Okay, so there was a lot that happened that I left out of the last post because I wanted to see how it all played out. At this point, though, I am contacting my lawyer and asking if we can ask the Judge to order supervised visit. I'll try to give the short version because I'm exhausted and need to sleep!
Friday- ex invited ds out for breakfast (ds picked McDonalds). Ex refused to actually GET food for ds so forced me to. No biggie, at least I knew ds was eating.
Saturday- I was with ds at ex's house for the first 1 1/2 hours. Then I left and ex had ds alone for 1 1/2 hours. Right as I was leaving after the first 1 1/2 hours I heard ds tell ex that he was hungry. Ex mumbled something about "when your mom comes back". When I picked up ds at the end of the visit I was putting him in his carseat when he started complaining about being hungry and said that ex wouldn't give him any food even though he told him he was hungry At the end of the visit, as we were packing ds up, ex and his sister promised ds that the next morning they were going to make him a big Christmas breakfast for that side of the family. They asked what breakfast foods ds likes so he and I told them. They were cool with that and told him that the next say he would come over and they would have a big breakfast and they would have some Christmas gifts for him.
Sunday- I got ds ready and took him over to ex's house. The roads were absolutely horrible and we were a couple minutes late but no biggie. Ex and I talked about it and ex told me that I could pick ds up early so that we could get on the road (we had to drive back to Kentucky and the roads were really bad). So I told ex I would go back to my dad's house, pack up and then come pick ds up between 10-11. I got back to ex's house at about 10:15. I went in and said hi to everyone (ex, his wife, their baby, ex's parents, ex's sister, her two kids and a family friend were there). We got ds packed up and ready to go. As we were leaving I heard ex and his family talking about how "starving" they were and deciding whether they should go out to the restaurant ex works at to eat breakfast. WHAT?!? I somehow kept a cool head and didn't go back in and ARGH (UA prevents me from completing that sentence...). Instead I took my little man out to my car. As I was buckling him up he started saying he was really hungry and practically begging me for food He said "Matt promised me yesterday he was going to make me a yummy breakfast today but he didn't. I kept asking him for food but he kept telling me no". Are. You. Kidding. Me. Seriously took all the willpower I had to not go back into ex's house. It would not have been a pretty picture. Thankfully I had brought a bunch of food with me (preparing for the long drive) so I fixed ds up a big breakfast and he ate until he couldn't stuff anything else in that little belly of his. I was so pissed off. Seriously- wtf was he thinking not feeding ds?! DS had been up since 6:45. It was 10:30 by the time he got out to my car. He hadn't eaten since about 7:00 the previous night. You let a 7 year old child (who already has feeding issues) go 15 1/2 hours without eating..... because you didn't want to be bothered with making him something YOU PROMISED HIM!?!
So.... here's where the question comes in..... it's neglect to not feed the child, right? What he did was neglect? Everything else aside (the lack of carseat, the lack of age appropriate toys/books (the only stuff he had for ds to play with was his 1 year old sons toys..... ds is 7), etc), I am so freaking pissed off about the food. 3 days in a row he refused to feed ds. WTF?!? I sent an email to my lawyer asking her if the Judge would consider that neglect and asking what we should do. I really want to file something to get sole custody with him having supervised visits until he can prove (for an extended period of time) that he can consistently do those visits AND actually care for ds during them (not make me do everything, such as feeding him). I am so pissed off for ds. No child, anywhere, should have to beg for food- especially from a "parent". No child should be told no, they aren't going to get breakfast. I feel like ds's innocence has been broken. He's never had to beg for food. He's never been told no, he couldn't have a meal.
Another minor, yet stupid thing.... we were driving home today and ds suddenly said from the backseat "did you know that Santa is Matt's brother?". Ummm.... what? I asked him who told him that and he said "Matt". WTF?!? Why in the world are you telling ds that you are Santa's brother?!? I have protected ex for 7 years. Today was the end of that. I told ds that no, Santa was not Matt's brother. He said "but Matt told me he was". I told him "Well, Matt is lying to you. I don't know why Matt is lying to you but you can ask him that. You know that I always tell you the truth, and the truth is that Santa is not Matt's brother". DS was so sad that Matt lied to him, but I'm not going to let ex tell ds these crazy tales and back him up. Then when ds finds out ex is lying he'll think *I* was lying too. I've always told ds the truth and I don't intend to stop now.