How to get my 18M DD to make solids her main food and not breastmilk?

[Auraji]

My DD I'd say eats a great variety of food. Everyone is always amazed at the kind of thing she eats, but then again everyone I know it's very mainstream, traditional about what they eat. We did BLW and she started solids around 6 months, she's always very curious about food and likes to try things as long as you let her eat it on her own. There are of course certain days where she'll eat better, but still I feel like mama's milk is her main source of nutrition and it's driving me a bit crazy because she nurses SO much. It'd be ok if it was 4-5 times a day,  but it seems like it's 10-12 times and I don't know how to make it less. Yes, there are some weeks where her interest in solids increases significantly, but most of the time, she prefers boob over food. 

I was working for about 2-3 months, but I lost my job and she did go to daycare part-time. She would drink milk there, something she has never really done when I'm around. I've tried whole milk, 2%, soymilk and she does like to drink water and I've recently started giving her OJ mixed with water. I don't expect water or juice to be a substitute for breastmilk though.

I'm just concerned about her nutrition. We don't eat meat, but we eat fish, eggs and dairy. She lately will only eat tuna. She doesn't seem to touch her eggs, when she does only takes a bite. This morning I made some sort of huevos rancheros with beans and diced tomatoes and cheese, she didn't eat one bite. I've been making her eggs in different ways every morning for me and her and she just will not eat them. She does love cheese and constantly snacks on it. We just shared a snack of whole grain crackers with apples and cheddar slices. That's basically all she has eaten today, that and a couple strawberries and nursed, nursed, nursed. She used to love snacking on beans and lately it seems she eats a couple and then decides she's done.

I worry about her protein intake and I worry about her fat intake. I'm pretty lax about things, serve her food or share my food with her and let her eat what she wants. I keep healthy food at home and put things in the fridge to her reach, she loves going there with a bowl and grabbing fruits and string cheese.  She seemed to have lost her love for yogurt too. I keep telling myself that this will eventually pass, but I just really no longer have the patience to nurse so much.  Any ideas mamas?

[Auraji]

anyone?

[Chamomile Girl]

Sounds like my kid!  I try not to stress it because he is growing still (and has plenty of dirty diapers).  I just figure that his body knows what its doing.  I get frustrated sometimes with his love for the boob, but I have also come to realize that he likes to boob when he is bored.  If we are out of the house he is much more likely to eat solids for some reason.  When I get concerned that he is not eating enough I will offer him stuff I know he loves (like Korean food lol!) and he loads up.

But overall I think that toddlers go through a period where foods are not as interesting to them as we wish they were. 

[tzs]

hope you get some good answers. i actually just stopped nursing so i have no experience with nursing a toddler but i think by 6 months we were down to 4-5 sessions a day and she was eating solids. some meals she ate more and some less, of course. i firmly believe that barring medical issues, a kiddo will self-regulate their food needs. but i was actually wondering just yesterday what people do with solids, pickier eaters, and a nursing toddler who could actually more consciously demand "milkies" to substitute. then they may not be regulating their "food" intake in the way that i imagine them doing without the supplemental BM intake.

my only thought was why not just have limits on nursing like you would with anything else in a toddler's life (i.e. if my babe wanted bananas every hour, i would tell her to wait until snack or mealtime)? if a healthy 6 month old (for example) can get by on 4-5 sessions a day then why not limit an older toddler to something similar and at specific times. my older babe, for example, nursed at wake-up, first nap, second nap, bedtime, and maybe once early am to go back to sleep...all of those times really didn't coincide with meals, they were for comfort and sleeping (and yeah, the benefits of BM.) so why not do so with a toddler who obviously does not require nursing every 2-3 hours?

just a thought. i'd love to hear what nursing mamas of older toddlers actually do...

[iheartwren]

Around 16 months I decided I wanted to cut back on nursing-it took about two months and we cut  down nursing to three times a day and sold intake greatly increased.  I think it was directly related-we partially weaned very slowly and within a month she was so much more interested in eating.

[Bebe's Mom]

How old is DD? Could she be teething?  I have read that after two, toddlers eat a lot less, and it may seem like they are not getting enough, but since they are growing at a slower rate they need less food. How long are her nursing sessions? possibly she is not nursing long enough to get hindmilk, and is just quenching her thirst, or even comfort nursing??? Do you have her on a feeding schedule of sorts? I  abhor schedules, but we have evolved a routine where DD gets up in the morning and immediately has breakfast, then she is good til around 10, when she has a nursing session, then lunch around 11:30, then hopefully a nap, then nurse, then snacks till dinner. Her nursing has cut down significantly in the past month or so...As far as nutrition goes, breastmilk has everything she needs, although if you are concerned about iron you can give her a supplement or try to get her to eat some spinach etc...

[crunchy_mommy]

DS was nursing around 20 times a day at 18mos & now (21mos) I've finally got him down to about 10 times. So maybe our situation was a little more extreme, & we still have a ways to go to get him eating more solids, but we're making progress. Basically what I did was offer a snack before nursing him. Especially in the evening, which is when he most likes to nurse... If he asks to nurse, I offer him food. If he has some food or is really resistant to a snack, I do nurse him, but many times he'll settle for the snack. DH was key to making this work, because DS really won't take food from me. Around the same time, we went on vacation as a family, and DH was in charge of meals & snacks all day long, which seemed to get him more in the habit of eating. We also gave him a multivitamin on the suggestion of his doctor, and that did somehow seem to get him eating better. We did BLW as well so DS always fed himself but around that 18mo mark we started helping him out a bit, and still do, especially encouraging him to take that first bite or two or eat an extra few bites at the end of the meal (normally I'd be adamantly against this but he was eating almost NOTHING so we kind of felt we had to force it a bit, not so much for his health but for my sanity).... Also, lots of picnics at the playground & bringing lunch on our playdates seemed to help, because he's a social eater & will eat way more when we're out than when we're at home.

He still doesn't like breakfast, and I think that's because he doesn't have enough time to wake up before he needs to eat & we need to leave the house. He's a late sleeper so we tend to be a bit rushed in the mornings. He'll usually eat a few bites for lunch, and a small snack or two during the day, and he'll eat substantially more in the evening when DH is home, dinner and 2-3 snacks. I wish I could get him to eat more during the day when it's just him & me, but his nursing is more reasonable during the day as well so maybe he's just not as hungry at that time.

Also, I've tried to be really creative to get extra calories, fat, & protein into what I'm feeding him. I put coconut milk into everything (vegan mac & cheese, muffins, soup, homemade pudding, rice) and everything is coated in olive oil or Earth Balance... He loves avocado so we do things like guacamole but I also puree avocado into pudding or sauces for pasta. I grind nuts and add them to baked goods, or blend with dried fruit to make a Lara bar type of snack, or mix the ground nuts into our meal (this might sound weird but it tastes good, we're vegan so we kind of get experimental with our dinners to get interesting tastes/textures!) We do the same with pureed squash or pumpkin, mix it into sauces... Everything we eat is pretty much casserole/stirfry-style, so he gets bits of the other ingredients, sauces, etc. in each bite. Like your DD, my DS seems to enjoy a huge range of foods. Mushrooms, artichokes, beans, fruit, spicy curries, 85% dark chocolate, swiss chard, gluten-free pasta, brown rice, etc. He likes pretty much anything, he just doesn't eat a ton, a bite or two & he's done & wants to nurse. He's doing better, now we're at maybe 30% solids instead of 15% like we were a few months ago. I know it can drive you nuts when your toddler is nursing more than a friend's newborn... hope something here will help you encourage her to eat a bit more!!

[Xavismom]

I could have written this WORD FOR WORD other than my DS is only 11.5 mo!!

He also nurses every few hours for most of his intake, and eats a variety, with a major love for cheese!! And we also, eat only fish and eggs, no other meat. I worry about the same things you do. I think he is actually in a reverse cycle as well, since he nurses a ton at night. I would say at least 90% of his intake is breast milk.

Try some really creamy greek yogurt. We buy the greek gods brand, its very very thick, and he will eat a decent amount for breakfast everyday.

One other thing my DS will eat every time is macaroni and cheese, which I am NOT a fan of since I think it is basicly just junk food, until I found the Happy Baby mac n cheeese. Its organic, with lots of veggies 'hidden' in it. It comes in frozen patties you just need to thaw out.

We have tried to get him to eat fish, and he's pretty picky about it. I can get him to eat mahi mahi or tilapia sometimes, if it is cooked certain ways he likes.

Try some quinoa. Its full of protien and calcium. Flavor it with whatever you think your LO likes best. I either hide the quinoa in his breajfast yogurt, some of the happy baby mac n cheese, or mashed up sweet potatoes.

Those are my best food suggestions, I hope at least one of them helps. Other than that, I just try to relax about it.. even though I do wish he would ease up on the nursing a bit so I could get a break. Take prenatals and fish oil so you dont feel so physically drained from it.

FWIW as well, one lovely Mama in my LLL group, has a DS that would not eat ANY solids until past 2 yrs. He is eating now, and actually self weaned himself last week I guess. He is a sweet, healthy, adorable little boy who just really liked the mama milk!!

nak

[Peony]

At 18m, all my kids nursed often and BM was a huge part of their diet. DS is 18m currently, some days he eats well, other days I swear he won't let a drop of food touch his lips. It is mostly just a phase, and as they get older, they will start eating more. If you are wanting the child to eat more, offer more foods more often. As the parent, it is our job is offer, it is their job to eat. ,

[Auraji]

Thanks everyone for your replies!

I understand BM still being a huge part of their diet, but seriously her diet is 80%BM and 20% food and while I know BM is all kinds of wonderful, I know is not what it used to be. I'm not concerned about her weight gain, but just that she's getting the right nutrition and I offer food ALL day. She has a tiny table that always has food and a drink there. Right now it has 2 plates, one with whole grain toast and peanut butter, the rest with cheddar cubes and a bowl with mac & cheese (pre-made at the local grocery store), all she has eaten today has been fruits, We always go to the fridge and grab something to eat, drink together, but I think she likes getting stuff more than she likes eating it.

Crunchy Mommy, special thanks for all your advice. I'll try doing some of those things to ensure that she's at least eating some more protein/fat. DD also eats more when we're out and with people. I wish DP was home more to help, but he works so many hours that is usually just the two us. I have tried the offering the snack before nursing and that usually makes her mad haha, but I still do it. I don't know how some of you mamas have been able to set up a nursing schedule. I've always nursed on demand and when I'm trying to get her to eat or wait, it usually ends on a wrestling match where she wins. I feel bad about refusing to nurse. I wouldn't refuse her any food even if all she wanted was strawberries all day, unless we didn't have any. I serve her very small amounts of food and she rarely finishes any of it. Like today, she got one piece of whole grain toast with peanut butter she didn't touch that, she got 4 cheddar cubes, she ate 2 of those. One whole grain cracker that she took a bite of and she ate the two strawberries and the 3 apple slices. I gave her about 2 oz of mac and cheese, she might have eaten one and didn't care for her yogurt, so I put that back in the fridge. This has been all the food since the morning, she's nursed about 5 times already and yes a lot of times her nursing sessions are short, but she always seemed to have short nurse sessions. I try to encourage her to nurse more at one time, but when she's done, she's done. 

I got myself the super baby food book at a used bookstore the other day and there are some good ideas there on snacks and meals for toddlers and also how to add some extra nutrients in there, kinda like what you're doing crunchy-mommy, so I'll definitely try that. And we do like quinoa here. I've been curious about the Happy Baby brand, so I might check that out too, Xavismom and yes I think a big part of this has to do more with my sanity than her nutrition and I'm happy there are mamas out there that understand