Hi mama... I have a toddler, but I saw your thread on the main page and couldn't help but come give you some support.
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I switched peds when DS was 17 months and he heard a murmur and sent us for an echocardiogram. He chose to send us for an echo because DS's weight gain had plateaued and between 5 months and 17 months, he had only gained 4 pound. He was in the .67th percentile on the growth charts. What our ped told us was that innocent murmurs are REALLY common. He said that most murmurs are completey benign. And that in cases where they do actually find a problem, it's rare for it to be a serious enough problem that it would actually need treatment of some sort.
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Now, in DS's case, he did have to have surgery for an atrial septal defect. And it was one of the scariest things we've ever gone through. But I will also tell you that DS healed marvelously. Within 24 hours of surgery, they had removed all tubes except for 1 IV port that wasn't even hooked up. He was only in the hospital for 4 days (after open heart surgery), and seemed back to his normal self within about a week.
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But to answer your original question, it's really uncommon for a heart murmur to need treatment. I know that doesn't mean much to parents like us who have had kiddos with murmurs that were caused by serious problems. One of the questions I asked after DS's surgery was about the likelihood of any future children having heart defects. And they told me that having one child with a CHD doesn't really increase the chance of having another child with a CHD.
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I know how scary it is facing this possibility. And I'm sure it must be even scarier for you because of the loss of your child due to a CHD. All I can suggest is try to breathe, pray, and get support from your friends and family to help reduce your stress. Do you have a local chapter of Mended Little Hearts? They might have someone you can talk to. Also, you could call the cardio office and ask if they can work you in sooner. It might help if you explained to them about how worried you are and about your previous child. And if they can't move you guys up sooner, then maybe you could just ask to talk to a nurse about your situation. Talk to him/her about the loss of your child and ask about the likelihood of having another child with the same problem.
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One thing that I would take heart in is that there aren't any signs or symptoms other than the murmur. That tells me that, even if there is something amiss, that you guys would be catching before any damage is done. By them time we caught DS's asd his heart was already enlarged to 3 times it's normal size and he was showing signs of pulmonary hypertension and he was in need of immediate repair. My fear is that if we had continued with his previous doctor that we wouldn't have caught it until permenant damage was done. But your daughter isn't showing any signs right now that, even if she didn't have something wrong, that it is affecting her overall health. I take that as a good sign.
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And the last thing that I will say is that if they do need to do something to fix any problems, that very young children heal so much faster than older children and adults. Remember I told you how quickly DS recovered? Well a friend of mine's 12 year old daughter had open heart surgery just 3 weeks before DS (with the same doctors) and it took her almost two months to get back to normal.
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Oh, and where are you located? I don't know how far you are from Oklahoma, but at our children's hospital in Tulsa, we have a world renowned pediatric heart surgeon who was wonderful. He even came in and prayed with us before the surgery. And his cardio's office is equally wonderful, one of the cardio's who has been on his treatment team is the go-to doctor in the region for heart cath's. So if it comes down to it and you need a recommendation for a REALLY good cardio team, and you're willing to travel, let me know.
