts of them-Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Creative Memories, "romance" companies etc etc. That way you can totally take baby with you, you are setting your own schedule so if you don't want to take baby, you can work when your DH can take care of him.

Or, going to work in a daycare so you can bring baby? Or taking on a few kids in your own home to babysit?

[pearl2]

Are there homeschool coalitions/co-ops there? My friend is encouraging me to teach specialty classes to the upper-level students, like designing a 6-week mini course on different topics like poetry, and charging $10-15 per kid an hour with a cap of like 5-6 kids per session. She said they'd eat that up and it would be well-received. Maybe something like that where you can use your expertise to design your own schedule, and you could certainly have the baby there. You can look into public meeting spaces so you wouldn't have any rental costs. 

I periodically check testing sites like ETS, Pearson, etc. to see if there are opportunities to proctor the SAT, ACT, etc. 

P.S. I was also teaching a few nights outside the home with a lot of prepwork and taking an online class...I waited too long to drop the class, but did anyway because I couldn't keep up. While it sucked to be out of $186, it didn't go on a transcript since I was registered as a "special student" and I was much happier. I am assuming the semester is almost up for you, so could you ride it out and just cut back next semester? 

[craft_media_hero]

NAK

Great ideas, Pearl, thanks. Especially abt proctoring, and I could def teach an art class for kids or maybe a k-3 math lab.

I'm trying to ride it out for now, til the New Year. The online class is the least stressful; I'm a pretty quick study and good test-taker, so as long as I have a few hrs on test day then  I'm good. Next sem. a class I need is offered with the same prof, so after that I only need one on-campus class and then I graduate! :joy

I think I need to quit my bf counselor job. I've been there six mo. and that's enough for a resume/reference before I crash and burn from not being able to follow through on my duties.

[pearl2]

I think an art class would be SO FUN. Seriously, do something that would be fun and bring in $$. I myself have found a test item writing gig that I am going to apply for and see what happens. 

[camprunner]

Can you drop one for now?  I was working two jobs from home last year (with dh also at home helping watch the kids) and found that I just needed a break.  I would have quit everything if  I wasn't the main source of income. This year, I dropped just the one and it is way more doable. I would keep the one that let me spend more time with my kids. The one I kept gave me a more flexible schedule which is what I needed.

[craft_media_hero]

Originally Posted by camprunner 

Can you drop one for now?  I was working two jobs from home last year (with dh also at home helping watch the kids) and found that I just needed a break.  I would have quit everything if  I wasn't the main source of income. This year, I dropped just the one and it is way more doable. I would keep the one that let me spend more time with my kids. The one I kept gave me a more flexible schedule which is what I needed.

That's what I'm thinking about right now. When my dh gets home, I'm going to talk to him about it. I talked to my boss today and she said that we could hold off on the class I teach for a couple of months. So maybe I will, but that job is the easy/fun one! :) Still figuring it out . . .