Having to get along with other parents to keep things going...

[ankh]

I feel like I'm complaining about something silly as we are now living a thriving home school community in a city in the UK. My biggest problem is fitting in books between science/museum/drama/dance and social jollies. So great, right? we  are no longer are living in a cave wearing weird clothes, talking to ourselves...blah blah blah...

My problem is some of the other Mothers...it's exhausting listening/talking to them for hours when I know we will never see eye to eye. I was recently "punished" by another Mum when she uninvited us to her Halloween party due to problems with her son and mine.. long story, but it was a strange thing to do considering the situation. I did consider her a  friend, and after a few very strange texts and conversations, I now realize that sometimes I may not have the best judgment in people.. I do, however still need to see her as we will be going to some of the same home school stuff, so unavoidable. I will be civil, but blergh.

How does every else cope with the home school dramas?

[Breathless Wonder]

I don't have an answer for you, but just wanted you to know you aren't alone.  I was just discussing this with a friend at a birthday party over the weekend.  It's exasperating, to say the least.

[Callimom]

Oh that stuff sucks.

We have a large enough homeschool group that I just avoid the drama queens.

[Jennifer3141]

Isn't it funny how "socialization" applies to the mamas as much as the kids when it comes to the practice of it?? Didn't the bulk of the homeschool co-op moms go to school? What the heck happened?? They are supposed to be socialized.

I dropped out of our larger group as far as weekly stuff is concerned. Find some other "outcast" mamas. Odds are, you're not the only one rather disenchanted. I made a core group of two other mamas and we are tight. We go to the larger group stuff together so we're not hanging off the side alone. And darned if our kids don't prefer the company of each other more than just roaming free in the big group because these other mamas and I share the same core values. We all met in the large group and we found each other by watching each other not really interacting comfortably. I made friends with a mom whose kids are a little offbeat and then she introduced me to her friend who has now become my friend too.

Depending upon the size of this group though, there has to be at least one other mama who feels just off from the group. Look for the mama standing off to the side alone and go up to her. It may take a few attempts but you'll get through to her. I hate meeting new people but I did it because I was starting to dread going to the big group and finding really good reasons not to go.

And good luck, mama! It can really suck when you're in this awkward space all alone.

Jen

[ankh]

Thank you all. Am off to Science today to face the music..

[ikesmom]

Well I think its up to you to decide how you will interact with her and the rest of the group. Don't let her attitude affect how engaged you are with others in the group if you desire to be involved in something. I don't know how much structure your co-op involves so if you can come and go as you wish great. You could just play dumb like you have no idea that she is scowling behind you.  If you have to commit then you might just consider smoothing the wrinkles and briefly giving her a smile and a few kind words like " I hope we can make peace" or even "hows your week" or "have a great weekend". I haven't had this situation in our hs group , but I have had it in the workplace. Most people find it difficult to stay angry when the other person seems so pleasant. 

Good Luck

P.S If the other mom's notice this you may find a few of them will seek you out and you will have yourself good company 

[ankh]

 Indeed. I confronted her today and got quite confused in the process. I'm not really going to worry about it as I have realised how terribly sad and insecure she is.. I have met some amazing people in the home school community and some really unhappy people, like all walks of life I suppose. I have realised, however that this crap does not end as you get older. So lesson learnt.

[rumi]

I'm not really going to worry about it as I have realised how terribly sad and insecure she is

I have on more than one occasion found this to be the case when someone got bent out of shape about something I said / did.  I try to understand their concerns, try politely but firmly to explain, to no avail.  Just when my frustration was peaking, I realized that the problem lay elsewhere and the best thing I could do was drop the matter.  What I have recognized is that some problems don't get solved, but just diminish into insignificance due to bigger problems or higher priorities.

Also I have discovered that it does not matter that much how closely my hs philosophy matches with that of another family, as the primary purpose of our getting together is for the kids to have fun and see that others hs as well.  We take care of our academics ourselves.  I have realized that it doesn't even matter if the other parents' goal is to evangelize to me (I seem to be a favourite target for this), I can just smile through it and the kids can play just fine.  So I try to look at the bright side and see "having to get along" as yet another useful skill that we can practice for ourselves and model for our children.