Anyone else NOT telling anyone about their name contenders?

[smeep]

I haven't told ANYONE except for DS the possible names for this baby. There's one maybe for a boy, and a strong possibility for a girl (it seriously keeps popping up in my head all the time, I wonder if it's baby trying to tell me something). Of course there are possible middle names that are family names, which I suppose I could spill the beans on, but even those I'm just not really saying anything.

Am I the only one? I don't know why, I just feel like I should keep it between myself, baby and DS (and I'm only letting DS in on the secret because I want him to feel involved and "special" - he's already getting the honour of announcing the baby's gender at the birth).

[kwilki8]

We have never let so much as a hint as to the baby's name out before birth. Partly because we don't really want any feedback about it, partly because it's special to us, and partly because we've never been able to narrow it down to less than 3 or so before the babies were born.

[nova22]

Same here, I haven't even mentioned it on the boards to complete strangers. It does feel special, it's my own little secret. Plus, if I do decide to change it, I don't want people to put up a big fuss and say things like "what happened to the other name?!?" I like to announce the name when I introduce the baby.

[outlier]

We didn't tell anyone our name choices and have no regrets about that whatsoever.  My dh told his family some of our possibiities early in the pregnancy and they took that as an opportunity to thoroughly criticize what we obviously thought were some nice names.  If you don't want that kind of feedback, don't tell people!  Once ds was born and his name was announced, all feedback we received was positive.

[PAgreenmama]

we've already told our maybes to some close friends and i already regret it only because i told myself we were keeping names to ourselves this time!  with dd, we told our families our top choices and when they found out we were having a girl they immediately started calling her by the name we had picked.  luckily we still love the name and we obviously gave it to her but i was so annoyed while pregnant because suddenly the decision was made and it would have been weird to change it after they'd been calling her by one name for several weeks or months.  at least they weren't critical, but still, we don't need help picking a name so i think that we will not tell anyone else our name contenders until after this baby is born!!

[msmiranda]

I am MILITANT about not sharing name possibilities for precisely the reason others mentioned:  when it is still theoretical, people feel free to tell you what they think of the name or what association it has for them.  It is none of anyone's business what I name my child.  During my first pregnancy, I shared a few possibilities with my best friend toward the end of the pregnancy, and I regretted it because she told me a negative association she had with the name that ruined it for me.  (It ended up that she liked the name we finally chose, but I hope she wouldn't have said anything if she didn't).  Part of it for me is that there are very few names that I like and would consider, especially for boys (and I have two already!).  Plus, I just think that naming your child is a very personal thing.  I don't care what my chosen name makes you think of.  What matters is the positive associations I have with it.  And sure enough, once the baby is born no one says boo if they don't like your kid's name.  So DH and I are the only ones who know our possibilities and our chosen names prior to the birth.  And we don't share names that we thought about but didn't use, either.  (Because we might want to use them later!)

Similarly, I would never give someone else input on a name that they are considering or have chosen -- it's none of my business.  I usually don't look at those name threads.  I may say stuff to my DH about a name but I would never say it to the parents of the child. 

[forest~mama]

We didn't tell names to anyone with dd#1 and we won't for this babe either. We also feel that it is special to us.

I have friends who got in a war because one was due in March and the other May. The March mama named her baby the name that the other mama had chosen for a girl. It turned out the May baby was a boy, but it caused some hard feelings!

[starbyfar7]

well we still haven't picked a name.. but in the mean time i've just been telling people that our number 1 contenders are Bertram for a boy and Hortense for a girl.. with a straight face i might add. lol id rather them stew over those names than  bug me about the ones we'll REALLY pick. 

hooray for our baby Bertram or Hortense!

[mclisa]

We never share names.  If we do, it is some decoy name that is not even a remote possibility.

[kriket]

I've been talking to DH about this. I don't think we are going to share the name before the birth. There are just too many people with too many ideas. Like DS is named Sirius. Yes, I like Harry Potter, NO I did not name my child after a character in a *movie* ugh. Just because she took every star name that isn't PDR-323 doesn't mean I have to pick something else.

And my mom still tries to call DS "Jackson" wtf, really? There is nothing wrong with Jackson, it's just not my tastes! You should know this woman!  You raised me!

Edited by kriket - 11/30/10 at 10:46am

[BeanyMama]

We're keeping mum on names, as well. I discovered after our first two kids that we don't appreciate feedback

[Liora]

I RARELY share names when they are only possibilities.  However, I name my babies when we find out sex.  People don't really give you static when you say "His name is..." there is not room for argument!  If we were unsure I'd keep it to ourselves.

[Peony]

I don't share names until baby is here. I don't name the baby ahead of time but I have a private list of names to choose from.

[MamaPhD]

We don't share names before birth either.  I'd like to keep some things secret just between DH and I.  For DD, even though we found out she was a girl, we only told our parents and keptthe gender (and the name) a secret.  Some people like co-workers were annoyed by it but hey, it's my baby!  This time around, we let the gender slip but name is a secret.  Actually my sister got really mad that I wouldn't tell her but I didn't budge. 

[MyFullHouse]

I shared our name choices for this one in a thread a couple of months ago, but that's it.  IRL, it isn't announced until after the fact.  Our kids don't even know until then, because we know they can't keep their mouths shut!

No matter what the name, there will always be at least one person who makes a comment or a face that lets doubt creep in.  It's a wonder any baby gets named at all, lol.

With my very first baby, I did reveal his name early, but then I spent the rest of the pregnancy terrified that I'd want to change my mind.  Considering how many things his grandmother had embroidered in advance, that wouldn't have been an easy decision!

[jenofur]

We never share names. Not even on internet forums. 

Our first daughter was a secret until she was born and we were sure that was her name and it will be the same this time. I don't even like telling people names that I like when I'm not pregnant. I made the mistake of telling my Mom that we really liked the name Felix and she got such a stink face and still til this day over a year later will say how much she hates that name. 

[dakotablue]

I've told only those people who I trust to not go eww really or "Ohhhh....."

Like my best friend and my grandmother. Otherwise I just tell people we don't know what sex the baby is (true) and we have a few names we're throwing around (really only two of each gender) and want to wait until we see the baby is here to know who it is (also true)

I don't like the idea of input because seriously I don't care how cute some one elses baby was that was named whatever. naming our children is personal to us.

[Rnejic]

We don't share names here either.  My first 2 are adopted through foster care and we decided to change their names when they were adopted.  With them I told everyone all of our thoughts and it was horribly annoying because everyone had to tell me their opinion and how much they hated the names and why.  It made finally picking a name really difficult for me because someone hated each of them.  When I got pregnant I decided to only discuss it with DH.  I once towards the end of my pregnancy mentioned a few of our choices with DSS and he started complaining about them.  Never again! 

[~Adorkable~]

We have not told anyone our short lists for a few reasons and with a few exceptions:



Reasons not to tell:

If I say a name and they felled compelled as they always seem to do to dare some horrible association with me, they may ruin my love of the name and i don't need that, finding ones I like and dh like were hard enough!



If I tell, folks will get the delusional idea that they have some say in the matter and clearly they don't, ever, anyone.



Reasons I told 3 people:



My mom, I tell her but only after a full discussion of the above two points and her fully understanding them. She keeps associations to names to her self 1000% and just helps me with logistics like nicknames and spelling and general impressions and fully knows that I totally don't care if she "likes" any of it.



A very close friends wife, who is quickly becoming a great friend as well. She is due just a few months after me, so we had a quick chat to Che k in and make sure we went both falling in love with the same names. I would have felt bummed if I had ended up " taking" her favorite name, so I thought it was just the right thing to do.

Thankfully we seem to be on different paths with names and the only one she has on her list that I once wanted on mine, is already taken by another immediate family member, so I'm actually really glad my friend gets if, since I really can't.



The third person is a type of person, let's say 10-12 year olds. I think finding relative unrelated kids and telling them your final choices (you don't even have to say what the name is for) and then getting there feedback is fun and informative. They will come up with rhymes that you never thought up and there rea tins are honest and without baggage. It's good to know these thoughts, I don't believe that my kids need foolproof names as I did not have one and did just fine, but I like to know what they are up against.

[goldenwillow]

We didn't share either.  There are only a few sacred things these days with having a babe it seems.  Also, we didn't want all the chatter or opinions of others.