Originally Posted by karanyavel
Sorry if I wasn't clear. I would never *ask* for compensation, but I would feel it rude if someone asked for childcare/other major favor without *offering* compensation. Hope that makes more sense. I probably wouldn't accept compensation if it was a one-off and nothing too huge, but the fact that they offered to compensate me for my time tells me that they value my time and effort.
And that applies to family as well (outside of household members). Just the way I was raised, I guess. Certainly my parents would never ask me for anything, not even a ride, without offering to pay for gas and then some, and I wouldn't ask either without making the offer of payment or reciprocation. Generally we decline each other's compensation, it's more a matter of reassuring the other person that you're not trying to take advantage.
hey no need to apologize. what i was trying to say is that its not you asking - but you offering me compensation for watching your child - yup i would find that rude. to me that's not valuing my friendship. even if it is on a regular basis say once a week. i dont expect reciprocation. i am not watching your child for money you know.
if your intention is trying to avoid looking like you are not trying to take advantage - offering some sort of compensation IMHO is going over the top.
i am not trying to point my finger at you. i am at the complete opposite of you that's why i am trying to share my views on this. we are a bunch of single or student or full time working moms. we always tell each other we are there if they EVER need ANYTHING. we always are willing to watch each others kids when the time arises. we all take turns to even take our kids to things like girl scout, etc. the mom who does not have the car gets helped out the most. just becuase we know. we also just offer when we know there might be a problem.
there is a give and take. sometimes when i am in the take, take, take, mode i talk to my friends about how much they do and how bad i feel i cant do anything in return... they genuinely say my time will come. that really what they are doing for me is not a big deal. in fact they are happy to have my dd there so that she has someone to play with. the same applies to us.
if i ever offered any compensation OMG all hell would break lose. instead when $$$s allow sometimes i take their kids for a treat. icecream. or a picnic. or hiking. i have as much fun as the kids do - esp. if there are younger ones than dd.
so there is this unwritten dynamics of watching kids.