Dealing with the naked, sensory defensive 3-yr-old

[LaurieG]

DD, who has had tactile defensiveness since birth, has recently decided she doesn't like the feeling of her pants and panties.  So far we have been mostly successful at convincing her she can't go outside until she has pants on, though occassionally she has been known to sneak out naked from the waist down.  But if we are out and about the second we get in to the house she strips.  We haven't made a big deal out of it b/c its just been family in the house so if we ask her to put on clothes and she refuses we drop the subject and hope nobody opens the front door.

But today DS (age 8) had a friend over to visit when DD decided to strip.  I eventually convinced her to watch a video in my bedroom but that didn't last long and it came down to just about having a major power struggle over her getting dressed.

Any thoughts on how to handle this?  It seems to be getting worse in that it started off as just shoes and socks (every time we were in the car they came off) but now its pants.  Luckily she can't get her shirt off herself.

[Emmeline II]

How does she do with dresses?

There have been a few threads with suggestions for sites with clothes for sensitive children.

[LaurieG]

Originally Posted by Emmeline II 

How does she do with dresses?

There have been a few threads with suggestions for sites with clothes for sensitive children.

During the same period of time that she has been avoiding pants she has also been much more interested in dresses, which would be fine but her preference is for the summery sleeveless short dresses, especially those she has outgrown so they barely cover her behind (or they don't at all).  I can't talk her in to wearing her heavier fall and winter dresses or the longer summery dresses.  And tights or baby legs are absolutely out so we're in trouble on chilly days. 

I've seen at least one thread like you mention, but in that one the issue was seams and other things that are not a major player for us right now.  I'll have to do a search and see what else comes up. 

I think the other issue playing in to this is that she is exceptionally difficult to fit for pants.  She has short legs and she is very skinny so literally we don't have a pair of pants that fit her well right now at all.  They are all either too short but fit in the waist or fit well length wise but fall down because of the large waist or too big on all accounts (if it came as a set with a shirt she is now able to wear).  So understandably they are not that comfortable, but I've looked all over for a pair of pants that fits her well and can't find one.  If I do I'll buy 10 pairs - LOL.   

[nayma]

have you looked into unitards?  my dd (4) used to be a nightmare to dress, and everything came off all the time - in public.  one of the first things she really started to tolerate was bathing suits or leotards.  then my sister found her a full-body unitard (footless, but long pants and sleeves, made of velour), and she LOVED it.  she still squezzes herself into it, though now it looks a bit inappropriate on her - lol!  anyway, worth a shot... also, i discovered my dd is really visually sensitive about clothing.  i know that sounds silly, but i swear she is almost offended by certain looks, colors, etc.  when i started letting her pick out every bit of her clothing, things got easier.

[LaurieG]

Originally Posted by nayma 

have you looked into unitards?  my dd (4) used to be a nightmare to dress, and everything came off all the time - in public.  one of the first things she really started to tolerate was bathing suits or leotards.  then my sister found her a full-body unitard (footless, but long pants and sleeves, made of velour), and she LOVED it.  she still squezzes herself into it, though now it looks a bit inappropriate on her - lol!  anyway, worth a shot... also, i discovered my dd is really visually sensitive about clothing.  i know that sounds silly, but i swear she is almost offended by certain looks, colors, etc.  when i started letting her pick out every bit of her clothing, things got easier.

No, but this is a great idea.  She is fascinated by the leotards the girls wear at DS's gymnastics studio.  I bought her one, but in that case the seam was an issue.  I've been considering getting her some of the dance leotard and skirt combos but I hadn't considered just letting that be her daily outfit, and I've never seen a unitard for a small child.  I'll have to look in to that.  How does going potty work with the unitard?  Is it something she might be able to manage on her own at least to get it off?

[nayma]

http://www.riversedgedancewear.com/lonsleevslee.html

that's just one example, but they're around.  i'm telling you, my dd picks out the oddest, most wacky outfits (even for a four year-old), but as long as her girly bits are covered, i'm happy -lol!! people who see us on a regular basis (the receptionist at OT, the cheese lasy at the farmer's market, etc.) have said, "i always look forward to seeing what your daughter will be wearing this week!!!"  

have you ever let your dd go and pick some stuff?

[LaurieG]

Originally Posted by nayma 

http://www.riversedgedancewear.com/lonsleevslee.html

that's just one example, but they're around.  i'm telling you, my dd picks out the oddest, most wacky outfits (even for a four year-old), but as long as her girly bits are covered, i'm happy -lol!! people who see us on a regular basis (the receptionist at OT, the cheese lasy at the farmer's market, etc.) have said, "i always look forward to seeing what your daughter will be wearing this week!!!"  

have you ever let your dd go and pick some stuff?

Thanks for the link.  They look very comfortable and fun!

Most of her clothes are hand me downs but on the occassion when we've gone shopping I always have her pick what she likes but often what seems good in the store eventually gets on her nerves after wearing it for a bit and then she never tries it again.  I think maybe we need to get away from the standards and let her choose more interesting clothes.  I agree that I don't care what the kids want to wear as long as no one would consider it obscene - LOL.  And on that note, I better go try to convince her to wear pants since she just ran downstairs where our friends from out of town are hanging out.  Luckily I warned the parents last night (and they are good friends from college) and they also have a little girl so the older kids are used to seeing naked 2 and 3 yr old girls running around.

[laurata]

Originally Posted by nayma 

http://www.riversedgedancewear.com/lonsleevslee.html

that's just one example, but they're around.  i'm telling you, my dd picks out the oddest, most wacky outfits (even for a four year-old), but as long as her girly bits are covered, i'm happy -lol!! people who see us on a regular basis (the receptionist at OT, the cheese lasy at the farmer's market, etc.) have said, "i always look forward to seeing what your daughter will be wearing this week!!!"  

have you ever let your dd go and pick some stuff?

LOL!  My dd went probably two years where all she would ever wear were "Princess" dresses.  I had mothers looking at me in horror because my 3yo was dressed in lace and covered in sand and mud.  But she was so happy and I felt we got every penny's worth out of those dresses.