Need some advice for an intact little boy

[moss]

An intact little boy that i know has just recently 'discovered' his forskin. He said "i want this off" and "its so sore". He's potty learning and is usually naked from the waist down and has been spending a LOT of time lately playing with his forskin, yoinking on it, stretching it, etc. It's really red from all of this activity (there's no infection or anything like that). Is there some kind of cream or ointment or lubricant that he could be using to make life more comfortable for himself?

[Nathan1097]

Wants "what" off? Surely he can't mean his foreskin! What kid would know about that? And more than that, what kid would THINK it?!

[moss]

Yes, he meant that he wanted his forskin off. Which lead to a brief explanation of why it's there, that it doesnt come off etc. I think he was just curious about what's under there. It doesnt retract at all.

[Nathan1097]

Then how would he know that it could "come off"? Or even that there's a "what's under there'?

[moss]

I dont know how he would know things like that. I was pretty astounded myself when he said that he wanted it off. His dad's intact, and i dont think he's ever seen anyone else's equipment.

Anyways, back to my question, is there something appropriate that he can put on his foreskin that would help it to not hurt while he's pulling at it so much?

[Sarah]

How do you know there is no infection? ... if it's red... and it hurts... and he is constantly fidgiten with it... it sounds to me that there IS something going on- maybe yeast. Why don't you take him to the doctor and get a culture done and see if he has a yeast or bacterial infecion and then treat it with an ointment for that specific thing.

In the mean time you could keep his diapers/pants on with overalls so that he isn't furthering the problem by touching with dirty hands.

Love Sarah

[MamaAllNatural]

I would use caution when taking him to the doctor as many are not familiar with foreskin and want to jump to circumcision. The best thing to start with is a nice hot soak in the bath without any soaps, oils, bubble bath etc. Things like this are irritants that can cause redness. It's good for him to air out as much as possible. It's normal to for them to play with it. I know a lot of moms here will have great suggestions on what to use if it is yeast or a bit of an infection.

[mattemma04]

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[Gitti]

Re: Need some advice for an intact little boy

Originally posted by moss
An intact little boy that i know has just recently 'discovered' his forskin. He said "i want this off" and "its so sore". He's potty learning and is usually naked from the waist down and has been spending a LOT of time lately playing with his forskin, yoinking on it, stretching it, etc. It's really red from all of this activity (there's no infection or anything like that). Is there some kind of cream or ointment or lubricant that he could be using to make life more comfortable for himself?

You did not say how old he was, but if he can not yet talk properly he is probably around two. The foreskin does not retract until about age 5 - if then. It is normal to be tight and it is normal for him to play with it. But is seems bizzare that he would say he wants it "off" - doesn't even make sense. How would he know and why would he want it off? And a normal foreskin does NOT hurt nor does it turn red, except from a diaper rash. The "activity" will not make it soar either. My grandson had his penis in his hand from morning till night at that stage and he never had a problem with it.
Are you the baby sitter?
Here is a little explanation:

When a child is born the foreskin is non-retractile. It is bonded to the glans by a special lining, called the synechia. It is rigid and tight.
At the opening (meatus) there is a sphincter muscle which keeps the foreskin tightly closed and assists in keeping out infection, germs, bacteria, and dirt.
The only thing that should be coming out of the meatus is urine and nothing should be able to get in.
As soon as the child can reach his penis, during diaper changes, he will grab it, pull it, stretch it, and just mess around with it. Every child should be allowed to do that. That is when the synechia gradually disintegrates and results in the foreskin becoming free of the glans and retractable over
it.
But it takes a long time. Most boys are retractable by age 5 but of course that varies from child to child. Some boys don't retract until they are teenagers.
Even when the foreskin retracts, naturally, the child does not need to pull it back to clean underneath it. There is nothing dirty under there, just a bit of smegma which also protects from
infections.
Not until the boy is a teenager does he need to pull back the foreskin to rinse under it. And he will automatically do that.

Warning not to retract and Intact care:
Guidelines for parents and doctors...
http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/aap/
http://www.geocities.com/raisingintactsons/
http://www.cirp.org/library/hygiene/

care before and after puberty...
http://www.cirp.org/library/hygiene/

[moss]

Thanks for all the links, Gitti and for the input from everyone.

I finally got a chance to talk to the resident foreskin expert around here (that would be DH). He said that ds probably knew from seeing dh's intact penis that it is possible for the foreskin to retract. I'm certain that there is no infection. The foreskin is no longer red, there's no swelling and no discharge. DS was just a bit overzealous and there was probably a bit of trauma. Before this happened, i was pretty convinced that a little boy wouldnt actually harm themselves while playing with their foreskin, but obviously that's not always true. We're not going to get him any kind of creams or whatever. DH said that could make the foreskin really slippery and ds could inadvertantly slide it back causing a great deal of pain. Apparently dh did that to himself when he was about 8, and still vividly remembers how much it hurts.

As soon as the child can reach his penis, during diaper changes, he will grab it, pull it, stretch it, and just mess around with it. Every child should be allowed to do that. That is when the synechia gradually disintegrates and results in the foreskin becoming free of the glans and retractable over
it.

I'm sure that this is what's happening. Thanks again.

[Frankly Speaking]

It's my belief that the clinging bits of adhesions during the normal separation process causes an itching feeling in the foreskin. I have no evidence of that or support for my ideas, just from much reading and hearing reports like this. I suspect that with the limited communication skills at this age, that when they are saying "it hurts" they are really saying "it itches." I think this itching causes the incessant "fiddling" with the foreskin. It seems when the separation process is complete, most of the fiddling ceases as well.




Frank

[feebeeglee]

I was just talking about this with DH, because we were amused, as usual, with 1yo DS's utter fascination with his own foreskin. DH said "I bet that must itch, a little... but mostly I bet he's having more fun with that than he would with, oh, his ear..."

As far as him saying "I want it off", we are totally coloring our reactions with the horror of RIC here... my 2yo wanted to take her nose off the other day because the incessant drippiness of it was driving her crazy.

Obviously she has seen far too many 'rhinocision' : victims in her short and innocent life :LOL

So anyway, he didn't mean he wanted a circ, I'm sure!

[moss]

So anyway, he didn't mean he wanted a circ, I'm sure!

I'm sure that's not what he meant either!

[GreenHippieMama]

"rhinocision": that's too funny. Thanks for making me smile,it's been a rough day.