What do you do for clothing issues?

[baby-makes-3]

Instead of typing a novel, (which I could!), suffice to say that DD has serious sensory issues with her clothing.   Lots of other issues that relate to that, but we pretty much got it under control with FG diet over the summer last spring, and summer was pretty calm, or manageable, with a few outbursts, but nothing like before.

Now that November is here, her clothing issues are BACK.  We don' t know if something is sneaking into her diet, but basically she fights with all her clothing now and even has issues with things she wore fine a months ago.   Ripping underwear, throwing things across the room, etc.  Huge meltdowns. 

Are there any practical tips anyone has for handling this?   Someone suggested the brushing, but everywhere I've tried to get one, it's considered a "medical" product.  We have a mini trampoline and try to do some bouncing, but she digs her feet in the ground when she knows I want her to do something and won't do it.

Lastly, how do YOU emotionally deal?  My frustration level is maxed sometimes and I just feel like crying because  I feel so helpless to help her. Really even my presense in the room seems to make things escalate sometimes, and I just walk away and let her work it out (sometimes leaving her does seem to help her calm down, but sometimes she says she wants me there).  Argh.  Any suggestions??  (Typed a novel anyway....)

[NataliaI]

My youngest is very sensitive to clothing -- and I used to have huge issues feeling like I was being choked when anything touched my neck.  We both feel better with homeopathic treatment which has several remedies listed with the rubric "clothing, intolerance."  I recently blogged about a few homeopathic remedies that are often prescribed for children with clothing intolerance challenges and also about using EFT for dealing with these issues -- from both the mother's and child's perspective.  Hope something there helps.

DS still wears all of his socks inside out, but he does wear them.

[mrsfru]

Has she grown at all in the last few months? A growth spurt may have made thing fit a bit snugger (even if they do technically still "fit") and might be bothering her. 

[baby-makes-3]

Thanks Natalia, I checked out your blog and may try some different remedies.  We went to a naturopath who focusses on homeopathy and he stuck with chamomila as her remedy, though I didn't think it was doing much good.  It was an expensive endeavor to go as a new patient and get established.  It's not practical for us to do that again with another one, I think I'm going to have to try it myself...

As far as growing, yes she has had a spurt lately, but she currently "should" wear size 4 underwear (according to the specs on the back of the package), but we have size 6 and she still says they are too small. 

[NataliaI]

If you don't see results from a remedy, your homeopath should (at the next visit) adjust the potency or give you another.

If one of the remedies discussed does like a match, try it on your own.  If you see any results, I'd love to hear.  Send me a pm here or comment on the blog. 

[nayma]

hi.  just want to pop in and say i know how hard this is, and i'm sorry you're dealing with it .  dd (4) had the most HORRIBLE time with clothing (wouldn't wear clothes, would strip completely in public, etc.), and i thought it'd never get better.  it did get better, though i think some of it is me being more attuned to her, and some of it is her growing up in ways.  i wish i could say there was some magic wand to wave, but i don't think there is.  the brushing stuff never did anything for dd, and fwiw, that little brush is certainly NOT a piece of medical equiptment.  what i did was take my fingers and do light strokes all over her legs, arms, back, etc.  sometimes she was into it, and sometimes she wasn't.  i also found that even though she seemd to hate clothing, she liked tight things - leotards, unitards, pajamas, etc.  i started really, completely letting her pick her clothing for a while, and even took her shopping and let her pick out several things - this was when she was 2 1/2- lol!  whenever we're home, she pretty much always has a leotard on!...  so, i guess what i'm trying to say is that it will get better - unfortunately not today or tomorrow, but at some point.  and in the meantime, i'd just let her pick whatever, and discuss it as little as possible.  good luck, mama!!

[nayma]

and another thing, if she's wearing pants, i don't push underwear.  and unless it's 20 degrees outside, i don't push socks.  i pick my battles, and those two are easy ones for me to give up.  that said, she has one heck of a plumber's crack showing sometimes - lol!!

[mrsfru]

Well, if leotards and such make her feel better....it could be that loose things rubbing lightly make her crazy.  I don't like tight stuff like leotards, but I also really don't like things that tickle or flutter.  Tighter clothing may also make her feel more grounded.  You could try getting her some cami style undershirts from somewhere that are really soft, but snug, to wear underneath things....it would block the rubbing of clothes and snug her in. 

Soft is the main thing that my son prefers--can't be "scrapey" as he calls it (and what he calls scrapey, most people would be more than fine with!).  Socks rarely stay on long. Croc-style shoes are generally preferred.  We LOVE Polliwalks, which you can find at Stride Rite and on line at Zappos.com and 6pm.com.  The sizing is even and no "double sizes" like Crocs (8/9 or 10/11).  We're not having a lot of trouble w/the other clothes right now...but GapKids and Hannah Anderson's are really soft brands.  Gymboree and Janie and Jack are also softer and aren't loaded w/polyester and acrylic.  We bought a pair of Tsukihoshi sneakers a few sizes back, and they were great! Machine washable, super lightweight (so good for kids who don't like shoes or have low tone), and easy to take on and off. 

It took ds until very recently to explain and even use his word, "scrapey", and he's 5!

GL

[ktgrok]

Try no underwear.  With loose sweatpants.

[deditus]

My daughter is the same way. Diet definitely helped! But still, she really needs some good activity to keep her calm and it can be difficult especially going into winter. Swinging really helps, especially on her belly. Jumping, dance class, rocking, gymnastics class. She just seems to need "more" input than most kids to keep her system calmed down so we try to get in at least a good hour of vigorous physical activity a day, a few shorter chunks of moderate activity, and some sensory/fine motor activity like playdough (we use gf & sf Soy-Yer Dough) or beading or painting. Chewing gum helps, too! I went to Evilmart (not a place I like to support) and found some nice soft sweatpants and some yoga pants that she tolerates, socks go inside out and must be solid color. Old Navy had some pretty soft tees.

I too have a hard time keeping calm (especially when she is freaking out for like 2 hours before she can get her clothes on to get out the door), but really I try to remember how calming and soothing it must have been to nurse (I weaned her in March at 3.5) or be worn (which I can't do anymore but did until this spring) and that she doesn't have those things anymore and needs time to figure out what else will calm her. I sucked my thumb from the time I weaned at about 21 months until I was 10 so I distinctly remember the comfort that sucking gave me.

[earthmama369]

DS (4) has sensory issues and clothing can be a big issue for him. I say this as he spins across the room in a cat-costume leotard and tutu and throws himself gleefully over the end of the couch into a headstand. Over and over again. *lol*

I've found that the two big seasonal shifts -- moving into winter and moving into summer -- we always see a swing of heightened clothing issues. He just doesn't do well with the transition. It generally lasts a couple of months and then he mostly settles back into his usual pattern with clothing and sensory issues, which is still present but much less marked. As he gets older, we're still figuring out how to smooth the transition a bit, but there are a few things that have made it easier for all of us.

-Unless he's at serious risk for frostbite or heat exhaustion, I don't worry too much about his clothing choices, whether or not they're "weather appropriate." Likewise, as long as his privates are covered, I don't worry about gender, color combinations, etc. The only hill I've chosen to die on is wearing socks, because his feet seriously stink when he wears just shoes or boots. Luckily, as long as he also gets to put socks on his hands, he'll put socks on his feet most days.

-I experimented with him choosing his own clothes at the store and he just can't predict what's actually going to feel good against his skin after it's washed, when he's wearing it for hours, etc. So now I choose the clothing we get for him, and he chooses his own outfits from his closet. When he feels overwhelmed, we've worked to give him words and a routine for asking someone else to choose his outfit for him. I buy a range of clothing for him, from soft to textured, because his sensory needs change from day to day. Sometimes seams actually feel good to him. Other days, they make him scream.

-As long as they cover his privates, our bin of dress-up clothes is fair game.

-When he locks up and gets too frustrated to pick out clothes but won't accept anything anyone else chooses for him, and we need to get out the door on time, doing something like setting a timer for him just puts pressure on the keg of explosives. Not good. Instead, I'll grab an outfit or two and toss them in a bag and send him out to the car in his pajamas. He may or may not wear the pajamas for the rest of the day, but we have an option for him when he settles himself into his skin better. That usually happens by noon. (As he gets older, we're planning to transition him away from "Mama packing an extra outfit" to either him being able to settle himself before we leave or him packing his own bag.)

-Sometimes heavy work or the Wilbarger brushing protocol can help get him to where he can stand to pick and wear clothes. I might ask him to push the back of the rocking chair to rock me while I'm sitting in it, or push a full basket of laundry to the washing machine, or carry the tumbling mat to the living room and do some tumbles, then carry it back again. As far as brushing goes, the brush our OT gave us to use with him is exactly the same as the corn desilking brush I got at the grocery store for $2. It's just a different color. In fact, I have a couple extra brushes around here that we haven't used yet. PM me.

[LynnS6]

Has she had occupational therapy? We had amazing success with the Wilbargar brushing protocol. You can get the brush through OT supply stores, but really you should be shown how to do it. the protocol involves not only brushing, but then joint compressions after that. It was meltdowns at the change of season (and seeing my 4 year old nearly pass out from wearing long sleeved flannel shirts in 90 degree heat!) that made us seek out OT.

That being said, my kids do best with tighter fitting, all cotton clothing without seams. Have you tried leggings for your dd? I've had great luck with Target leggings and t-shirts of all things. The leggings are form fitting, but not too tight, and the t-shirts are all cotton. Hanna Anderson makes great, soft undies (pricey, but great). Nordstroms sells seamless socks. You could also try turning the socks inside out so the bulky seams are on the outside. But I agree that socks are optional unless there's a danger of frostbite. And even then, if your boots are warm, who cares? Dd (who didn't go through OT, her sensory issues are milder than ds's) rarely wears socks. I'm OK with that. It's her feet. The only thing I object to is her climbing into bed when I'm sleeping and putting her cold feet on my legs!