What "forbidden" behaviors have you indulged in/are you comfortable with?

[Blanca78]

I ask because I am seriously tempted to have sushi tonight, and I think I will. Some friends invited me out and I can never get DH to go w/me because he's not a fan of Japanese food. And I know after the baby's born the opportunities to go out for good sushi with friends will be few and far between. Once can't hurt, right? 

I've also broken the deli meats taboo several times and had a runny egg yesterday. I've started drinking coffee almost every day (not a ton at a time, though) and have been taking sips of my husband's beer & wine all along. In the second trimester, I've had the occasional bit (half glass or so) of beer/wine. Still well below that British study's safe level of 2 drinks/week. I want a glass of wine on my birthday in January. 

I can see myself justifying all this as I write--I feel defensive! I continue to really struggle with the boundaries between my independence/autonomy, my baby's well being, my fears/guilt, and my profound resentment at the idea the woman as a slave to her baby/policing women's behavior and bodies at the expense of her own independence. Where is the line between safety and paranoia? Autonomy and selfishness?

What do you all think? Anyone else struggling with these questions? 

[SeattleMolly]

This is a great thread, Blanca. The questions you raise are much deeper than avoiding certain foods. There is a weird paternalistic bent in our culture around monitoring pregnant women's behavior for the sake of the baby. Sometimes I don't feel trusted as a woman to make the best decisions for the entity I love most in the world, my tiny baby. DH and I were discussing the medicalization of birth as an extension of this. That somehow the very natural act of giving birth had to be robbed from women and put in the hands of all-knowing "experts" in the last century.

I started drinking about a cup of coffee a day after the first trimester. I ate blue cheese because it was haunting me a couple weeks ago. And I had 3 sips of wine last night and felt the effect-just the tingly feeling in my extremities. I can't imagine if I drank a whole glass!!! My family is going wine-tasting for Thanksgiving, and I think I should probably taste and spit considering my low tolerance .

Your choices are up to you, and it sounds like you are empowered enough to make the best one in regards to an evening out with friends and sushi! And you know pregnant women in Japan have eaten sushi for centuries!

[ComfyCozy]

You sound just like me. Relax. I mean, I'm not saying "Relax because if I'm doing it then it must be good for you!" but you sound like you are taking to the time to educate yourself and are evaluating what risks are and are not acceptable to you.

I eat my eggs with a little "run" to them--I know where they come from. I have had sushi once. Lordy I could go for that again! It came from a restaurant I trust. I have had sips of this and that, and like you, nothing even approaching 2 glasses a week. Lunchmeats, yes, but I do try to be careful which brand I buy and I don't let it sit out. Drinking a cup of coffee as I type--one a day, if I can even get that down.

This baby has so limited my diet, that I do like to treat myself where I can within limits.

[midwestmeg]

Most all of the general ones.

I don't worry about food choices or a glass of wine(this does not mean I am an alcoholic, btw)... I have a healthy immune system, eat a local/homegrown/organic diet and exercise regularly. I always eat sushi at least a few times a year, and if it happens during pregnancy, so be it. I have never heeded any of the eggs/dairy/cheese stuff.

I feel humans wouldn't have made it to this day and age if we weren't pretty resilient. Of course, so much of what you should pay attention to during pregnancy depends on your genetics, general state of health and personal comfort level, but the only way I've found peace with pregnancy and parenting is to throw caution to the wind and just trust my instincts.

You can take my words with a big grain of salt... I refuse to be a worrier.

[Nanette56]

Considering your question as I sit here eating my Brie on crackers But seriously, I think there's a fine line between being cautious and being paranoid. I know moms in each category. I KNOW there are some things I'm paranoid about, but for the most part I think simply being cautious is enough. My philosophy is to be wary of the places I eat, and just don't eat the forbidden fruits too often. Sure, there are some things you have to sacrifice- football season is definitely not as fun without all the beer ! But the studies always seem to change one way or the other. What's good for you today, is going to be a no-no in 10 years. I always cringe at the stuff I ate and drank when I was pregnant with DS 6 years ago. There was a lot we didn't know! I have changed those habits, even though DS was and is perfectly healthy, but I gotta have my sushi, soft cheese and cold deli meats every once in a while. And if you think about it, there's plenty of allowed foods that can make you just as sick. Personally, I just think Caution and Moderation are the key But that's just my

[jeminijad]

DDCC from May.

The only "rule" I follow is that I cut out most alcohol.

[nerdymom]

Originally Posted by Blanca78 

I ask because I am seriously tempted to have sushi tonight, and I think I will. Some friends invited me out and I can never get DH to go w/me because he's not a fan of Japanese food. And I know after the baby's born the opportunities to go out for good sushi with friends will be few and far between. Once can't hurt, right? 

I've also broken the deli meats taboo several times and had a runny egg yesterday. I've started drinking coffee almost every day (not a ton at a time, though) and have been taking sips of my husband's beer & wine all along. In the second trimester, I've had the occasional bit (half glass or so) of beer/wine. Still well below that British study's safe level of 2 drinks/week. I want a glass of wine on my birthday in January. 

I can see myself justifying all this as I write--I feel defensive! I continue to really struggle with the boundaries between my independence/autonomy, my baby's well being, my fears/guilt, and my profound resentment at the idea the woman as a slave to her baby/policing women's behavior and bodies at the expense of her own independence. Where is the line between safety and paranoia? Autonomy and selfishness?

What do you all think? Anyone else struggling with these questions? 

Oh yes! Great questions! I get so frustrated that I am treated (not just by doctors but by complete strangers) as the enemy of my child, that my child needs to be sheltered from me, because I am too ignorant/fragile/emotionally unstable/mentally compromised to make good decisions. It infuriates me that I will get snotty looks or even concerned comments for eating real butter, or soft boiled eggs, or sushi or a glass of wine yet if I were wolfing down a piece of cake, washing it down with diet soda, and finishing the meal with ice cream and pickles, no one would bat an eye. I don't need to be patronized, I don't need to be educated, and I just want you to leave me alone!

To answer your first question, I have been loving soft boiled eggs. But I get my eggs from my dad's pastured flock. I know these chickens, and I know they are healthy. I would not eat runny eggs from the store. A farmers market, perhaps, if I had a relationship with that farmer and knew where the eggs were coming from yes. But with the recent salmonella outbreak, I am not comfortable eating runny or raw eggs from a mysterious company. I do buy supermarket eggs for cooking and baking though.

Other rules, well, if I had the money, I would eat sushi every single day. There are two places that make good sushi, and I trust them. I do not do supermarket sushi while pregnant. As for alcohol, I have not had the inclination to drink recently. If I did I would, in moderation as always. I plan on having a glass of champagne on New Years. Deli meats we don't eat often anyways, I only eat it when I am out. So I do try to avoid it since I don't know if the restaurant is keeping the meats at the proper temp or not. If I have a sub, I have it toasted, or I get chicken salad.

Personally I wish I could write a few "rules" - banning things like, um, vaccinations for pregnant women. But no one listens to me.

[midwestmeg]

nerdymom, you said it really well. I too, pay close attention to my food sources and feel like I've educated myself well enough to know what I'm ok with.

[Lauren82]

Originally Posted by jeminijad 

DDCC from May.

The only "rule" I follow is that I cut out most alcohol.

Me too.

[othersomethings]

since being pregnant, I've had med rare steak, two glasses of wine, and feta cheese.

I think that's the extent of my "taboo" consumption. 

[dayiscoming2006]

I have a few sips of wine here and there for my upset tummy. I eat lunch meat. I have runny yoked eggs. 

I ate feta cheese and raw cheese with my last pregnancy (I was in Romania.) 

I lift more than 30 lbs or whatever they say pregnant women are not supposed to lift more than? Of course, that is because I have an almost 4 year old that is almost 40 lbs. 

Edited by dayiscoming2006 - 11/11/10 at 2:06pm

[TinyFrog]

I don't consider my raw milk/cheese taboo, but many would.   I suppose that chocolate cherry liquor thingy I had should have been off limits too.

[karanyavel]

DDCC from Feb. '11.

I've broken pretty much all of the rules, except for things like "Don't smoke crack while pregnant." Did the same with both prior pregnancies... no complications. Not that I've gotten smashed or anything, but I've had a glass of wine here and there, eaten deli meats and Mexican cheeses (although I think the cheeses were all made w/pasteurized milk anyway), taken OTC and prescription meds (with the exception of NSAIDs like ibuprofen... and prescribed meds have been taken as prescribed but I'm on a lot of 'em).

Never did fill my script for prenatal vitamins (but I do eat a lot of veggies and take calcium & vitamin D). I drink quite a lot of caffeine, and my OB during my last pregnancy actually suggested that I keep the caffeine intake up because I tend towards low BP (along with fainting). She said I'd have to drink something like 12 cups of coffee a day for it to carry any significant risk, anyway.

Haven't had any undercooked anything but I can't stomach anything less than well-done when it comes to meat and eggs, anyway.

Thanks for the reminder, though.. I bought a bottle of wine a few weeks ago and I think I might pull the cork on it tonight. Don't worry, I won't drink it all in one sitting

--K

[Astrid1024]

I eat soft cheeses, deli meat, raw milk, I drink the occasional glass of wine now that I am in the 2nd trimester, enjoy California rolls on a regular basis and drink mostly decaf coffee multiple times a day. I know where my food comes from and trust the source - local, organic, etc. We get our raw milk from an organic farm in town and I know they sanitize bottles, etc.I couldn't go through pregnancy with this "can't do this and that and the other" mindset. I think the U.S. is particularly terrible for perpetuating this "everything is dangerous" attitude toward pregnancy.

[Stayseeliz]

I don't like sushi or anything so I'm okay with that. I'm seriously craving deli meat so I might indulge at some point. I drink some caffeine each day. Don't think I could function without it. And I'm lifting "heavy" when I workout although not nearly as heavy as I was before I got pg!!

[babygrey]

Can I just mention threads like these are part of why I love MDC- bc I know we can all have an open discussion about this w/o the necessary party line of "oh, you shouldn't do x bc you will hurt your baby..."

I agree w/ pps that it is a bigger issue than just taboos, and ties into women being able to be in control of their own bodies and trusting their ability to mother.

Me personally? This pg, I regularly do two 'forbidden' things

- I take prescription meds for nausea. This one, I suppose, is on border about whether it is truly 'forbidden' or not, but def feels taboo to me.

- I sit in hot baths or hot tubs a few times a week. I have chronic pelvic pain from endo and adhesions, and it offers relief that I can't get otherwise w/o narcotics. I watch myself and make sure I don't feel too warm, and, usually, only soak up to my waist (the first couple times, I actually took a thermometer w/ me bc I was paranoid.)

My last pg, I drank an occasional glass of wine. This time, I've been too sick for that to even be a question.

I am, however, paranoid as all get out about food. This isn't just pg related- I'm like that not pg, too, but esp when I'm pg, the thought of any of the questionable foods just turns my stomach, so I trust my body to know that perhaps I don't have the immune system to handle it.

[alirebco]

I've had sushi multiple times this pregnancy - every couple of weeks.  We go to a restaurant where we have gone for years and I feel really confident in them.  I also eat my eggs runny if I can stomach them that way. 

[hannybanany]

I also have had sushi several times. Feta is a staple in our house, and it's made with pasteurized milk anyway. I'm cautious about deli meats. Runny eggs and less than well cooked meats don't appeal to me at all, ever.

[MnMtm]

I may be a bit paranoid about eveything when I am pregnant. DH has used the word "fanatical," but I think he just did that to irritate me; I may not be mainstream, but I think "fanatical," is a bit of an extreme description. When I eat deli meat, I sear it in a pan first. For me, it hasn't been that big of a deal, though. Deli meat and runny eggs are the only things I ate regularly that are considered taboo. Now, I just sear my meat, and I've been making "green eggs,"  (eggs scrambled with spinach puree,) which my DS loves, in place of over-easy eggs. I already don't drink alcohol, coffee, or even soda. I am also refusing all vaccinations, which wasn't as big of a deal to my current employer as it was my previous employer. (I am a nurse, so some people make a big deal out of it.) I also don't take any medications, which has had the added benefit of pushing me to expand my knowledge of safe natual remedies. I have been tempted to have my DH cook up some of his delicious salmon, but I'm trying to find the research on whether or not it is safe. From what I've read so far, it is safe if it is wild caught, but not if it's fish farm salmon.

[mamaki]

Personally, I won't drink any alcohol, not even a sip when I'm pregnant.  FASD just scares the crap out of me.  Fine with drinking while breastfeeding though.  I have been avoiding deli meat, runny eggs and anything else remotely raw, all of which I don't normally have a problem with. 

I eat sushi, but I don't eat any of the raw stuff (which is my favourite!).  There are lots of yummy sushi foods that are not raw and are therefore safe though.  I drink decaf coffee, usually one a day.  I can't drink regular coffee because it affects my sleep (pregnant or not).  I love coke and pepsi though and I often have one a day.

I think I've been more paranoid this pregnancy because of the complications I had earlier.  In my previous pregnancies I was a bit more lenient on the deli meats, egg yolks and sushi.

Oh, and I've taken Diclectin throughout all of my pregnancies so far.