Long distance relationships....

[Celtain]

Do they ever really work?  I have "met" a guy that lives over a thousand miles away from me.  We went to high school together, so he isn't a stranger by any means but we also haven't spent any meaningful time face to face in 20 years.  We just click on so many levels.  He has mentioned that he has thought about moving home before but I am making it harder for him to stay where he is    So, has anyone ever had a long distance relationship work?

[kissum]

Yes, they can. I actually really enjoyed my long distance relationship with my now DH. We lived about a 12 hr drive from each other. It was really nice, since we had a lot of long phone calls and had tons of time to just concentrate on learning about each other. We obviously eventually moved close to each other, but the year of long distance was great. It's hard, but it has it's benefits too.

[Halfasianmomma]

I've had 2 long term long distance relationships. They both didn't work out mostly because moving wasn't an option for either partner at the time. I think they can work for a certain period of time, however, once things get serious, you tend to need "face time" to really assess whether or not you're compatible. For example...I had a great long distance relationship with a guy from California (I live in Quebec)...it worked while the relationship was still in its infancy, but as soon as I went to live with him for 3 weeks one summer, I realized that the guy wanted a mommy, not a partner. It fizzled soon after.

[montlake]

Yes they can work. My husband and I were long distance for 3 years. Didn't even get to visit for the last 12 months before he finally moved here.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by kissum 

Yes, they can. I actually really enjoyed my long distance relationship with my now DH. We lived about a 12 hr drive from each other. It was really nice, since we had a lot of long phone calls and had tons of time to just concentrate on learning about each other. We obviously eventually moved close to each other, but the year of long distance was great. It's hard, but it has it's benefits too.

Yup, that. While at times a long distance relationship can really suck, it does have benefits! I feel like dp and I really got to know each other on a deeper level while we were long distance. When you have a typical relationship there is so much pressure on everything physical (from the way you look to if/when/how far to go with kissing/sex/ect). In a long distance relationship there is none of that. I talked to dp on the phone while wearing sweats, while wearing pj's, while jogging, while sitting in the bath, while cooking dinner, etc. It didn't matter. I didn't have to worry about "does my hair look okay?". Since all of that stuff was out of the way it opened up a whole new opportunity to talk about other things.

DP and I were long distance for a couple years (over a year of which we were just talking, had never even met in person). We've been living together for over 3 years now. January 1st marks 2 years since we've been engaged (and is our wedding date!). We are very happy

The downside- sometimes I feel like we never really got to date. After we met in person we traded weekends- every 4 weekends he would drive to Michigan and every 4 weekends I would drive to Kentucky (so we were seeing each other every other weekend). When I drove to Kentucky I had ds with me, so no "dates" happened then. When he drove to Michigan we would sometimes sneak in 1 childless date, but otherwise we hung out with all 3 of us. When we moved in with dp it took me a long (LONG) time to trust anyone enough to watch ds so dp and I could go on a date. We now go on a date about 4-5 times a year.

[Celtain]

WOW, thank you so much mamas!  I have been so afraid to "get involved" simply because of the distance.  It seems a little less daunting now!  I have a wicked nasty habit of settling for a guy that physically available because I hate being alone.  This man is mental and emotional stable and avavilable.  I have a lot more confidence about giving this a real shot to happen now