Beyond sleep deprived

[pumpkin]

I haven't gotten more than 4 hours of sleep a night in the last 3 weeks. The longest stretch of continuous sleep has been an hour. Most nights I get maybe 3 45 minute chunks. I'm so tired I'm having trouble lifting DD and I have had a few mini panic attacks.

DD has never been a good sleeper. She also refuses to let DH be involved in helping her sleep. 3 weeks ago I left the bed in the middle of the night because I was sick. DD woke up while I was in the bathroom. DH took care of her and she screamed hysterically until I was able to come back. She has been a clingy mess at night ever since.

I don't know what to do. I need sleep. If I leave her with DH she just screams for hours and hours and refuses to sleep. He has been taking her for 30-60 minutes in the morning, the chunk of time between when she wakes up (or I give up putting her back to sleep) and when he has to go to work so I can get a tiny bit of sleep without her climbing on me.

I called MIL and asked for help. She said she could come for a couple of hours, but not until next week. DH said he could call in sick, but he will just want to work the weekend to compensate and that is when I work so that is a no go. DH is really picky about who we use for child care so my options are limited. It doesn't really matter anyway because I need large blocks of sleep, not the 2 hour snippets of daylight napping I eek out if I do have someone to watch her during the day.

[abmom5]

I've had many MANY nights like that over the past 5 years.  My oldest was very high needs as a baby and screamed for hours a night.  My second had major sleep issues - has been to children's hospital, numerous doctors etc and they can't find why she doesn't sleep.  My MIL just told me about some essential oils called "Peace & Calming" that I started dabbing on her head before bed every night and out of the first 15 nights she slept through the night 13 of them!!   This was only a couple months ago and she is almost 4 and had NEVER slept through the night.  I also have used it on myself and it helps with the mini panic attacks.  Might be something you want to look into/try.  Good luck.  Sleep deprivation is TERRIBLE.

[D_McG]

What's going on with her at night?  She's just wide awake?  or waking frequently or what?  (trying to figure out why you're only getting 4 hours).  Have you taken her to the doctor?  Sleep study?  That's well beyond the scope of 'normal' which I assume you're aware of.

At that kind of crisis point I'd be hotel bound for a night.  She'll be fine, seriously.  Just get some sleep and then you can make a plan.

[Hannah32]

Yup, head for a hotel. I've been there and it can get scary. You need rest. Either someone takes over all the nighttime parenting for a night and you put the earplugs in or you leave the home. Know and respect your limits.

[pumpkin]

She will sleep like a rock if I let her sleep on me. The problem is that I can't sleep that way. So I get her to sleep, try to slide her off me, start falling asleep, she wakes up and wants to pin my shoulder with her head. Repeat pattern.



DH did take a long lunch so I could sleep and then I napped with her instead of working. I can't do

That every day because I am getting behind at work.

[D_McG]

sounds like you guys can't sleep comfortably together then.  What alternatives are you open to?  Not everyone can sleep with someone touching them.  Nothing wrong with that!  Be confident that she'll adjust to your needs.  Everyone's primary need here is SLEEP, right?

[lucy_v]

Is she teething? Maybe she needs something to help her sleep better.