Anyone else NOT telling anyone about their name contenders? - Page 3

[anne1140]

We're not sharing names, because I don't want negative feedback, but also because I've heard too many stories of people who shared their names and others ended up "stealing" them. Not always obviously, but because they forgot where they heard it from and decided they liked it. I know too many pregnant women to risk that. 

I do share on internet forums, though.

[the janet]

We have a running list and had planned on keeping all contenders a secret...until my FIL asked over Thanksgiving to see the list. My husband, for whatever annoying reason, decided to show him. I wasn't in the room at the time but I didn't overhear any comments from him...which was good.

However, I just got a Facebook message from my FIL asking to send him the entire list. I think I might ignore that request. I don't know what he wants the list for but I don't want any input from anyone about the kid's name. The other issue is his mother's name is on the list and, while my husband really likes it, I'm not crazy about it and I don't want to get my FIL's hopes up. If we end up with a daughter who has a different name, he'll probably be hurt.

And this is exactly why I didn't want to share the list with anyone.

[meg007]

I'm pregnant with my first baby, and to be honest, I didn't think much about these things!  My husband and I felt set on names pretty early, so we said we were okay sharing it.  But when I did, I got some awful reactions from just a few people.  I got great reactions from many close friends (I first shared it in a large group of friends ), I also got some "meh" reactions, and a few "well you might change your mind," reactions, and my mom just said, "Oh... really?"  Sad.  And even with the many great reactions, the bad reactions stuck with me and bugged me a bit.

But, my husband and I love the name, it's very special to us, and we're keeping it!

I think I am glad that I shared a little, on the one hand, because I really did need to hear the very honest, and very supportive feedback of my best friend.  Knowing how thoughtful and honest she can be while still being kind made me feel worlds better. 

Other peoples' negative reactions did test my allegiance to the name.  They didn't ruin it for me.  I felt defensive about it, and knew I liked the name even more, which was something I needed to realize too, I think. 

And finally, I felt the need to bounce this particular name off a few people, because we're naming after a deceased family member, to honor him, and that is really emotional and hard in some ways.  I had always been of a mindset to not "repeat" names.  Like I never really got the whole generations and generations of Davids, or whatnot, that some families have.  (The name we're choosing is not David, btw.  Our name choice is a very rarely heard name these days.)  So I wasn't sure when my husband suggested it.  But then having several friends who'd known the original family member understand and say, "no, that's so sweet, and awesome!" then I felt a lot better about it.  I just didn't want the baby's identity to overshadow the memories of his namesake, or for new baby not to have his own identity, if that makes any sense.  Maybe a weird worry, maybe not.  But I feel better now.

So I'm glad in one sense, but in another, I wish I hadn't told quite SO many people.  Next kid, I'll try to keep it a total secret!!  (Knowing me, that'll never happen, lol!)  I hate that people are so *harsh* with their opinion sharing, though, and I kind of hate that I didn't realize people did that pre-pregnancy!  But it is what it is, and I'm glad I'm learning to let go of caring what others think!

[meg007]

Me: Last time I checked, the vikings invaded Britain. Besides, we'd like to raise a strong, independent woman, not someone who needs to depend on boys for her self-fulfillment.

Carolina Kel, I am so happy you said that to your MIL!!  That's hilarious.

[lovingmommyhood]

We never share our names before they're born. For two reasons. One is that I like surprising people with the name after the baby's born and two I do not deal well with negative comments. If someone said "Oh...that's interesting..." I would never change the name, I'd just know that from then on that that person hated my kid's name. Too much risk for hard feelings imo!

[rad]

We never share our names. Everyone always has something to say about a name before the baby is born. Usually it seems to be negative. But afterwards, they tend to keep their comments to themselves.

[Mamatoabunch]

We never share, we don't need feedback. We choose what we love and feels just for our family.

[erigeron]

Well, I've discussed name brainstorming with half a zillion of my friends and a lot of my husband's family members, none of whom have been at all wet-blankety about names or done any of the stereotypically annoying things that people do with other people's name choices. But after last night when my mom asserted that 'grandparents get veto rights', I'm inclined to not tell anybody anything and so avoid the drama. I SO did not need that with all the struggle that hubby and I are already having, even though the only name that she vetoed was one that I didn't like anyway. I won't tell her our baby's name until we're 100% set, and I don't think I'll feel 100% set until the baby is actually born.